Relationship issues

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cupidangel
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So there's this guy. We've known each other for almost 3 years. We were kids when we started dating and neither of us really liked each other that much but of course as kids we said ' I love you' to each other. We grew up, became more mature and well, he went away out of state to study in a boarding school. He did some stupid **** before going, almost like cheating. I thought he had changed but he was still the same. So i broke up with him. We talked a few months later,everything seemed a bit settled with a talk again. He asked for my number because he got a new phone and all the number were gone. I wasn't in mood that day so I told him that I can't send it right now, something bad happened. He ignored and blocked me. A few months later, I started crying over him. Missing him, I texted him on his birthday, but because he blocked me, he couldn't see it. I went on like this for a week until I told my friend and she texted him, telling him I got the corona virus, which I actually did, but our plan was to see if he still cared. Right as my friend told him, he called me. We talked. He said I love you. I felt myself melt. I said it too. We started talking again. This time, differently, we never talked about kissing each other or something like that but this time we did. I wanted to let go of the boundaries, the shyness and I told him, let's communicate for real so it works this time. He said okay and we talked to each other and asked questions about every thing. Before, I never let myself fall for him so badly, I never cried over him, I never missed him so much. There were boundaries, I showed him I didn't care that much, but I did. He knew it. This time, I cut all those boundaries, cried over him, missed him so much it bothered me all the time. But the more we made conversation the lesser he seemed to talk to me. He came online frequently before, but now he barely has time for me. He barely comes online. Sometimes even if he does, he won't see my message or reply. But he'll be online. It bothered me. Once again, I cried at night over this. Next day, we talked again, about sexual pleasure. It was a 8 min conversation and he went offline again when it was his turn to ask me something.I told him 'I swear if you just went offline, don't bother texting or talking to me". He saw it, and didn't reply. I just felt like he took it seriously. That's when I got mad, and sad. I thought, I'll let it go, he'll come back. But he didn't for the entire day. He came online, but didn't text me. Right as I opened up completely, let go of everything, he breaks it like that. And that hurts. Every single time I think he's gonna change but doesn't. It drives me insane, I want to leave him, but I can't. Can you please give me some advice, I would really, really appreciate it.
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Justaboutalive
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#2
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#2
You really should cut contact with this guy. Do what is best for your health, he's making you upset more than making you happy, and he has shown he isn't going to change.
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CaptainDuckie
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#3
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You need to realise duration you’ve known someone means nothing if the actions aren’t adding up.

It’s just like me having a basketball for 3 years, I can play with it all I want but the time it starts deflating, the duration I had it for means nothing, it passes its expiration date (in other words). So I can’t play with it again...


Same thing is happening here. Just because you know him for 3 years does not mean he will make you at your happiest. He’s ignoring you after you show him the slightest interest, even after he blocked you - you still ran back to him. Why?

I echo the above poster. In the meantime, find someone new to distract yourself from him. That’s the only best advice I can give here.
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anosmianAcrimony
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It sounds like you're overly dependent on and invested in getting attention from him. But that's never going to be a good foundation for your happiness - he seems basically unreliable. He's played with your feelings in the past and is continuing to do so.

My recommendation would be to get rid of him, cut him off completely, and at least for the moment, don't replace him. Instead, take some time out of dating and looking for a partner, and focus on loving yourself. Develop a bit more emotional independence, do things you enjoy, put joy and effort into your work or your studies, and try to get to the point where you're happy without needing attention or validation from a romantic partner. Then, if you want to, you could think about dating again, and you'll find yourself on a much more even playing field. When someone like this guy does you wrong, you will be more able to recognise that and cut them off more easily because you can be perfectly happy single anyway.

Remember that you deserve to be happy, and only accept the company of people who consistently give you what you deserve
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Surnia
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I thought you said you'd matured, but you are both playing silly mind games and don't really care for each other. End it.
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