I don’t understand why i’m like this

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Anonymous #1
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So with my ex I was super into her and I feel like apart of that was due to a lot of other guys wanting her and this made me want her even more.

Anyway a new girl I am talking to told me a story about how she got approached by some roadmen in London and how they kept asking her for her snap and how this happened to her a few times and she just had to give a fake one. This for some reason has made me more attracted to her knowing other guys want her too.

I honestly don’t understand why I think like this, does anyone else think like this?
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Pickysalsa
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So with my ex I was super into her and I feel like apart of that was due to a lot of other guys wanting her and this made me want her even more.

Anyway a new girl I am talking to told me a story about how she got approached by some roadmen in London and how they kept asking her for her snap and how this happened to her a few times and she just had to give a fake one. This for some reason has made me more attracted to her knowing other guys want her too.

I honestly don’t understand why I think like this, does anyone else think like this?
bestie this is weird. get better soon. saranghae xoxoxoxo
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Anonymous #2
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So you don't actually like them, you just want them because other guys do? Maybe you care too much about the opinions of others rather than how you feel about girls. So it's like you can be talking to a girl but then you get validation almost when someone else is interested and you want to claim her or something because that means you win and you're great and you managed to get the girl everyone else wants? Because that makes you feel special? I'm not judging, it just interests me trying to work out how people think etc...it's the actress/creative writer in me! But I would say when you're talking with a girl, think about if you actually like spending time with her. If you like her anyway before finding out others do, make sure your attraction isn't mainly based on that
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Moonlight rain
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It makes you feel special that she has rejected so many guys and is with you instead of them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So you don't actually like them, you just want them because other guys do? Maybe you care too much about the opinions of others rather than how you feel about girls. So it's like you can be talking to a girl but then you get validation almost when someone else is interested and you want to claim her or something because that means you win and you're great and you managed to get the girl everyone else wants? Because that makes you feel special? I'm not judging, it just interests me trying to work out how people think etc...it's the actress/creative writer in me! But I would say when you're talking with a girl, think about if you actually like spending time with her. If you like her anyway before finding out others do, make sure your attraction isn't mainly based on that
No I do like her, say my attraction was 50% before and this just boosts it to 70%
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
It makes you feel special that she has rejected so many guys and is with you instead of them.
Hmm now you explained it like that, it seems that pretty obvious
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Pickysalsa)
bestie this is weird. get better soon. saranghae xoxoxoxo
so true bestie 😧😬
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bishop2475
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So you like her because you can have her but others can't? Thats possessive dude
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No I do like her, say my attraction was 50% before and this just boosts it to 70%

lol.. clearly you aren’t insecure, which is good. shows that you trust her to not do anything silly.

Or, you might just want her more because you don’t want to be done dirty by her/ jealous that she might move on from you.

It’s like having sweets, right. At that point in time, since you have the sweets, you wouldn’t want it as much. But, if someone took the sweets from you, you’ll start crying.

That saying: ”it’s like taking candy from a baby”

That might be what’s happening here.
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NonIndigenous
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This behavior is more common among women actually. I am positive of that. Men tend to care less if the girl gets lots of attention already. We even tend to dislike it a little more than the other way around.

Notwithstanding, there are several reasons why you are like this:
1. You have a hyper-competitive mindset: the feeling of being with a girl whom others want to be with, makes you feel like you're better than those others. This is not ideal, but if you can't help yourself being this way... then at least make sure you do not do it to friends of yours.
2. You like 'hard-to-get' types, because you like the chase. Whatever. This isn't so bad, necessarily. Depends just how hard to get they actually are being. If they are being too hard, then no. 3:
3. You like being rejected. Which is weird. But there are people like that.
4. If you like being rejected, or idealise relationships that are very unlikely or impossible to happen, then you might not realise this, but you might actually not be looking for a relationship in the first place. Commitment phobia. You want a relationship, but you do not want one at the same time, so unintentionally look for ways to undermine it.
5. Maybe you just like girls who get lots of attention. There is a difference between that and her being 'outgoing', even though they often appear the same. Outgoing girls just get lots of attention, without deliberately seeking it. Then you have the deliberate attention seekers who usually have something funny with their heads that causes them to act that way.

Maybe there are other reasons. Those are off the top of my head.
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