The Student Room Group

Don’t know what to do with my life

Hi there I’m a male that just turned 18 and I am completely lost and clueless, which is making me even more depressed and anxious. It’s like I have no direction as to where I’m going in life.

I left school with no GCSEs and got grade 3s in everything. I don’t know what I can even do with those grades tbh. I don’t have anyone to turn to for advice and my parents think I’m lazy.

To top all of this off I have no social life and very few friends because I distanced myself from people. So I’m basically just in my room for the whole day.

I want to live an independent life and not rely on my parents all the time and eventually move out on my own. I feel like a complete loser right now, being an 18 year old that hasn’t accomplished anything and is still living at home with parents. I have no idea how this ended up happening to me maybe I have a mental illness and I need help.

Do I want this life? Of course not, but I don’t know how to change and every day,month,year seems to just pass by and I still have no direction.

I am very frustrated and annoyed with myself too for not changing, but it is very hard when you have nothing worthwhile or good in your life. Very little family, hardly any friends, no girlfriend or even female acquaintances, no job, career or life goals.

I think I have social anxiety too. I really wanted to study Sports Science but I found out it’s for extroverted people so I choose not to as I would feel out of place. People don’t understand what it’s like to have a mental illness.

I’m very introverted and socially awkward which really limits my career choices and will make me do something I don’t really want to be doing which makes me even more confused.

I don’t want to be this way and I would love to be an extrovert I actually love being around people that I know and am comfortable around. It’s just when I have to meet new people,I can be very introverted and socially awkward ,which is making me feel so bad like I said earlier I have zero social life apart from my family.

What do I do? All I can do is ask questions on here to a bunch of strangers who don’t really know, or care too much but I have no one else to turn to, so….
Original post by Anonymous
Hi there I’m a male that just turned 18 and I am completely lost and clueless, which is making me even more depressed and anxious. It’s like I have no direction as to where I’m going in life.

I left school with no GCSEs and got grade 3s in everything. I don’t know what I can even do with those grades tbh. I don’t have anyone to turn to for advice and my parents think I’m lazy.

To top all of this off I have no social life and very few friends because I distanced myself from people. So I’m basically just in my room for the whole day.

I want to live an independent life and not rely on my parents all the time and eventually move out on my own. I feel like a complete loser right now, being an 18 year old that hasn’t accomplished anything and is still living at home with parents. I have no idea how this ended up happening to me maybe I have a mental illness and I need help.

Do I want this life? Of course not, but I don’t know how to change and every day,month,year seems to just pass by and I still have no direction.

I am very frustrated and annoyed with myself too for not changing, but it is very hard when you have nothing worthwhile or good in your life. Very little family, hardly any friends, no girlfriend or even female acquaintances, no job, career or life goals.

I think I have social anxiety too. I really wanted to study Sports Science but I found out it’s for extroverted people so I choose not to as I would feel out of place. People don’t understand what it’s like to have a mental illness.

I’m very introverted and socially awkward which really limits my career choices and will make me do something I don’t really want to be doing which makes me even more confused.

I don’t want to be this way and I would love to be an extrovert I actually love being around people that I know and am comfortable around. It’s just when I have to meet new people,I can be very introverted and socially awkward ,which is making me feel so bad like I said earlier I have zero social life apart from my family.

What do I do? All I can do is ask questions on here to a bunch of strangers who don’t really know, or care too much but I have no one else to turn to, so….

I think the first step would be to try and retake some of your GCSEs as unfortunately regardless of what job you apply for employers want to see some kind of qualifications. Especially English and Mathematics.

I would also encourage you to speak to a careers advisor.
Reply 2
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
I think the first step would be to try and retake some of your GCSEs as unfortunately regardless of what job you apply for employers want to see some kind of qualifications. Especially English and Mathematics.

I would also encourage you to speak to a careers advisor.

Where can I speak to a careers advisor? I’m not in college at the moment
Original post by Anonymous
Where can I speak to a careers advisor? I’m not in college at the moment


Maybe you could try asking your parents/siblings?
Reply 4
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe you could try asking your parents/siblings?

If you’re going to troll at least be good at it. I asked for advice if u can’t give advice don’t reply
Reply 5
Avatar for Jas.acs
Jas.acs
16
Original post by Anonymous
Hi there I’m a male that just turned 18 and I am completely lost and clueless, which is making me even more depressed and anxious. It’s like I have no direction as to where I’m going in life.

I left school with no GCSEs and got grade 3s in everything. I don’t know what I can even do with those grades tbh. I don’t have anyone to turn to for advice and my parents think I’m lazy.

