Feel I'm back at square one with girls, how can I get more confident?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Before the pandemic started I felt I was finally making progress with girls. I had made some friendships and been on a few coffee dates, and was going out regularly and talking to girls. But in the past year and a half I've done nothing, I've barely talked to one girl and I feel I'm back at square one. I am naturally shy and I've never been in a relationship before. Girls seem so confident and to have high expectations. I went on one date last week through Badoo and it was terrible. I was so out of practice talking to girls I felt nervous the whole date. I haven't heard from the girl again and am worried I came over weird or creepy. How can I develop confidence and just get to feel normal around girls again?
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sophiebubbles1
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Report 1 month ago
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How fast do you usually move? Perhaps a slower approach is called for - to ease you, and the girl you're dating, back into things? The pandemic has changed a lot of things but that doesn't need to be for the worse. I think it's slightly scarier dating during/after COVID (depending on what the situation is like near you). You could spend some extra time just chatting as friends before agreeing to meet, whether that's virtually or in-person. You seem to use apps already, what about following each other on TikTok and sending stuff from there, as well as doing online quizzes before you actually meet? That way you'll know a bit more about them and perhaps be more excited than nervous when you eventually decide to meet. Treating girls first as a friend is usually a good way to go and it gets easier to build from there.
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Poll: What factors affect your mental health most right now? Post-lockdown edition

Anxiousness about restrictions easing (47)
6.08%
Uncertainty around my education (89)
11.51%
Uncertainty around my future career prospects (80)
10.35%
Lack of purpose or motivation (99)
12.81%
Lack of support system (eg. teachers, counsellors, delays in care) (40)
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Impact lockdown had on physical health (43)
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11%
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Concern about myself or my loves ones getting/having been ill (34)
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3.23%
Lack of confidence in making big life decisions (72)
9.31%
Worry about missed opportunities during the pandemic (60)
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