Boyfriend Grosses Me Out

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I would really like some advice on this before I bring it up to my boyfriend so I'll just jump into it. Going anon because Im kind of embarrassed by some of the things I'm saying because I know it probably looks worse on me for not speaking up about thing.
*this will be a long post so I apologise*

Ok so I have been officially dating my boyfriend for about 2 months, almost 3 months I think, we casually dated for about a month and a half before being official, but even then he did things I thought were gross but just put down to me being prissy.
A list of stuff he does I find gross:
- He farts in front of me all of the time. I know it's natural and normal to fart (I fart too but not around him) but he does it loudly and purposely, like he forces it out. Its always really loud, he will do it while I'm talking to him too, like it doesn't matter what the conversation might be, serious or light hearted or whatever, he will force a fart out and its always really loud and usually smells awful. He tries to fart under the covers and put my head under sometimes too and I do not like it. He has also purposely got up and farted on me which I was repulsed by. I pretended to laugh it off but I was fuming inside and really grossed out because I was eating at the time. I don't ever touch his butt or like to be stood or sat behind him because he will just force it out and to be honest, it kills my attraction to him. Even on our very first date he farted loudly. He says farts are funny but I don't find it funny at all and I have told him plenty of times I don't like it when he just forces them out constantly all of the time, regardless of what we are doing. He has told me he's been in 2 minds whether to fart during sex or when I have been going down on him and has chosen not to, so I fear its only a matter of time before he starts doing that too.

- His hygiene doesn't seem to be as good as it should be. I'm not saying I want him to be scrubbed from head to toe every single day or I won't go near him, but while he does have long baths, he washes himself quite quickly and doesnt really "go in between the cracks" if you get me. His ears aren't very clean and he doesn't brush his teeth on a night time. He doesn't wash his face on a morning either so his eyes are crusted with sleep.

- I should also mention one of the biggest issues I have with his hygiene is that he leaves poop stains on things. Like his bedsheets, his duvet, his underwear, his pj bottoms. I noticed this the very first time we slept together and I wondered if my eyes were deceiving me but no. I have tried to figure out how and why it keeps happening and from what I think I may have narrowed it down to is that he doesn't wipe properly (even though he insists he does) and he doesn't thoroughly wash his butt when bathing (I have seen this first hand).
He has a broad back and can't always reach behind him so I am guessing his ineffective method of wiping is down to this maybe. I don't know. His excuse is always "I'm hairy" but so are the men in my family and they don't have this problem. We have had to compromise on him wearing Pj's to bed (he usually sleeps nude) when he is at mine so he doesn't ruin my sheets but he says if we moved in together he would be sleeping nude again and if have to get used to it and that he would change the sheets if he ruined them.
His attitude about it is very laid back and "I don't care" is a common saying I hear from him about things. It seems hygiene and generally cleanliness of his room etc are things he doesn't deem important and so doesnt care. He doesn't vacuum his room and his bed is always a mess, like no duvet cover, no sheet, no pillowcases.

It's only been 2 months of official dating but it already feels to me like we're an old married couple. Not just be suse of the issues I've mentioned but in general I think it moved a bit too fast for my liking. I've tried to dig my heels in to slow the fast progress of the relationship but he seems happy to plow ahead. I'm only a year younger than him but I feel like he has an "old" head and is happy to settle down at the first opportunity, but I'm not. He has already said the L word but I'm nowhere near for that yet.
I just wonder if this is him not feeling the need to put effort in anymore. I will talk to him about it but I'd like to gain any ideas of the best way to go about it.
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Bio 7
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#2
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#2
If he can't even clean himself dump him. I feel like I need to shower for an hour after reading this.

How is he getting faecal stains on bedding and being blasé about it?!
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Anonymous #2
#3
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Yeah dump him 😭😭
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Mr T 999
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#4
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#4
Dump him. You're dating an immature child not a grown man. How can someone be that gross smh, he belongs in the sewers.
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YaliaV123
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#5
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#5
How old is he? That’s disgusting.
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hungrysalamander
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#6
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Tell him about it and if he doesn't change his habits within a week then dump him. Make sure that he also knows that.
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ReadingMum
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#7
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#7
this one is not a keeper - end it now with this immature boy. I am surprised you stuck it this long. Most people are on their best behaviour in the early days in order to impress their new partner - if this is his best I really wouldn't want to experience his worst!
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bones-mccoy
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#8
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Just reading this made my stomach turn. It depends how important hygiene is to you in a partner, there's no shame in it being a deal breaker. It certainly would be for me.
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karl pilkington
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#9
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poop stains lol
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vicvic38
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#10
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Honestly once your partner starts to gross you out it's over. Wouldn't matter if you were expecting too much of him, you can't be romanitcally with someone who you can't stand to be around because they disgust you.
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ashtolga23
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would really like some advice on this before I bring it up to my boyfriend so I'll just jump into it. Going anon because Im kind of embarrassed by some of the things I'm saying because I know it probably looks worse on me for not speaking up about thing.
*this will be a long post so I apologise*

