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Boyfriend

My boyfriend never wants sex with me. I’m starting to think it’s me, I’ve asked and his apparently just tired. But how can someone just be tired all the time surely he wants to be intimate
Doesn't sound great
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend never wants sex with me. I’m starting to think it’s me, I’ve asked and his apparently just tired. But how can someone just be tired all the time surely he wants to be intimate

He might not be ready to have sex with you? Also he might want to know you more before sleeping with you? Or just in general he might be romantically attracted to you but not sexually attracted to you?
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Original post by jamesbarry17
Doesn't sound great

Very helpful
Reply 4
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Original post by Anonymous
He might not be ready to have sex with you? Also he might want to know you more before sleeping with you? Or just in general he might be romantically attracted to you but not sexually attracted to you?

Well we’ve been together 6 years? Almost certain his ready as we’ve had sex before
Has he had more of a libido in the past? Or are you guys fairly new to each other?
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Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Has he had more of a libido in the past? Or are you guys fairly new to each other?

We’ve been together about 6 years! But ever since the pandemic I feel like our sex life has slowed down
Original post by Anonymous
Well we’ve been together 6 years? Almost certain his ready as we’ve had sex before

Wow 6 years sure is long I mean people just have not felt really good during the pandemic so maybe he does not feel like he wants to sleep with you? I guess give him some time people have suffered enough in the pandemic. Also sometimes people just go through a period of time where they just do not want sex?

On the side note, are you considering marrying him?😂 6 years wow
It probably isn't as simple as it just being "you". Continuing to have good sex over longer periods of time just takes effort from both partners. It needs continued curiosity and adventurousness. It helps if you keep exploring new ways of pleasing each other, and have a continued joy in learning more about each other's bodies.

It could be that by trying new ways of doing things, you could entice him into more sex. But it could also be that he just isn't prepared to put effort into this kind of exploration - at which point, if your wanting more sex is a dealbreaker, you may need to find someone new. But it would be best to talk all this through with him before going that route.
(edited 2 years ago)
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Original post by Anonymous
Wow 6 years sure is long I mean people just have not felt really good during the pandemic so maybe he does not feel like he wants to sleep with you? I guess give him some time people have suffered enough in the pandemic. Also sometimes people just go through a period of time where they just do not want sex?

On the side note, are you considering marrying him?😂 6 years wow

Well he has been abit low recently? Like maybe it could be something to do with that idk it just makes it feel like it’s something to do with me, but yeah . And to the marrying question hahaha I sure bloody hope so
Original post by Anonymous
Wow 6 years sure is long I mean people just have not felt really good during the pandemic so maybe he does not feel like he wants to sleep with you? I guess give him some time people have suffered enough in the pandemic. Also sometimes people just go through a period of time where they just do not want sex?

On the side note, are you considering marrying him?😂 6 years wow

In broad strokes, it's definitely true that the lockdowns have really hurt people's mental health, and having low mood can definitely make you not feel like sex.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
In broad strokes, it's definitely true that the lockdowns have really hurt people's mental health, and having low mood can definitely make you not feel like sex.

He is low he has told me this but like I don’t know I just constantly feel like it’s me! I don’t know what else to do, I try and speak to him and he shuts it down
Original post by Anonymous
He is low he has told me this but like I don’t know I just constantly feel like it’s me! I don’t know what else to do, I try and speak to him and he shuts it down

I was just about to post, "it might be worth asking why he feels low and how you can support him" - but of course you already have.

Sometimes it's very difficult to help people if they won't let you in. Please don't feel at fault here, like "it's you". If he does have some problem with the relationship, you can't possibly be expected to try and fix it if he isn't prepared to share with you what it is. So don't feel bad - what can you do?
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
I was just about to post, "it might be worth asking why he feels low and how you can support him" - but of course you already have.

Sometimes it's very difficult to help people if they won't let you in. Please don't feel at fault here, like "it's you". If he does have some problem with the relationship, you can't possibly be expected to try and fix it if he isn't prepared to share with you what it is. So don't feel bad - what can you do?

That’s true I’ve asked him if it’s me and stuff and he said it wasn’t it was everything but wouldn’t share what everything was. But I can’t help but feel anxious about it being me 🥺
Original post by Anonymous
He is low he has told me this but like I don’t know I just constantly feel like it’s me! I don’t know what else to do, I try and speak to him and he shuts it down


Well personally, if I'm in a bad mood and tired af the only way I'd be having sex is if the other person is going to do all the work and I can lie there like a vegetable lol.

Also if I'm in a low mood and super tired I'd not be able to entertain any nagging or serious conversations either. They actually drain me to the point I need to leave and have a nap halfway through.

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