Is it the end of any chance of friendships and relationships for me?

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SamBarker0202
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I'm 19 and I've just finished sixth form after resitting a year, and I'm planning on going to Uni, however, I had no friends in sixth form and I was wondering if this will affect uni life.

I feel ashamed to say it as I do want friends and a girlfriend, but I'm a loner, every day during year 12 and year 13 I would sit on my own in the library at a computer, often doing nothing and not talking to anyone. I do not go out even though I want to and on the last day of sixth form I did the same thing I always do (sitting on my own embarassingly), whilst others hung out with their mates and had a laugh (which I'm not envious of, I just wish I had confidence to do the same), I was sat alone not knowing what to do with myself and feeling guilty that I made no friends. I am thinking of going to Uni as I feel it potentially could be a fresh start, I'm hoping to maybe become a new person and socialise more and just wipe the slate clean, but I was wondering if anyone else had been in the same situation as me - Struggling to socialise but the feeling with me was because I felt like I was ugly (I am male btw), and I was not confident enough in my looks, even walking through the corridor I would put my head down.

I would just like to know if i can salvage any friendships and relationships at Uni, or is it too late?

And you guessed it, to my shame, I am a Virgin
Last edited by SamBarker0202; 1 month ago
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(Original post by SamBarker0202)
I'm 19 and I've just finished sixth form after resitting a year, and I'm planning on going to Uni, however, I had no friends in sixth form and I was wondering if this will affect uni life.

I feel ashamed to say it as I do want friends and a girlfriend, but I'm a loner, every day during year 12 and year 13 I would sit on my own in the library at a computer, often doing nothing and not talking to anyone. I do not go out even though I want to and on the last day of sixth form I did the same thing I always do (sitting on my own embarassingly), whilst others hung out with their mates and had a laugh (which I'm not envious of, I just wish I had confidence to do the same), I was sat alone not knowing what to do with myself and feeling guilty that I made no friends. I am thinking of going to Uni as I feel it potentially could be a fresh start, I'm hoping to maybe become a new person and socialise more and just wipe the slate clean, but I was wondering if anyone else had been in the same situation as me - Struggling to socialise but the feeling with me was because I felt like I was ugly (I am male btw), and I was not confident enough in my looks, even walking through the corridor I would put my head down.

I would just like to know if i can salvage any friendships and relationships at Uni, or is it too late?
Yes it would be possible to salvage it but do not bank on it though.
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urlocalinmate
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Never too late. Start making small changes. Maybe one a week in order to become more sociable and hopefully achieve what you want, it won't go 100% to plan, so be aware of that, and don't let that make you give up.
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SamBarker0202
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(Original post by urlocalinmate)
Never too late. Start making small changes. Maybe one a week in order to become more sociable and hopefully achieve what you want, it won't go 100% to plan, so be aware of that, and don't let that make you give up.
What changes should I make? I don't know where to start
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urlocalinmate
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(Original post by SamBarker0202)
What changes should I make? I don't know where to start
Not allowing yourself to enter the library would be the perfect start. Also, there's nothing wrong in being a virgin, I'm a virgin myself and have absolutely no concern of what people think of me in that regard.
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SamBarker0202
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(Original post by urlocalinmate)
Not allowing yourself to enter the library would be the perfect start. Also, there's nothing wrong in being a virgin, I'm a virgin myself and have absolutely no concern of what people think of me in that regard.
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes it would be possible to salvage it but do not bank on it though.
Do you have any suggestions on what I could do? I'm paranoid and tend to think people are judging my looks or staring at me
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londonmyst
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Will you be living on campus or in a student only complex?

Uni is a great opportunity to make new friends and start building your life as an independent adult.
But you need to take steps to give people positive first impressions of yourself, demonstrate that you want to make friends suited to your values & lifestyle and show potentially compatible friends what you bring to the table.
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Anonymous #2
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Hey firstly this makes me so sad that you were alone, theres actually A LOT of people who were alone in sixth form which is not a bad thing, Its jsut what it is but it makes me sad no one made the effort to become friends with you. Also at uni you definitely will make friends especially as you say youll be making mroe of an effort. So yes you will every single person had a friend eve those who were extremely quiet and boring. Just bc yu were alone in sixth form doesnt mean youll be alone in sixth form, it usually happens once i your education career. I was alone in secondary not in sixth form adn then again now lol. Were alone during secondary school?
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SamBarker0202
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Will you be living on campus or in a student only complex?

