Flatmates disrespect me all the time and its making me depressed

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hi guys,

This might be quite long so I apologise, but I just need to vent and get some advice.

I live with 6 other people (1 girl and 5 boys). The girl is my best mate, so I dont have any issues with her. As for the boys, they were my friends from 1st year, but since moving into our house 2nd year, they and my "friend" group constantly are sexist, put me down, exclude me and generally disrespect me completely. I've tried standing up for myself, but it just makes the situation worse cause they call me "aggressive" and "rude", when in reality I just say to respect me. I've also tried explaining my side of the stories a few times, but they just laugh, so I stopped.

They started disrespecting me cause of some rumours from this other girl in my "friend" group (she is a pick me girl who hates women and always says boys are less drama). She calls me a **** and boy-obsessed and makes it a point to exclude me from everything. Since she's like queen-bee (lol), she has got the other boys to basically dislike me as well. I didn't even realise she had a problem with me until I heard it from someone else. I genuinely liked her.

One of the guys in the group (we'll call him "Luke"), was my friend who I introduced to everyone and let live with us. We would get into arguments almost every week cause he was obsessed with me and would never leave me alone. Luke is the biggest gas-lighter in the entire world, and literally makes it his mission to ruin my life. He is another story for another day haha. Anyways, he's started to become closer to the other 4 boys which makes it worse since he starts nagging about me.

Due to COVID, its been really hard making friends with other groups, so it's not really an option. 95% of my "friends" are in that group.

I really didn't expect my university life to be like this - I really wanted to make a solid friendship group. But unfortunately I settled with sexist pigs who hate anyone without a penis. Their only girl friend is that "pick-me" girl who just stirs everything.

I just feel depressed tbh, and have constant anxiety. I lock myself in my room and it sucks to see them all hang out and have fun. Everytime I try to join something, you can physically see on their face that they don't want me there. It's so weird since we all got on first year - they would say I was so fun and lively... now I am a joke to them.
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Chicken.M.
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I feel really bad for you, wish I could give you a hug. Living with troglodytes is actually hell.

I was in a similar situation to you and I ended up moving out and going back to living on campus. I did a few petty revenge things as a parting gift as well, like finding the worst tenants possible to take my room and leaving an electric heater on 24/7 to make their bills super high. I even stole this guy's favourite BBQ tongs and it still makes me smile to this day when I use them :laugh:

Tbh I actually ended up dropping out of uni because I had so many bad experiences similar to what you're describing. I know exactly how you feel. You can pm me if you wanna talk about it with someone.
Last edited by Chicken.M.; 1 month ago
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goggleyed
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you need to get out and find a new home with better housemates
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Zarek
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Large mixed sex student house seem to be a nightmare because of the type of thing you describe, plus it’s all likely to be worsened by the pandemic. It also always seems like a great idea before you do it. Make an escape plan to live with a couple of good, probably female, mates next year. In the meanwhile just try to be philosophical, no one’s really to blame, and socialise with your friend
Last edited by Zarek; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
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translation: you've probably been brainwashed by the likes of twitter and you look to get offended by the smallest **** so your friends got tired of how sensitive you are? just a suggestion. maybe try talking to them instead of victimising yourself and calling people "pick me" just because they view world differently than you and don't scream 'kam' as soon as they sense a male presence within 60 ft of them :rolleyes:
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nightingalegend
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(Original post by Anonymous)
translation: you've probably been brainwashed by the likes of twitter and you look to get offended by the smallest **** so your friends got tired of how sensitive you are? just a suggestion. maybe try talking to them instead of victimising yourself and calling people "pick me" just because they view world differently than you and don't scream 'kam' as soon as they sense a male presence within 60 ft of them :rolleyes:
perhaps you should get off anon first. everyone deserves respect, and there is nothing wrong with asking for it.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by nightingalegend)
perhaps you should get off anon first. everyone deserves respect, and there is nothing wrong with asking for it.
because she's totally respecting them based on her post? I didn't say she doesn't deserve respect - I said maybe things aren't as black and white as she's making them out to be, and instead of making a dramatic post online, she could, you know, talk to them like a normal person.
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londonmyst
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Time for you to plan to move to a more happy and compatible student houseshare.
During my undergrad years I've lived in London houseshares with a variety of less delightful housemates: thieving housemates, noisy housemates, lazy & unhygenic housemates, greedy spongers and all manner of overbearing jerk housemates.
I moved out as soon as possible and quickly learned that I prefer living alone, even if it means that the majority of my income goes on accomodation costs.

That said, I don't agree with your respect agenda.
Nor the apparent 'I demand respect' from all the other housemates attitude.
It makes you seem entitled, petty and hints at the possibility of a difficult or moderately obnoxious personality.
Nobody owes you automatic respect based upon the fact that you exist, want it or are a fellow paying tenant.
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hermimepryce
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi guys,

This might be quite long so I apologise, but I just need to vent and get some advice.

I live with 6 other people (1 girl and 5 boys). The girl is my best mate, so I dont have any issues with her. As for the boys, they were my friends from 1st year, but since moving into our house 2nd year, they and my "friend" group constantly are sexist, put me down, exclude me and generally disrespect me completely. I've tried standing up for myself, but it just makes the situation worse cause they call me "aggressive" and "rude", when in reality I just say to respect me. I've also tried explaining my side of the stories a few times, but they just laugh, so I stopped.

They started disrespecting me cause of some rumours from this other girl in my "friend" group (she is a pick me girl who hates women and always says boys are less drama). She calls me a **** and boy-obsessed and makes it a point to exclude me from everything. Since she's like queen-bee (lol), she has got the other boys to basically dislike me as well. I didn't even realise she had a problem with me until I heard it from someone else. I genuinely liked her.

One of the guys in the group (we'll call him "Luke"), was my friend who I introduced to everyone and let live with us. We would get into arguments almost every week cause he was obsessed with me and would never leave me alone. Luke is the biggest gas-lighter in the entire world, and literally makes it his mission to ruin my life. He is another story for another day haha. Anyways, he's started to become closer to the other 4 boys which makes it worse since he starts nagging about me.

Due to COVID, its been really hard making friends with other groups, so it's not really an option. 95% of my "friends" are in that group.

I really didn't expect my university life to be like this - I really wanted to make a solid friendship group. But unfortunately I settled with sexist pigs who hate anyone without a penis. Their only girl friend is that "pick-me" girl who just stirs everything.

I just feel depressed tbh, and have constant anxiety. I lock myself in my room and it sucks to see them all hang out and have fun. Everytime I try to join something, you can physically see on their face that they don't want me there. It's so weird since we all got on first year - they would say I was so fun and lively... now I am a joke to them.
hey, I completely understand I’ve had the same issues with big friendship groups since I was younger. If you ever need to talk to someone who gets it defo just message me X
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