Girl I am seeing sleeping with her ex

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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I'll try and keep this somewhat short and with the important points only.

I started talking to this girl about 5 weeks ago and we instantly hit it off, more than I've ever hit it off with a girl before - It felt natural and things were progressing.

She was used to taking things quite quickly frankly, due to her health (private issue), so I had to encourage her to slow down to a pace that I thought was more healthy for a blossoming relationship. This was the first red flag but she understood and was accepting - she even said she thought it was going well even after slowing it down.

We weren't exclusive, and still aren't but I was under the impression that neither of us were seeing anybody else. There was talk of 'special connection', 'not interested in anyone else' and 'wanting to explore a future with you' going between us.

Then, after having sex with her last week, I found out that she had actually slept with her ex 3 times since we started talking. What do I make of this?

She very much regrets her actions and wants to fix things and has told me she has completely blocked her ex out of her life in order to try and make things work.

Is this a sign of future pain (trust)? Am I overreacting seeing as we weren't together? Other thoughts?

TL;DR - Girl I have been seeing for 5 weeks has told me we have something special, I agree, but she has been sleeping with her ex.
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Willzyx
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Well... I don't think her behaviour is very appropriate or conducive to a lovely relationship. Only a young man would tolerate this kind of drama. You'd do best to respect yourself and be loyal to your own values and instead of sitting her on the throne of your ideal girl stop selling yourself on this silly girl and find the girl of your dreams. Settling for this girl is a distraction from your potential happiness and moving past her toward someone new is a move toward happiness beyond that which she can supply. All the good feels come from within you, she's not writing the songs or prescribing the chemicals that have you chasing her. You're doing that to yourself. You're casting this girl in the role of you ideal and she is far, far, far from it.

Go find that whimsical and wonderful young woman that'll make you happy
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CaptainDuckie
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Hmm.. you mean slept with her ex while talking to you? Well, I don’t really know what sequence of events lead that to happen but, seen as though she regrets it, maybe she might be trying to move on from him and you’re her happiness?


I mean, did she say she wasn’t seeing him at the very start of the talking stage? If not, it’s totally acceptable to block him and then say she wasn’t seeing someone else. (Technically she isn’t obligated to be entitled to you at all). Although, it would’ve been helpful and honest to tell you that before sleeping with you, so there’s a red flag there. Clearly.


Now, I don’t think you’re overreacting per say but what I have said seems as though what has happened. Definitely could be a break of trust.

Then again, you’ve only been talking to her for 5 weeks which is an awfully short amount of time. Maybe she just wanted a simple hookup, ngl.
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 1 month ago
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We weren't exclusive, and still aren't but I was under the impression that neither of us were seeing anybody else.
Communication is key in a relationship and you are both lacking. Neither of you have set any boundaries.
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Chicken.M.
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Plenty of people are going to have the view that since you weren't exclusive it's fine.

But personally it's a big no from me. If I find out a girl that's been flirting with me is doing the same thing with other men I lose all interest and respect for them. I literally cannot be attracted to them anymore.

You want someone who's going to treat you as #1. This girl is treating you as an option while she shags her other options. In my view, people like this don't view you as an equal human being, you're just a commodity that they're using for their own pleasure. They have no respect for you.
Last edited by Chicken.M.; 1 month ago
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