Uni is a great opportunity to make new friends and start building your life as an independent adult.
But you need to take steps to give people positive first impressions of yourself, demonstrate that you want to make friends suited to your values & lifestyle and show potentially compatible friends what you bring to the table.
I'll be living in Student halls at Liverpool John Moore, I am not a bad person it's just that i struggle talking to people due to the overwhelming fear of being seen as weird or ugly - I'm hoping I will change this at uni though
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SamBarker0202
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey firstly this makes me so sad that you were alone, theres actually A LOT of people who were alone in sixth form which is not a bad thing, Its jsut what it is but it makes me sad no one made the effort to become friends with you. Also at uni you definitely will make friends especially as you say youll be making mroe of an effort. So yes you will every single person had a friend eve those who were extremely quiet and boring. Just bc yu were alone in sixth form doesnt mean youll be alone in sixth form, it usually happens once i your education career. I was alone in secondary not in sixth form adn then again now lol. Were alone during secondary school?
I managed being alone, I never showed any emotion yet when you know other people were out with their friends socialising and you were at home it can get to you sometimes, and so by potentially having a fresh start, this is why I'm hoping to go to Uni.
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(Original post by SamBarker0202)
I managed being alone, I never showed any emotion yet when you know other people were out with their friends socialising and you were at home it can get to you sometimes, and so by potentially having a fresh start, this is why I'm hoping to go to Uni.
I cant cope with being alone so well done for that and yes i know what you mean sseing everyone with friends and when you have none, thats always been an issue for me, when i had friends theywere busy with family adn no i dont have any and see everyone out and its caused me to be badly depressed. Youll enjoy uni
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Kerzen
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(Original post by SamBarker0202)
I'll be living in Student halls at Liverpool John Moore, I am not a bad person it's just that i struggle talking to people due to the overwhelming fear of being seen as weird or ugly - I'm hoping I will change this at uni though
Have you firmed your place and booked your accommodation? It sounds very promising.
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Aderinwa
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Maybe before hand try going to the gym or working out or just improving an aspect of yourself that you think may make
You fee more confident
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SamBarker0202
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(Original post by Kerzen)
Have you firmed your place and booked your accommodation? It sounds very promising.
Firmed but haven't booked accommodation yet
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Anonymous #3
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I'm 10 years older than you and am still like that but I'm female. I will never change.
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Kerzen
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(Original post by SamBarker0202)
Firmed but haven't booked accommodation yet
I'm wondering whether you should, given that some of the Halls seem to have sold out.

https://www.ljmu.ac.uk/discover/your...odation/search
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Anonymous #4
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Yeah I have had a similar experience to you. At sixth form I had a couple pals but I didn’t really see much of anyone outside of school. I’m just finishing my first year of uni and I made pals but no one who I speak to / go out with often. I think my time was made harder by covid, but I still made some mistakes. My advice is join a society/ sports team. Even if you’re bad at sport, even if you’ve never tried it before, just go for it. I didn’t do this and I suffered because of it, so my plan is join at the end of this year, ready for next year. If you do this, it’ll make your life so much easier. Also, do volunteer work for your uni, that should be a good way to make proper friends. It’s inevitable that you’re gonna meet people, but the wider you cast your net, the better chance you have of making real friends. Also, don’t put yourself down. I used to hate my physical appearance, but I got over it. Go to the gym, slap on some hair gel/clay, look online for fashion advice, buy some decent clothes (doesn’t have to be Moncler or Gucci) and chin up. Confidence is the most important thing. You just gotta get yourself out there. It’s hard, but sometimes in life you just gotta hold your nose and dive in the deep end. That doesn’t just go for uni, but your entire life.
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