Should I hold onto my friends from highschool or make new ones?

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BigBoiiJay
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I am going off to university soon and have a bit of a dilemma, the friends I currently have all want to go to a stinky university (no offence Aberystwyth), but I want to go to somewhere in a city preferably in England or Scotland. Im worried if I go off on my own I won't be able to make friends and end up alone during those 3 years of my life. Is it true you meet your true friends in university? Or is that a bunch of crap and should I hold onto my current friends and follow them to Aberystwyth?
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carrotstar
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(Original post by BigBoiiJay)
I am going off to university soon and have a bit of a dilemma, the friends I currently have all want to go to a stinky university (no offence Aberystwyth), but I want to go to somewhere in a city preferably in England or Scotland. Im worried if I go off on my own I won't be able to make friends and end up alone during those 3 years of my life. Is it true you meet your true friends in university? Or is that a bunch of crap and should I hold onto my current friends and follow them to Aberystwyth?
My two best friends from school didn’t go to university, and they’re still two of my best friends. But I also met a third best friend at university. I actually found them online in a Facebook group for my course before I even arrived so we had some conversations over messenger beforehand, and then we were pretty much glued to each other for the following 4 years 🤣 Now we actually work for the same employer (though in different departments) so I get to see her every day 😊 And although I live further away from my school friends, we make the effort to meet up, even through the pandemic.

If your friends matter to you and vice versa, you will make it work.

Lots of people go to different universities and have to make new friends - you should be choosing where you want to go for it’s course and opportunities, not just because you’re friends want to go there!

You will definitely make friends - just get to know your flatmates to start with, chat to people on your course, take part in icebreakers, join a society or two which align with your interests, and you’ll soon find people you vibe with.
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BigBoiiJay
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(Original post by carrotstar)
My two best friends from school didn’t go to university, and they’re still two of my best friends. But I also met a third best friend at university. I actually found them online in a Facebook group for my course before I even arrived so we had some conversations over messenger beforehand, and then we were pretty much glued to each other for the following 4 years 🤣 Now we actually work for the same employer (though in different departments) so I get to see her every day 😊 And although I live further away from my school friends, we make the effort to meet up, even through the pandemic.

If your friends matter to you and vice versa, you will make it work.

Lots of people go to different universities and have to make new friends - you should be choosing where you want to go for it’s course and opportunities, not just because you’re friends want to go there!

You will definitely make friends - just get to know your flatmates to start with, chat to people on your course, take part in icebreakers, join a society or two which align with your interests, and you’ll soon find people you vibe with.
A part of me does kind of want to cut myself off from them, being around them is kind of a toxic environment. They all conglomerate around this one guy in the group who is kind of a ****, but im just terrified of being alone because of this decision. Do you think I should just cut myself off from them entirely after sixth form?
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PhoenixFortune
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(Original post by BigBoiiJay)
I am going off to university soon and have a bit of a dilemma, the friends I currently have all want to go to a stinky university (no offence Aberystwyth), but I want to go to somewhere in a city preferably in England or Scotland. Im worried if I go off on my own I won't be able to make friends and end up alone during those 3 years of my life. Is it true you meet your true friends in university? Or is that a bunch of crap and should I hold onto my current friends and follow them to Aberystwyth?
Never go to a university purely because all your current friends are going there. The odds are you'll all grow apart anyway, as you're likely to be on different courses and move in different social circles. Choose a university based on the course, facilities, location etc.

I wouldn't put unnecessary pressure on yourself to make 'friends for life' at university, it's best to be relaxed about making friends without worrying about how close you are or whether your old friends are forgetting you. You'll have to put in effort to both find friends and keep in contact with the ones you have at home, but that's something you'll have to do for now on in life anyway.
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Lancaster Student Ambassador
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Hi BigBoiiJay
This is a good question. I think everyone’s experience of making friends at university is different. I really enjoyed meeting new people at university and making friends with flatmates, course mates etc. And I also recommend joining a society to give you a chance to meet people with similar interests to you. That being said I also kept in touch with my friends at home, although we wouldn’t see each other all the time we could still stay in touch and it just made it even better when we could reunite like when we went home for the holidays or if we visited each other. In terms of ending up alone at university look for opportunities to make friends eg volunteering, part time roles, get involved in clubs and society’s, events etc. My university also has a transitions team who sometimes buddy schemes which can help students here settle in.
From my experience a lot of people felt the same way and were moving away from home for the first time and wanted to make new friends. So hopefully that reassured you that others may feel the same way.
Good luck at university!
Lancaster university student ambassador Holly
Last edited by Lancaster Student Ambassador; 1 month ago
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lucyyy12
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(Original post by BigBoiiJay)
I am going off to university soon and have a bit of a dilemma, the friends I currently have all want to go to a stinky university (no offence Aberystwyth), but I want to go to somewhere in a city preferably in England or Scotland. Im worried if I go off on my own I won't be able to make friends and end up alone during those 3 years of my life. Is it true you meet your true friends in university? Or is that a bunch of crap and should I hold onto my current friends and follow them to Aberystwyth?
most people I know stayed friends with the friends they had in school, and made some new ones. Also met people at work.
I’d say stay in touch with your school friends and make an effort to make more at uni
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University of Strathclyde
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(Original post by BigBoiiJay)
I am going off to university soon and have a bit of a dilemma, the friends I currently have all want to go to a stinky university (no offence Aberystwyth), but I want to go to somewhere in a city preferably in England or Scotland. Im worried if I go off on my own I won't be able to make friends and end up alone during those 3 years of my life. Is it true you meet your true friends in university? Or is that a bunch of crap and should I hold onto my current friends and follow them to Aberystwyth?
Hey BigBoiiJay Great to hear you're considering pushing yourself out of your comfort zone! Choosing where you want to go to uni is a big decision and for some people staying close to home is what works for them, and for others they're desperate to get away. No decision is the wrong decision as it's *always* a personal one! So if you think you'll do better elsewhere I'd certainly encourage you to research your options in other places and find somewhere you'll fit in.