Ok so I have been officially dating my boyfriend for about 2 months, almost 3 months I think, we casually dated for about a month and a half before being official, but even then he did things I thought were gross but just put down to me being prissy.
A list of stuff he does I find gross:
- He farts in front of me all of the time. I know it's natural and normal to fart (I fart too but not around him) but he does it loudly and purposely, like he forces it out. Its always really loud, he will do it while I'm talking to him too, like it doesn't matter what the conversation might be, serious or light hearted or whatever, he will force a fart out and its always really loud and usually smells awful. He tries to fart under the covers and put my head under sometimes too and I do not like it. He has also purposely got up and farted on me which I was repulsed by. I pretended to laugh it off but I was fuming inside and really grossed out because I was eating at the time. I don't ever touch his butt or like to be stood or sat behind him because he will just force it out and to be honest, it kills my attraction to him. Even on our very first date he farted loudly. He says farts are funny but I don't find it funny at all and I have told him plenty of times I don't like it when he just forces them out constantly all of the time, regardless of what we are doing. He has told me he's been in 2 minds whether to fart during sex or when I have been going down on him and has chosen not to, so I fear its only a matter of time before he starts doing that too.

- His hygiene doesn't seem to be as good as it should be. I'm not saying I want him to be scrubbed from head to toe every single day or I won't go near him, but while he does have long baths, he washes himself quite quickly and doesnt really "go in between the cracks" if you get me. His ears aren't very clean and he doesn't brush his teeth on a night time. He doesn't wash his face on a morning either so his eyes are crusted with sleep.

- I should also mention one of the biggest issues I have with his hygiene is that he leaves poop stains on things. Like his bedsheets, his duvet, his underwear, his pj bottoms. I noticed this the very first time we slept together and I wondered if my eyes were deceiving me but no. I have tried to figure out how and why it keeps happening and from what I think I may have narrowed it down to is that he doesn't wipe properly (even though he insists he does) and he doesn't thoroughly wash his butt when bathing (I have seen this first hand).
He has a broad back and can't always reach behind him so I am guessing his ineffective method of wiping is down to this maybe. I don't know. His excuse is always "I'm hairy" but so are the men in my family and they don't have this problem. We have had to compromise on him wearing Pj's to bed (he usually sleeps nude) when he is at mine so he doesn't ruin my sheets but he says if we moved in together he would be sleeping nude again and if have to get used to it and that he would change the sheets if he ruined them.
His attitude about it is very laid back and "I don't care" is a common saying I hear from him about things. It seems hygiene and generally cleanliness of his room etc are things he doesn't deem important and so doesnt care. He doesn't vacuum his room and his bed is always a mess, like no duvet cover, no sheet, no pillowcases.

It's only been 2 months of official dating but it already feels to me like we're an old married couple. Not just be suse of the issues I've mentioned but in general I think it moved a bit too fast for my liking. I've tried to dig my heels in to slow the fast progress of the relationship but he seems happy to plow ahead. I'm only a year younger than him but I feel like he has an "old" head and is happy to settle down at the first opportunity, but I'm not. He has already said the L word but I'm nowhere near for that yet.
I just wonder if this is him not feeling the need to put effort in anymore. I will talk to him about it but I'd like to gain any ideas of the best way to go about it.
I know some girls who would laugh at the first in particular, but it sounds like you might not really have compatible humour. Give him an ultimatum, either he changes these things or you can't continue the relationship.
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Anonymous #3
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Well at least u have someone who loves u
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jademunnelly
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#13
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Hi lovely, it is completely normal for your boyfriend to do things that gross you out, they are men at the end of the day.
With the farting I would tell him just to not take the piss as much. Farts tend to be a lot funnier to lads rather than girls, you need to be honest and say you don't find them as funny as he does and ask him to not make it a big deal and to just fart and get over it. It may just be his humour as well. Unfortunately this isn't something that you can stop, you can only ask him to not be so crude about them in front of you.
With the hygiene, have you bought him smellies and bodywash etc before as a gift? If not maybe try it to subtly hint you want him to take care of himself a bit more? A lot of people have different hygiene routines, loads of people don't brush their teeth before bed or have a shower every day, it is everyone's personal choice. You could say I'm going to brush my teeth now do you want to come do yours? Point out the crust and say you got some sleep/crust/whatever in your eyes. As long as he isn't absolutely minging it should be ok.
With the poop, this is not good. This is definitely a red flag and this one I do think you either should sort it out or leave because do you really want to share poop stained bed sheets for the rest of your life?
If he isn't willing to help himself then maybe you need to leave girl

(Original post by Anonymous)
I would really like some advice on this before I bring it up to my boyfriend so I'll just jump into it. Going anon because Im kind of embarrassed by some of the things I'm saying because I know it probably looks worse on me for not speaking up about thing.
*this will be a long post so I apologise*

