does anyone else not have close extended family and feel really alone?

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Anonymous #1
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My cousisn are all married off with kids, its their kids that i grew up with and we all had so much fun together. The older we got they became so stuck up and not people id be friends with. Not close to cousins at all or anyone else. The family i would be close to are all abroad so i only have my mum adn sister and it makes me sad. Barely have friends either. Is anyone in the same boat as me? I know people usually are not clsoe with extended family due to similar reasons etc but they have friends to make up for it which i dont... i hope my future partner has a big family where ill never feel alone or depressed. Is anyone inhte same boat as me?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My cousisn are all married off with kids, its their kids that i grew up with and we all had so much fun together. The older we got they became so stuck up and not people id be friends with. Not close to cousins at all or anyone else. The family i would be close to are all abroad so i only have my mum adn sister and it makes me sad. Barely have friends either. Is anyone in the same boat as me? I know people usually are not clsoe with extended family due to similar reasons etc but they have friends to make up for it which i dont... i hope my future partner has a big family where ill never feel alone or depressed. Is anyone inhte same boat as me?
Virtually do not know any of my extended family apart from my maternal grandmother and been friendless for the entirety of my life but the only difference being that I do not feel sad at all
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Virtually do not know any of my extended family apart from my maternal grandmother and been friendless for the entirety of my life but the only difference being that I do not feel sad at all
Can I ask, how do you maintain a positive attitude?

I'm genuinely interested to hear your perspective.
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Anonymous #2
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I realised that I was friendless since 17 and during lockdown have had time to reflect on this even deeper. Sure, I was sad when I realised this fact but then I thought to myself that if I have lived 17/18 years without friends then why can I not continue doing so?

I read a book and it said that interpersonal relationships are the root cause of all problems so by keeping them to just your immediate family you have more time to focus on yourself and love yourself.

Every situation has its pros and cons; the most decisive factor is understanding the advantages that the situation gives you and what you can do to exploit it.

Lastly, an army would rather fight to death than get stabbed in the back by disloyal allies.

N.B. this only works if you have immediate family members who support you unconditionally.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Seaboss)
I feel the same, except no cousins either. I suppose you have to make your own family at this point
Yess thats what i dream of and i pray my kids never feel alone in their life. Only thing is i have nobody to have kids with lmao
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Virtually do not know any of my extended family apart from my maternal grandmother and been friendless for the entirety of my life but the only difference being that I do not feel sad at all
how do you not feel sad im i really want to know? I am terrified of something happening to my mum whos the only one and it causes so much anxiety. Do you have a partner? that may be why ? who do you have in your life that youre close to
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I realised that I was friendless since 17 and during lockdown have had time to reflect on this even deeper. Sure, I was sad when I realised this fact but then I thought to myself that if I have lived 17/18 years without friends then why can I not continue doing so?

I read a book and it said that interpersonal relationships are the root cause of all problems so by keeping them to just your immediate family you have more time to focus on yourself and love yourself.

Every situation has its pros and cons; the most decisive factor is understanding the advantages that the situation gives you and what you can do to exploit it.

Lastly, an army would rather fight to death than get stabbed in the back by disloyal allies.

N.B. this only works if you have immediate family members who support you unconditionally.
Read this.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I realised that I was friendless since 17 and during lockdown have had time to reflect on this even deeper. Sure, I was sad when I realised this fact but then I thought to myself that if I have lived 17/18 years without friends then why can I not continue doing so?

I read a book and it said that interpersonal relationships are the root cause of all problems so by keeping them to just your immediate family you have more time to focus on yourself and love yourself.

Every situation has its pros and cons; the most decisive factor is understanding the advantages that the situation gives you and what you can do to exploit it.

Lastly, an army would rather fight to death than get stabbed in the back by disloyal allies.