To top all of this off I have no social life and very few friends because I distanced myself from people. So I’m basically just in my room for the whole day.

I want to live an independent life and not rely on my parents all the time and eventually move out on my own. I feel like a complete loser right now, being an 18 year old that hasn’t accomplished anything and is still living at home with parents. I have no idea how this ended up happening to me maybe I have a mental illness and I need help.

Do I want this life? Of course not, but I don’t know how to change and every day,month,year seems to just pass by and I still have no direction.

I am very frustrated and annoyed with myself too for not changing, but it is very hard when you have nothing worthwhile or good in your life. Very little family, hardly any friends, no girlfriend or even female acquaintances, no job, career or life goals.

I think I have social anxiety too. I really wanted to study Sports Science but I found out it’s for extroverted people so I choose not to as I would feel out of place. People don’t understand what it’s like to have a mental illness.

I’m very introverted and socially awkward which really limits my career choices and will make me do something I don’t really want to be doing which makes me even more confused.

I don’t want to be this way and I would love to be an extrovert I actually love being around people that I know and am comfortable around. It’s just when I have to meet new people,I can be very introverted and socially awkward ,which is making me feel so bad like I said earlier I have zero social life apart from my family.

What do I do? All I can do is ask questions on here to a bunch of strangers who don’t really know, or care too much but I have no one else to turn to, so….

I feel like maybe looking at volunteering might help a bit. I did some work experience in a nursing home and I'm quite socially anxious and quiet but going there and talking to the residents and interacting with the staff was really helpful for me and improved my confidence loads. It can also look good for future employers especially if you don't have the necessary qualifications such as GCSE's.

You could also maybe look for a job somewhere like a little café or restaurant or something, some place where it doesn't get too busy and with a small number of staff as that can help with your social anxiety and still increase your skills such as communicating to customers, (also they most likely don't require any qualifications for the job). As well as this you'll be able to make friends, earn money to maybe move out of your parents house, and that work placement can be the first step to finding something else that you'll enjoy doing.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi there I’m a male that just turned 18 and I am completely lost and clueless, which is making me even more depressed and anxious. It’s like I have no direction as to where I’m going in life.

I left school with no GCSEs and got grade 3s in everything. I don’t know what I can even do with those grades tbh. I don’t have anyone to turn to for advice and my parents think I’m lazy.

To top all of this off I have no social life and very few friends because I distanced myself from people. So I’m basically just in my room for the whole day.

I want to live an independent life and not rely on my parents all the time and eventually move out on my own. I feel like a complete loser right now, being an 18 year old that hasn’t accomplished anything and is still living at home with parents. I have no idea how this ended up happening to me maybe I have a mental illness and I need help.

Do I want this life? Of course not, but I don’t know how to change and every day,month,year seems to just pass by and I still have no direction.

I am very frustrated and annoyed with myself too for not changing, but it is very hard when you have nothing worthwhile or good in your life. Very little family, hardly any friends, no girlfriend or even female acquaintances, no job, career or life goals.

I think I have social anxiety too. I really wanted to study Sports Science but I found out it’s for extroverted people so I choose not to as I would feel out of place. People don’t understand what it’s like to have a mental illness.

I’m very introverted and socially awkward which really limits my career choices and will make me do something I don’t really want to be doing which makes me even more confused.

I don’t want to be this way and I would love to be an extrovert I actually love being around people that I know and am comfortable around. It’s just when I have to meet new people,I can be very introverted and socially awkward ,which is making me feel so bad like I said earlier I have zero social life apart from my family.

What do I do? All I can do is ask questions on here to a bunch of strangers who don’t really know, or care too much but I have no one else to turn to, so….

Hello! It's okay to feel down, seeing as you aren't in your best place right now. But it's best to remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. First step towards a recovery in a way would be resit your GCSE's. I get that they can be daunting, but most colleges do allow resits, and I'm sure if you asked around, you'd be good to go.

Or if you don't want to do that, then try part time work? That could get your mind off things, as well as the fact that you'd be learning a few new things?
The first thing I’d do is looking into possibly retaking those GCSEs and getting 4/5s in them at least, especially mathematics and English as employers aren’t going to hire someone who appears on paper to be illiterate and innumerate.

After that, possibly go to the job centre and seek advice there. That or maybe consider possibly self teaching A levels.

A degree isn’t necessary to get you far in life but A levels don’t cost a fortune to complete, just require some oomf and determination and you can do something with them rather than paying 9k a year in tuition fees.

