What do you say to people that got a really bad grade?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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I did a physics exam and I got a Grade 9. A casual friend got a U. The consersation went like this:
Her: What did you get?
Me: 9
Her: Well done! I got a U
Me (awkward and really panicked now): Oh that's fine!
Her: No it's not
Me (awkward and really panicked now): Yeah it's fineee. Just revise next time
Her: haha I did revise
Me: ......
Then I giggled because what is there more to say? I gave an (obvious) excuse and said I needed to go to the nathroom.

This hapened with another person too, and will certainly happen next year when I do exams again.
My question is, how do you keep a conversation being natural and NOT awkward when the other person got a really bad grade?

Do I tell them they did fine? It's obvious I'm lying. Do I tell them they did bad? That's unnecessarly rude and unpolite. Do I tell them nothing (like I did at the end)? They'll know it's because of their grade
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SlaveofAll
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You can ask her if she needs your help in study.
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EliteBoy8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I did a physics exam and I got a Grade 9. A casual friend got a U. The consersation went like this:
Her: What did you get?
Me: 9
Her: Well done! I got a U
Me (awkward and really panicked now): Oh that's fine!
Her: No it's not
Me (awkward and really panicked now): Yeah it's fineee. Just revise next time
Her: haha I did revise
Me: ......
Then I giggled because what is there more to say? I gave an (obvious) excuse and said I needed to go to the nathroom.

This hapened with another person too, and will certainly happen next year when I do exams again.
My question is, how do you keep a conversation being natural and NOT awkward when the other person got a really bad grade?

Do I tell them they did fine? It's obvious I'm lying. Do I tell them they did bad? That's unnecessarly rude and unpolite. Do I tell them nothing (like I did at the end)? They'll know it's because of their grade
Tell them what works for you in revision. Tell them that you will be willing to teach them concepts and that you guys can go through exam questions together. They will be beneficial for you aswell as her
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SlaveofAll
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(Original post by EliteBoy8)
Tell them what works for you in revision. Tell them that you will be willing to teach them concepts and that you guys can go through exam questions together. They will be beneficial for you aswell as her
The OP can make it profitable too.
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Moonlight rain
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I feel sorry for them if they feel sad about it. But I tell them to not give up. But that usually doesn't help because they feel like their life is over cause of that grade and don't wanna hear any motivation crap from me
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I did a physics exam and I got a Grade 9. A casual friend got a U. The consersation went like this:
Her: What did you get?
Me: 9
Her: Well done! I got a U
Me (awkward and really panicked now): Oh that's fine!
Her: No it's not
Me (awkward and really panicked now): Yeah it's fineee. Just revise next time
Her: haha I did revise
Me: ......
Then I giggled because what is there more to say? I gave an (obvious) excuse and said I needed to go to the nathroom.

This hapened with another person too, and will certainly happen next year when I do exams again.
My question is, how do you keep a conversation being natural and NOT awkward when the other person got a really bad grade?

Do I tell them they did fine? It's obvious I'm lying. Do I tell them they did bad? That's unnecessarly rude and unpolite. Do I tell them nothing (like I did at the end)? They'll know it's because of their grade
spelling*
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Anonymous #2
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Tell them that they are extremely intelligent and then ask them if they could give you any study tips.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by EliteBoy8)
Tell them what works for you in revision. Tell them that you will be willing to teach them concepts and that you guys can go through exam questions together. They will be beneficial for you aswell as her
We had a ''how to revise'' lesson before all the exams so she already knows that. Besides, I feel as if I talk about revision techniques, I dwell/focus more on the U, which again makes things awkward
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Chicken.M.
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"Damn. Rip."
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Tell them that they are extremely intelligent and then ask them if they could give you any study tips.
Genius 👍
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We had a ''how to revise'' lesson before all the exams so she already knows that. Besides, I feel as if I talk about revision techniques, I dwell/focus more on the U, which again makes things awkward
If they did Higher then it just means they fell below the lowest grade awarded.
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username5770391
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The safest thing is typically going to be a question, anything else can come across as judgmental.

For something like a U or a fail, a safe question could be "what do you think went wrong", potentially followed up by an offer to help them revise. Someone above mentioned telling them what works for you, I'd personally avoid the unsolicited advice and let the other person reach out to you. Unsolicited advice has the potential to go very wrong, whereas saying that you're open to giving them help if they want it rarely comes across as patronising and lets them make the decision.

For grades that are a bit more average, it's better to ask if they're happy with the grade, or if that's what they're aiming for. It's generally okay to make the assumption that it didn't go well if someone outright failed, but otherwise you should try to avoid making assumptions. What might seem like a poor grade to you might have taken them a lot of effort and actually represent a huge improvement. If they say they're happy then congratulate them. And of course if they're unhappy you can fall back on the "let me know if you want help revising" approach.

The phrasing of the question kind of shows the issue. You've decided it's a bad grade, and you want to know what to tell them. Thing is, it's not your position to tell them anything. You find out how they feel, by asking or observing their body language for example, and act accordingly. If they're happy then congratulate them. If they're unhappy then support them. But you don't need to label things and tell them it's good, bad or whatever.
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EliteBoy8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We had a ''how to revise'' lesson before all the exams so she already knows that. Besides, I feel as if I talk about revision techniques, I dwell/focus more on the U, which again makes things awkward
Then maybe I would ask if things at home are okay or whether there are any other factors that are playing a role in her getting low grades. This could be a safeguarding issue so I would suggest speaking to her and if you feel concern after that perhaps speak to a trusted adult and get their advice.
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..M..
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I did a physics exam and I got a Grade 9. A casual friend got a U. The consersation went like this:
Her: What did you get?
Me: 9
Her: Well done! I got a U
Me (awkward and really panicked now): Oh that's fine!
Her: No it's not
Me (awkward and really panicked now): Yeah it's fineee. Just revise next time
Her: haha I did revise
Me: ......
Then I giggled because what is there more to say? I gave an (obvious) excuse and said I needed to go to the nathroom.

This hapened with another person too, and will certainly happen next year when I do exams again.
My question is, how do you keep a conversation being natural and NOT awkward when the other person got a really bad grade?

Do I tell them they did fine? It's obvious I'm lying. Do I tell them they did bad? That's unnecessarly rude and unpolite. Do I tell them nothing (like I did at the end)? They'll know it's because of their grade
Omg this is so relatable 🙈 Not even as drastic as a 9 and a U, but when people complain about their grade and you don’t know wether to agree with them or reassure them it will be ok even when it might not😳
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