Am I a bad person for this

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So I’ve been talking to this guy for like 2 months now and I’ve met him once. Couldn’t tell if I liked him. Then a week ago a girl messaged me (I’m Bi female btw) and we’re meeting up tomorrow. It’s the first time im meeting a girl with the possibility of it going further.

I’m not in a relationship with this guy, he said he wasn’t ready so there’s no proper commitment. I know people do worse but I feel really guilty.

Am I a sh*tty person for this??
0
reply
Final Fantasy
Badges: 20
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
No.
0
reply
Moonlight rain
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
No because you don't owe him anything since you're not together
0
reply
anosmianAcrimony
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
No, of course not! You haven't made any sort of a commitment to him. Especially if he told you he wasn't ready, he has absolutely no grounds to turn around and expect you to be exclusive. So please don't feel guilty!

Hope it goes well with the girl tomorrow, have fun
2
reply
becausethenight
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
No, you didn't commit to anything with this guy. Tbh, it sounds like he's been stringing you on a bit.
1
reply
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
No.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#7
(Original post by becausethenight)
No, you didn't commit to anything with this guy. Tbh, it sounds like he's been stringing you on a bit.
Fairly certain he’s not. We’ve been talking for 3 months not 2 (typo) and he’s said he thinks he loves me and wants to go on holidays together. He likes me more than I like him which is why I feel really guilty. But we’re not committed
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
No, of course not! You haven't made any sort of a commitment to him. Especially if he told you he wasn't ready, he has absolutely no grounds to turn around and expect you to be exclusive. So please don't feel guilty!

Hope it goes well with the girl tomorrow, have fun
Thank you for this
0
reply
becausethenight
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Fairly certain he’s not. We’ve been talking for 3 months not 2 (typo) and he’s said he thinks he loves me and wants to go on holidays together. He likes me more than I like him which is why I feel really guilty. But we’re not committed
He says he loves you but you haven’t either committed or said you don’t feel the same and it isn’t going to work seems a little odd, to my mind?

I mean either you’ve agreed on an open relationship, in which case you haven’t done anything wrong but you should maybe think about if it works for you considering you feel guilty, or you need to clarify what’s going on with him.

It sounds like maybe you don’t actually like him much, which is fine - but then you should tell him! You’re under no obligation to message him or date him just because he likes you.
0
reply
SlaveofAll
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
You may consider going through a getting-to-know-each-other phase with both of them.
0
reply
StriderHort
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
Yeah he loves you but he's not ready? Grade A ***hole behaviour there. "Here's a load of emotions that I won't let you do anything with, just wait, kthxbai"
0
reply
SlaveofAll
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by StriderHort)
Yeah he loves you but he's not ready? Grade A ***hole behaviour there. "Here's a load of emotions that I won't let you do anything with, just wait, kthxbai"
The getting-to-know-each-other phase could be just what both of them need.
0
reply
Chicken.M.
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 month ago
#13
He said he doesn't want a relationship so no. You've already been rejected by him lol.
0
reply
StriderHort
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 month ago
#14
(Original post by SlaveofAll)
The getting-to-know-each-other phase could be just what both of them need.
He's already blown that by throwing 'love' into things after meeting someone once IMO, that's a red flag balled up and stuffed down the throat right there.

And frankly the OP just doesn't seem keen on them.
0
reply
SlaveofAll
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#15
Report 1 month ago
#15
(Original post by StriderHort)
He's already blown that by throwing 'love' into things after meeting someone once IMO, that's a red flag balled up and stuffed down the throat right there.

And frankly the OP just doesn't seem keen on them.
The getting-to-know-each-other phase doesn't have to involve just two people. It basically combines the benefits that both single life and relationships can offer by allowing parties to acquaint themselves with one another without the need to exclude other people.
0
reply
StriderHort
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#16
Report 1 month ago
#16
(Original post by SlaveofAll)
The getting-to-know-each-other phase doesn't have to involve just two people. It basically combines the benefits that both single life and relationships can offer by allowing parties to acquaint themselves with one another without the need to exclude other people.
Okay, but OP could spent this same time 'Getting-To-Know' this other girl she seems far more interested in.

I think most would agree that it's totally possible to mess up the getting-to-know-you-dating-casual-whatever phase by coming on way too strong like this guy seems to have done, esp when the other person isn't really feeling the spark at all.
0
reply
SlaveofAll
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 month ago
#17
(Original post by StriderHort)
Okay, but OP could spent this same time 'Getting-To-Know' this other girl she seems far more interested in.

I think most would agree that it's totally possible to mess up the getting-to-know-you-dating-casual-whatever phase by coming on way too strong like this guy seems to have done, esp when the other person isn't really feeling the spark at all.
I usually recommend it to people who can't decide between staying single and getting into relationships.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How are you feeling about starting university this autumn?

Really excited (70)
22.95%
Excited but a bit nervous (135)
44.26%
Not bothered either way (37)
12.13%
I'm really nervous (63)
20.66%

Watched Threads

View All