Prior to doing this though, look at what you want to achieve and go from there. There’s still loads you can do. 🙂
Hello,We're in a really similar situation lmao (18 male with 2 GCSEs). Firstly, I would highly recommend going to your doctor in regards to the issues you're experiencing with your mental health. I suffer from GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) and I very recently started anti-anxiety medication which is helping immensely and I already feel a lot better. I would also recommend talking to someone about your mental health issues as I find that this really helps - or even writing your thoughts/issues that are in your head down paper or a journal. Secondly, in regards to your qualifications, there is always a 2nd chance! I left school at 13 due to issues with my mental health, soon I will be completing my GCSEs in a few months (aged 18) and I'm predicted to get 4 GCSEs at grades 6-9 - so in total 6 GCSEs. Then, I'm going to do an Access to Higher Education course, and off to uni in 2023 to study law hopefully! You can go to a college and get your Maths and English GCSE and maybe some sciences, then progress on to L3 ed. There is so much opportunity - even if you've failed the first time around. You can get into a trade such as becoming an electrician, bricklayer, or plumber. Or maybe even become an accountant, nurse, lawyer, police officer. The possibilities are literally endless!! PM me if you need any support! I too have little to no friends haha.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi there I’m a male that just turned 18 and I am completely lost and clueless, which is making me even more depressed and anxious. It’s like I have no direction as to where I’m going in life.

I left school with no GCSEs and got grade 3s in everything. I don’t know what I can even do with those grades tbh. I don’t have anyone to turn to for advice and my parents think I’m lazy.

To top all of this off I have no social life and very few friends because I distanced myself from people. So I’m basically just in my room for the whole day.

I want to live an independent life and not rely on my parents all the time and eventually move out on my own. I feel like a complete loser right now, being an 18 year old that hasn’t accomplished anything and is still living at home with parents. I have no idea how this ended up happening to me maybe I have a mental illness and I need help.

Do I want this life? Of course not, but I don’t know how to change and every day,month,year seems to just pass by and I still have no direction.

I am very frustrated and annoyed with myself too for not changing, but it is very hard when you have nothing worthwhile or good in your life. Very little family, hardly any friends, no girlfriend or even female acquaintances, no job, career or life goals.

I think I have social anxiety too. I really wanted to study Sports Science but I found out it’s for extroverted people so I choose not to as I would feel out of place. People don’t understand what it’s like to have a mental illness.

I’m very introverted and socially awkward which really limits my career choices and will make me do something I don’t really want to be doing which makes me even more confused.

I don’t want to be this way and I would love to be an extrovert I actually love being around people that I know and am comfortable around. It’s just when I have to meet new people,I can be very introverted and socially awkward ,which is making me feel so bad like I said earlier I have zero social life apart from my family.

What do I do? All I can do is ask questions on here to a bunch of strangers who don’t really know, or care too much but I have no one else to turn to, so….


I think the first and best thing to start off with is speaking to a health professional, like a GP, about your social anxiety, and any other issues that you may be currently facing. When I finally spoke to my GP, it helped incredibly and it helped me take a step in the right direction so that I can manage my anxiety better. I think before you think about education, jobs, moving out, etc. it is vital that you put your mental and physical health first, because you will not be able to take exams to show your full potential if your health is not at its best. Speaking to a GP honestly helped me so much, I felt like I had a trusted professional to open up to.

The next step I would advise to take is to slowly start to step outside more, and it does not have to be with lots of people! You can just take a walk alone or perhaps with a close friend. I think regularly doing this will help you build a routine and it will help with your mental health in the long run. Maybe try to be more open with your trusted friends/family.

I think once you start building a basic routine, speaking to professionals, and overall feel at least a little bit better, you can start to think about retaking the core subjects at GCSE. Is there an open college for you to attend? I have colleges near me that accept older students to take their GCSEs again, this will give you a boost of confidence, and also you will be in a better headspace to take them. Once you do that, you can definitely try looking for jobs, but for the time being, focusing on getting the GCSEs. While you are doing this, volunteering might be a nice option to help you get outside and give some help to the community!

I think the most important thing is to take it a step at a time, doing smaller things slowly will eventually build up to a bigger outcome, yes have the long term goal of moving out and studying sports science, but you need to take these smaller steps to help you get to a better place for yourself and your health! I am also 18, and I can completely empathise with your situation; just know that you are not alone and there are MANY professionals that are there for you! Just remember to build things up slowly, and try to get the qualifications that I know you can achieve!!

Best of luck with everything, I absolutely know that you can do it :smile:
Try entry level jobs or volunteering.

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