The Student Room Group

First date - open car door for them?

Hi,

so i'm a male and going on a date in around a month or two after this girl gets her vaccines etc, i would say i'm caring and a slight gentleman but i don't over do it and my opinion on opening car doors seems a little cringe? some people have told me its good to do but others have said not to.

I just think its over the top to pull up and get out your car to open the door for them then close it and then go back round to drivers seat? maybe open it from inside the car like lean over and get the handle? i just dont want to seem weird on the first date plus her parents will be watching so my worry is over doing it as there is people who treat their partners more like Royals ie opening doors 24.7 and pulling chairs out and pushing them in it all seems way over the top for me but i'm new to dating.

Thoughts?

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Over the top innit. Just do what needs to be done in a simple and efficient manner.
She has her own pair of hands so she can open them herself?😂
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

so i'm a male and going on a date in around a month or two after this girl gets her vaccines etc, i would say i'm caring and a slight gentleman but i don't over do it and my opinion on opening car doors seems a little cringe? some people have told me its good to do but others have said not to.

I just think its over the top to pull up and get out your car to open the door for them then close it and then go back round to drivers seat? maybe open it from inside the car like lean over and get the handle? i just dont want to seem weird on the first date plus her parents will be watching so my worry is over doing it as there is people who treat their partners more like Royals ie opening doors 24.7 and pulling chairs out and pushing them in it all seems way over the top for me but i'm new to dating.

Thoughts?

I mean if you are meeting her somewhere for her to get in after you pulling up, yeah Id say its a bit over the top. It isnt cringey in itself but I think context/when its done can make it so, ofthat makes sense
If you happen to be in the exact right place at the right time to open a door for them, then do it - but don't make a big song and dance of it.
I just don't see the point in it tbh
I feel like it is a thing of the past...

Keep it casual and let her open it :smile:
Reply 7
I would be picking her up from her house and thought it would look a little weird to pull up and get out to open door then hop back in lol? some have told me to just open the door from the inside for her but not like full on get out and open it wide for her.

"She has hands?" thats what i'm thinking lol.....
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

so i'm a male and going on a date in around a month or two after this girl gets her vaccines etc, i would say i'm caring and a slight gentleman but i don't over do it and my opinion on opening car doors seems a little cringe? some people have told me its good to do but others have said not to.

I just think its over the top to pull up and get out your car to open the door for them then close it and then go back round to drivers seat? maybe open it from inside the car like lean over and get the handle? i just dont want to seem weird on the first date plus her parents will be watching so my worry is over doing it as there is people who treat their partners more like Royals ie opening doors 24.7 and pulling chairs out and pushing them in it all seems way over the top for me but i'm new to dating.

Thoughts?

If you're standing outside her door, then yeah, why wouldn't you - but I don't see how you'd ever be in that situation, so just let her open them with her own five fingered flappers
Tbh if you're in someone else's car for the first time sometimes the door handles are kind of difficult to figure out lol. Especially if it's a van with a sliding door. So in that situation it is kind of helpful if the owner of the car opens the door for you.
Depends if you feel comfortable doing that and if she enjoys it. Maybe she might not like it but it’s afraid to say just ask her.
Reply 11
Very old fashioned, so unless she’s a Princess or you can do it in a flirty funny way I wouldn’t do this
I don't think it's over the top.
If you’re picking her up from her house the polite thing to do would be to get out of the car and ring her doorbell then walk back to the car with her.

Then it’s less awkward to open the car door for her as you’re in front of the door. (Depending on which way you parked)
Leaning over inside to open the door is a bit much, and waiting til she’s at the car to get out and go round to open her door is a lot much. (Unless as one poster said your doors stick or they’re an odd mechanism)
If you're already on that side of the car, it makes sense. If not, don't bother.
It's a nice thought but can be uncomfortable.
She can open it herself imo
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

so i'm a male and going on a date in around a month or two after this girl gets her vaccines etc, i would say i'm caring and a slight gentleman but i don't over do it and my opinion on opening car doors seems a little cringe? some people have told me its good to do but others have said not to.

I just think its over the top to pull up and get out your car to open the door for them then close it and then go back round to drivers seat? maybe open it from inside the car like lean over and get the handle? i just dont want to seem weird on the first date plus her parents will be watching so my worry is over doing it as there is people who treat their partners more like Royals ie opening doors 24.7 and pulling chairs out and pushing them in it all seems way over the top for me but i'm new to dating.

Thoughts?

You are over thinking and over stressing on the date if you are thinking about car door etiquette.

How about arranging dates with other women in the intervening month?
I can't see any sense in going a whole month without dating someone.

As a general rule: don't supplicate.
As another general rule: don't be a jerk.

If the central locking on your car is dodgey, by all means open the door for her.
If it works fine, I'm sure she's quite capable of opening it herself.

When you greet each, put on a little burst of enthusiastic energy, give her hug, and possibly a quick peck on the lips whilst saying something like "Sophieeeeee! It's great to see you."

It would also be polite to say hello to her parents, plus any brothers or sisters or grandparents that live with her. And to introduce yourself to them and say that it's really nice to meet them, plus a little bit of other pleasant and polite small talk.

If you are going inside their house to say hello, ask if they want you to take your shoes off as you enter.

It's all about your general mindset and attitude. Being positive and friendly. Getting stuck into social situations with enthusiasm.

Make her family your allies when it comes to winning her heart.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
When you greet each, put on a little burst of enthusiastic energy, give her hug, and possibly a quick peck on the lips whilst saying something like "Sophieeeeee! It's great to see you."

Note: if she's not called Sophie, you'll have to think of something else.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,

so i'm a male and going on a date in around a month or two after this girl gets her vaccines etc, i would say i'm caring and a slight gentleman but i don't over do it and my opinion on opening car doors seems a little cringe? some people have told me its good to do but others have said not to.

I just think its over the top to pull up and get out your car to open the door for them then close it and then go back round to drivers seat? maybe open it from inside the car like lean over and get the handle? i just dont want to seem weird on the first date plus her parents will be watching so my worry is over doing it as there is people who treat their partners more like Royals ie opening doors 24.7 and pulling chairs out and pushing them in it all seems way over the top for me but i'm new to dating.

Thoughts?

OMG YES!!! Do it open the door for here. THAT IS CUTE!!! Well i would love that idk if she would. But like if you knock at her door and then walk to the car open the door then when she i in shut it then go around to your seat.
Original post by Theloniouss
Note: if she's not called Sophie, you'll have to think of something else.

Or when she asks you "Who's Sophie?" you could reply with
"Sorry Jane, just kidding." with a wink to her parents.

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