sl4tforL
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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hey so im just gonna get into it.. im 15 and ive always thought my mum and dad are in an unhealthy relationship and my mum treats my dad poorly but idk give me ur opinions

He is always the one to pay for everything, meals, school things, pocket money, mortgage, car insurance, mine and my brothers phones, our bus fares etc etc. He has the better job and gets paid more than my mum but still like...

She is very damaging to my mental health, she makes me feel unloved and i know i can be troubling at times but the way she treats me i dont even feel like shes my mum, she never asks me how my day was, says hey when she comes back, ask me how school was its tiring to make her proud, she seems careless, she is lazy, she watches tv all day unless shes at work.

I just know she stunted my 16 year old brothers confidence, she knew he was scared to stand up to her in arguments yet she did it anyway, he always needs reassurance from people like my dad and even sometimes me but he never goes to her because whenever we do she turns it into an argument.

My dad knows all of this therefore he tries to make us as happy as he can, he always reassures us, helps us, makes sure we are okay etc. I feel so bad for him sometimes because even I know as a 15 year old he deserves so much more. He honestly deserves the world. He deserves a women who loves the family and actually shows it, helps pay for things, is kind, respectful etc. It breaks my heart because I think he knows it too but they are ''too in love' but really I feel like he is scared to leave her because hes not confident himself, he never has been. His mum (my nan) sometimes talks about this too, she shares the same views as me i know it.

I feel like maybe my mum is using him? I know she loves him for sure but still.
I just cant, i hate the way she treats me my brother and my dad it hurts.

MORE DETAIL--- edit

I realised i only really mentioned money between my mum and dad. They also constantly argue about things involving me and my brother, my dad thinks it is unfair how we are treated yet he never gets a say in any of this because everything is her OWN way and it frustrates my dad hugely and I feel like he feels responsible for the way we feel for not being able to do anything. He shouldn't have to feel this way, he does everything for the family and never even has time to spend on himself. My dad sometimes talks to me about how he wishes my mum would chip in money for things such as car insurance, house repairs idk etc.. But she just spends her money on clothes, unneeded items etc. She knows she has full control of the house and she thrives of that.

I got a comment mentioning maybe it is the way my parents manage finance (thankyou for your reply <33) but this isnt it, my dad knows he spends far too much on things he shouldn't be, he bought her a huge shed, almost like a cabin just for her to work in, 16 grand. She didnt pay a penny, my dad was upset about this but he did it anyway because i feel as if hes controlled by her and he has too much of a heart to say no, my mum also got him to pay for some Lipo Suction surgery to help her lose weight, she even THEN after having a sh!! load payed out for her, continued to eat to get back to her original size (she hasnt got an ed) and my dads mother was furious about this. She wont pay for school trips, deasil, bills everything. My dad complains but she doesn't care.

She also gets him to be in charge of things such as appointments for example, my brothers type 1 diabeties and my orthodontist appointments. He always calls, always has to miss work to take us to them and I feel so bad. She puts in no effort unless its for herself

I just wish my dad could see his worth is much more rewarding than what hes getting.
Last edited by sl4tforL; 1 month ago
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Report 1 month ago
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(Original post by sl4tforL)
hey so im just gonna get into it.. im 15 and ive always thought my mum and dad are in an unhealthy relationship and my mum treats my dad poorly but idk give me ur opinions

He is always the one to pay for everything, meals, school things, pocket money, mortgage, car insurance, mine and my brothers phones, our bus fares etc etc. He has the better job and gets paid more than my mum but still like...

She is very damaging to my mental health, she makes me feel unloved and i know i can be troubling at times but the way she treats me i dont even feel like shes my mum, she never asks me how my day was, says hey when she comes back, ask me how school was its tiring to make her proud, she seems careless, she is lazy, she watches tv all day unless shes at work.

I just know she stunted my 16 year old brothers confidence, she knew he was scared to stand up to her in arguments yet she did it anyway, he always needs reassurance from people like my dad and even sometimes me but he never goes to her because whenever we do she turns it into an argument.

My dad knows all of this therefore he tries to make us as happy as he can, he always reassures us, helps us, makes sure we are okay etc. I feel so bad for him sometimes because even I know as a 15 year old he deserves so much more. He honestly deserves the world. He deserves a women who loves the family and actually shows it, helps pay for things, is kind, respectful etc. It breaks my heart because I think he knows it too but they are ''too in love' but really I feel like he is scared to leave her because hes not confident himself, he never has been. His mum (my nan) sometimes talks about this too, she shares the same views as me i know it.

I feel like maybe my mum is using him? I know she loves him for sure but still.
I just cant, i hate the way she treats me my brother and my dad it hurts.
I understand the part about how you and your brother feel and I’m sorry you guys had to go through this, children deserve equal love from both parents. That’s what we require a lot since we’re most vulnerable with them.

But idk your parents’ relationship, someone may have much better to say about it. But the only thing you’ve said about their relationship is the money. You’re only 15, maybe your parents have their own way of managing finances? Some older children than you don’t know either how their parents manage their finances. Some like to keep it private between themselves and just aim to give their children the best of the bets if that make sense
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sl4tforL
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I understand the part about how you and your brother feel and I’m sorry you guys had to go through this, children deserve equal love from both parents. That’s what we require a lot since we’re most vulnerable with them.

But idk your parents’ relationship, someone may have much better to say about it. But the only thing you’ve said about their relationship is the money. You’re only 15, maybe your parents have their own way of managing finances? Some older children than you don’t know either how their parents manage their finances. Some like to keep it private between themselves and just aim to give their children the best of the bets if th
Hello, please read my edit <3
Last edited by sl4tforL; 1 month ago
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