Starting at uni on a course you've chosen and in an area you've chosen already means that you have something in common with the people you'll be starting with. You won't be the only one moving there and you'll meet loads of likeminded people that you'll love getting to know throughout your time at uni You'll still have your home friends, but you'll form a new group of different friends and that's really exciting. I'd say these friendships will likely be a bit different (as you're older than when you met your childhood friends, and you're choosing to do a certain subject rather than being put in a classroom you didn't always choose to be in for example) but that doesn't mean your original home friends mean any less.

I still have my group of 'home' friends (albeit in a smaller group now than we were when we left school) but I also have some brilliant uni friends that I can call on for anything. Think of it in a positive way- you'll be lucky enough to have a wider social circle and your home friends will *love* having a room to crash in for the weekend in a big city!

Hope that helps a bit! I definitely say pick the choice that *you* want - not anyone else.

- Caitlin
Official University of Strathclyde Rep
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carrotstar
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(Original post by BigBoiiJay)
A part of me does kind of want to cut myself off from them, being around them is kind of a toxic environment. They all conglomerate around this one guy in the group who is kind of a ****, but im just terrified of being alone because of this decision. Do you think I should just cut myself off from them entirely after sixth form?
If that’s the way you feel, then definitely. Use university as a new start. By chance, there may be a few people on campus you recognise, but thousands and thousands of other new people to get to know. Throw yourself into it, and you will find people you really gel with without a problem.
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barnet1471
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(Original post by BigBoiiJay)
A part of me does kind of want to cut myself off from them, being around them is kind of a toxic environment. They all conglomerate around this one guy in the group who is kind of a ****, but im just terrified of being alone because of this decision. Do you think I should just cut myself off from them entirely after sixth form?
Given your views on mid-Wales I would not blame them for cutting you off.

Many friendships at 17/18 years old do not last, nothing wrong with that.
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Thisismyunitsr
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(Original post by BigBoiiJay)
I am going off to university soon and have a bit of a dilemma, the friends I currently have all want to go to a stinky university (no offence Aberystwyth), but I want to go to somewhere in a city preferably in England or Scotland. Im worried if I go off on my own I won't be able to make friends and end up alone during those 3 years of my life. Is it true you meet your true friends in university? Or is that a bunch of crap and should I hold onto my current friends and follow them to Aberystwyth?
You do realise you can keep your friends from school and your friends from university? I have both friends from school and university and the friends from school are actually more reliable than my friends from university!

I finished a year long course at university (not a degree) five years ago and haven’t seen any of my university friends since then.
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University of Derby
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(Original post by BigBoiiJay)
I am going off to university soon and have a bit of a dilemma, the friends I currently have all want to go to a stinky university (no offence Aberystwyth), but I want to go to somewhere in a city preferably in England or Scotland. Im worried if I go off on my own I won't be able to make friends and end up alone during those 3 years of my life. Is it true you meet your true friends in university? Or is that a bunch of crap and should I hold onto my current friends and follow them to Aberystwyth?
Hi BigBoiiJay

I definitely think you shouldn't decide on a university just as it's where your friends are going - the great thing about moving to university is a lot of people are in the same boat and have moved away from their friends at home, so there's usually plenty of opportunities to meet people and make friends, such as in your halls, sports clubs, societies etc!

I moved away for university and found it great as I made lots of new friends at university, and then saw my friends from home whenever I was back during holidays

I hope this helps!
^Emily
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Prettyfrock
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So why can't you do both?
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