Ok so I have been officially dating my boyfriend for about 2 months, almost 3 months I think, we casually dated for about a month and a half before being official, but even then he did things I thought were gross but just put down to me being prissy.
A list of stuff he does I find gross:
- He farts in front of me all of the time. I know it's natural and normal to fart (I fart too but not around him) but he does it loudly and purposely, like he forces it out. Its always really loud, he will do it while I'm talking to him too, like it doesn't matter what the conversation might be, serious or light hearted or whatever, he will force a fart out and its always really loud and usually smells awful. He tries to fart under the covers and put my head under sometimes too and I do not like it. He has also purposely got up and farted on me which I was repulsed by. I pretended to laugh it off but I was fuming inside and really grossed out because I was eating at the time. I don't ever touch his butt or like to be stood or sat behind him because he will just force it out and to be honest, it kills my attraction to him. Even on our very first date he farted loudly. He says farts are funny but I don't find it funny at all and I have told him plenty of times I don't like it when he just forces them out constantly all of the time, regardless of what we are doing. He has told me he's been in 2 minds whether to fart during sex or when I have been going down on him and has chosen not to, so I fear its only a matter of time before he starts doing that too.

- His hygiene doesn't seem to be as good as it should be. I'm not saying I want him to be scrubbed from head to toe every single day or I won't go near him, but while he does have long baths, he washes himself quite quickly and doesnt really "go in between the cracks" if you get me. His ears aren't very clean and he doesn't brush his teeth on a night time. He doesn't wash his face on a morning either so his eyes are crusted with sleep.

- I should also mention one of the biggest issues I have with his hygiene is that he leaves poop stains on things. Like his bedsheets, his duvet, his underwear, his pj bottoms. I noticed this the very first time we slept together and I wondered if my eyes were deceiving me but no. I have tried to figure out how and why it keeps happening and from what I think I may have narrowed it down to is that he doesn't wipe properly (even though he insists he does) and he doesn't thoroughly wash his butt when bathing (I have seen this first hand).
He has a broad back and can't always reach behind him so I am guessing his ineffective method of wiping is down to this maybe. I don't know. His excuse is always "I'm hairy" but so are the men in my family and they don't have this problem. We have had to compromise on him wearing Pj's to bed (he usually sleeps nude) when he is at mine so he doesn't ruin my sheets but he says if we moved in together he would be sleeping nude again and if have to get used to it and that he would change the sheets if he ruined them.
His attitude about it is very laid back and "I don't care" is a common saying I hear from him about things. It seems hygiene and generally cleanliness of his room etc are things he doesn't deem important and so doesnt care. He doesn't vacuum his room and his bed is always a mess, like no duvet cover, no sheet, no pillowcases.

It's only been 2 months of official dating but it already feels to me like we're an old married couple. Not just be suse of the issues I've mentioned but in general I think it moved a bit too fast for my liking. I've tried to dig my heels in to slow the fast progress of the relationship but he seems happy to plow ahead. I'm only a year younger than him but I feel like he has an "old" head and is happy to settle down at the first opportunity, but I'm not. He has already said the L word but I'm nowhere near for that yet.
I just wonder if this is him not feeling the need to put effort in anymore. I will talk to him about it but I'd like to gain any ideas of the best way to go about it.
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BenK64
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#14
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Dump his farty ass ASAP
Last edited by BenK64; 1 month ago
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miser
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#15
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Man that's so gross... Can't believe you weren't out of there the moment you started finding poo on things.
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Anonymous #4
#16
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#16
When you say "old head" do you mean a 70 year old who has problems with personal care?

He is disgusting, most mature lads do not behave like this, you need to raise your standards and speak up. He is showing himself and you no respect.
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Anonymous #5
#17
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As a hairy guy i can confirm that poop gets into the hair down there and is much much harder to clean and takes a lot of time. I have a simple solution tho. Shave your butt. (Advise for the bf) I do it because i dont want to spend 20 additional minutes cleaning after each time i poop. When it comes to farting set a boundry. He either respects it or he shouldnt be your boyfriend. It is the same with any other boundry. Cleaning... this one is probably going to take the longest to change as being the way he is he learnt not to care about it. Otherwise he would beat himself up for it. Tell him to do try to do it a bit better and if he does that tell him you like him clean more or sth. Give positive reinforcment so he likes to be clean and seen as attractive by his gf. Best of luck to you and respect your boundries.
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Final Fantasy
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Please remind us why you're even with this disgusting guy? It's not like he has any self-respect, perhaps you don't either?
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MaeB.88
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#19
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Boys are gross, get use to it or get rid. 2/3 months can quickly turn into 2/3 years in the blink of an eye! Also, people don’t change because they’re told to…he may do, for a week or so but then he’ll revert to his slobbish ways. My advice, if there’s is any doubt this early on, walk away.
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urlocalinmate
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Jesus Christ...
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