N.B. this only works if you have immediate family members who support you unconditionally.
That is true i guess
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Moonlight rain
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Children with no siblings want siblings and children with siblings wish they were the only child
Last edited by Moonlight rain; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
Children with no siblings want siblings and children with siblings with they were the only child
not necessailry true all the time. I have siblings and without my sister id be extremely depres*** and wouldnt know what to do in life.
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neal95
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I'm going to get a place in about 11 months and going to isolate myself from family. I dont have anything against anybody, i just want to make my own way. I dont want anything from anybody
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by neal95)
I'm going to get a place in about 11 months and going to isolate myself from family. I dont have anything against anybody, i just want to make my own way. I dont want anything from anybody
oh wow really but do you not fear lonliness? there must be a reason , are they draining
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neal95
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(Original post by Anonymous)
oh wow really but do you not fear lonliness? there must be a reason , are they draining
no i don't think so, just as an asian its kind of all encompassing sometimes. I want to rock up when i want to, rather than feel obliged to host people or visit people. There are often lots of events which are not necessary. I will always welcome people but I think its good to be a bit more distant and focus more on myself. its hard to explain, im an only child and always been used to my own company lol. I like to see family for big occasions but otherwise i want to detach myself a bit.
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Anonymous #4
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I am in similar situation. I was close to my cousins when I was younger, but due to family disputes we’ve all drifted away. Most are married by now. Immediate family is all I have. No friends at all.
I also hope I get married to a future spouse that has a loving family so I can make up for the lack of emotional connections. I also hope my husband also is emotionally nature and likes to expression emotion.
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Anonymous #4
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^so many typos lol
I meant emotionally mature, and is emotionally perceptive so he is someone that has emotional awareness.
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londonmyst
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Yes.
I'm currently supporting eleven very lonely and vulnerable crime survivors in very similar circumstances.
Their parents and extended family members detest them.
To the point of either: totally cutting all interaction & disowning, paying a small allowance through intermediaries while pretending that they are dead to most people/everyone else or limited contact a few times a year while also spreading malicious stories ruining their reputations amongst old acquaintances and childhood friends by using false descriptions like incarcerated felon/sex worker/lunatic detained in secure .

I escaped from my parents before a levels were over 8 years ago, have three surviving ancestors and am unlikely to ever speak to any of them or their toxic pals again.
I'm happily single, live alone and my best friend works in India.
I spend my time working, adding to my collections, reading, cooking for friends & their families, volunteering and increasing my contacts.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am in similar situation. I was close to my cousins when I was younger, but due to family disputes we’ve all drifted away. Most are married by now. Immediate family is all I have. No friends at all.
I also hope I get married to a future spouse that has a loving family so I can make up for the lack of emotional connections. I also hope my husband also is emotionally nature and likes to expression emotion.
how do you deal with it? I feel like our siutations are really similar. Are you close with immediate family because even with me thats an issue, only close to mum and sister but sister does her own thing but just sitting next to her is fine for me, she doesnt listen to anythnig i have to say lol. Also my mum has health issues/ had health issues (All in control now) which has caused me seevre anxiety and thats suddenly been triggered as the weather has warmed up.... first i got depressed because i feel so alone and then my anxiety regarding my mum was triggered. Helps that others feel the same way
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by neal95)
no i don't think so, just as an asian its kind of all encompassing sometimes. I want to rock up when i want to, rather than feel obliged to host people or visit people. There are often lots of events which are not necessary. I will always welcome people but I think its good to be a bit more distant and focus more on myself. its hard to explain, im an only child and always been used to my own company lol. I like to see family for big occasions but otherwise i want to detach myself a bit.
Oh ok same I am also brown and understand how annoying it can be. Luckily family dont come to my house but they would and as im not close to them it would drive me crazy and make me feel uncomfortable in my own home which i hated.
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neal95
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh ok same I am also brown and understand how annoying it can be. Luckily family dont come to my house but they would and as im not close to them it would drive me crazy and make me feel uncomfortable in my own home which i hated.
yeah most of my family are down south, kind of just outside west london way....i like it when there is a big event to drink with them, but otherwise i want to do my own thing. I am in whatsapp groups and things with them which is banter sometimes but I have grown up in a different enviornment to them in the midlands and also believe in a more "nuclear family" view. I think that we all should stand on our own 2 feet to an extent
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by neal95)
yeah most of my family are down south, kind of just outside west london way....i like it when there is a big event to drink with them, but otherwise i want to do my own thing. I am in whatsapp groups and things with them which is banter sometimes but I have grown up in a different enviornment to them in the midlands and also believe in a more "nuclear family" view. I think that we all should stand on our own 2 feet to an extent
Oh i see I personally would love an extended family but with the right people otherwise i dont want it
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