Please some advice :( pleaseeee dont ignore this post

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Anonymous #1
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I have always been kind to every person in my school I am known as the kindest in my group. But with that I find it hard to talk to boys the way my friends easily do and often I'm left to the side and people don't sometimes know my name, its so embarrassing especially in front of my friends (when everyone knows them).

I try so hard and it's always so awkward when my friends are talking to boys and i try to join in and they just look at me like what have you just said, when i say something stupid. The thing with them is most of the time they are amazing friends but they are boy crazy and i want to talk to boys too. I wish i was more confident and better looking. I hate it and the the other day this boy in my school (whilst sat down in front of alllll my friends) said shut up no one even likes you.

Then said he was joking bc everyone looked at him but then later said that it was the truth about me. I tried so hard to ignore it but it was embarrassing i felt like crying and i felt my face going red, but i tried to brush it off like it was nothing, until i went home and broke down

even worse when i was on call with my friends later my friend mentioned it again to my other friends who weren't there and there was an awkward silence (i wanted a hole to swallow me up). Why can't i be better i put myself out there. I honestly try and my friends are constantly like you should talk to boys more bc u seem bored when we talk to them and ur just stood there silent.

The thing is that im fine with girls and making friends even then sometimes im a little bit awkward (not really tho). I wouldnt say i am a loner at all in fact im friends with a lotttt of girls in my school but it just upsets me.

No boy has ever had a crush on me they way my friends talk about it. Im the only one and i wish i could be pretty and confident and talented. I worry about people not knowing my name and only my friends etc. Idk what to do. I have anxiety as well so i get really nervous and overthink I love my friends but sometimes i wish i had that one best friend u see people have.
U know the part of the family kind of type, im never anyones number one i feel like im just used in my friend group for when someone is lonely and then when they are fine again they just leave. I want to be someones number one like i would be chosen first or partners in a project not the odd one out. I just dont know what to do i hate highschool. I have been in soooo many friendship groups it never works out i have been bullied before (not now) i have been happy i have been just there in the back in the classroom.

Im scared of being seen as a loner but most people would say that i'm not.
Although i am grateful for my friends rn i just need advice.
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summerholliday
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have always been kind to every person in my school I am known as the kindest in my group. But with that I find it hard to talk to boys the way my friends easily do and often I'm left to the side and people don't sometimes know my name, its so embarrassing especially in front of my friends (when everyone knows them).

I try so hard and it's always so awkward when my friends are talking to boys and i try to join in and they just look at me like what have you just said, when i say something stupid. The thing with them is most of the time they are amazing friends but they are boy crazy and i want to talk to boys too. I wish i was more confident and better looking. I hate it and the the other day this boy in my school (whilst sat down in front of alllll my friends) said shut up no one even likes you.

Then said he was joking bc everyone looked at him but then later said that it was the truth about me. I tried so hard to ignore it but it was embarrassing i felt like crying and i felt my face going red, but i tried to brush it off like it was nothing, until i went home and broke down

even worse when i was on call with my friends later my friend mentioned it again to my other friends who weren't there and there was an awkward silence (i wanted a hole to swallow me up). Why can't i be better i put myself out there. I honestly try and my friends are constantly like you should talk to boys more bc u seem bored when we talk to them and ur just stood there silent.

The thing is that im fine with girls and making friends even then sometimes im a little bit awkward (not really tho). I wouldnt say i am a loner at all in fact im friends with a lotttt of girls in my school but it just upsets me.

No boy has ever had a crush on me they way my friends talk about it. Im the only one and i wish i could be pretty and confident and talented. I worry about people not knowing my name and only my friends etc. Idk what to do. I have anxiety as well so i get really nervous and overthink I love my friends but sometimes i wish i had that one best friend u see people have.
U know the part of the family kind of type, im never anyones number one i feel like im just used in my friend group for when someone is lonely and then when they are fine again they just leave. I want to be someones number one like i would be chosen first or partners in a project not the odd one out. I just dont know what to do i hate highschool. I have been in soooo many friendship groups it never works out i have been bullied before (not now) i have been happy i have been just there in the back in the classroom.

Im scared of being seen as a loner but most people would say that i'm not.
Although i am grateful for my friends rn i just need advice.
Hi, sixth former here!
This might not be the advice you're looking for, but it's what I know.

If there is one thing about boys that I have learnt from school, it is that most of them (please don't get offended any boys who read this) have a lower maturity level than the average girl. It's science. That means to be honest, it's quite difficult to be friends with them unless you have a specific shared interest.

That said, what are your hobbies? What are you interested in, and can you join a group either in or out of school where you can meet new people? Or you could try something new, where you (perhaps vaguely) know one of the boys there. That's a brilliant way to start a conversation, and you don't have the pressure of your friends joining in or interrupting the conversation or turning it into something only they can talk about.

I had a very similar experience to you when I was younger where I didn't feel valued in a friendship group and it felt rubbish. Again, is there any way you can join a new club/ activity or something where you'll have the chance to interact with new people? Me and my current friends all used to play a sport together (I was absolutely rubbish), which meant we went to the playing field together, left together and played together. It meant I could start conversations about that sport and even when I quit (I am not kidding I was so awful), we stayed friends, and we still are today. I gradually became distanced from my old friends who treated me like yours treat you. We're still friendly and say hi in the corridors, but we're no longer as close, which works out much better for all of us.

The boy who said no one likes you is an idiot. It's not true. It never is. I will never excuse that kind of behaviour, but know that often boys act in a certain way to project their own insecurities onto others. When he said no one likes you, he was almost certainly projecting (or just being a malicious twit - remember they're so much more immature than you at this stage).

It does get easier, but I am nearly 17, and let me tell you that I still struggle with talking to boys and making new friends, but the best way to start is with a common interest, I PROMISE. Also, some boys will always be idiots. Never aim for all of them to like you. Some will never know your name, and that's ok! You don't need to be liked and known by everyone in order to be expected.

Also, talk to your friends about being included in conversations with boys - ask if they can make an effort to include you because you sometimes feel a bit left out. It might feel awkward, but it can make a big difference.

If you're feeling really brave, confront your friend about bringing up that incident. She probably didn't mean to be rude, and if you mention that it made you feel rubbish, I'm sure she would apologise and try not to do it again.

You sound like an amazing person, and I hope your friends love and appreciate you.

Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
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AHHH OMGGG THANK YOU SOOO MUCH you're literallyyy such a kind person and i will definitely take your advice. thanks againnnnn
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summerholliday
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(Original post by Anonymous)
AHHH OMGGG THANK YOU SOOO MUCH you're literallyyy such a kind person and i will definitely take your advice. thanks againnnnn
no problem! I'm glad it was helpful
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