How long is a late reply?

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Anonymous #1
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So I've been talking to a girl for just over a week after just striking up conversation at a uni thing. The conversations are lengthy, with emojis and there's teasing on my side which she will follow on but since moving to text from snapchat the responses are getting a little slower. Like between an hour and three hours although there seems to be enthusiasm and I'm thinking of whether to organise a video chat soon. She's on the shy and inexperienced side so obviously I'm doing a lot of the heavy lifting but I just keep having some doubts.
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Moonlight rain
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A late reply to me is 4 days +
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tej3141
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That is not long at all my guy
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by tej3141)
That is not long at all my guy
I know, it's just slightly shorter than when we started. I'm a bit rusty with this stuff so overthink
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
A late reply to me is 4 days +
Really? I'd think the person just wasn't interested then
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know, it's just slightly shorter than when we started. I'm a bit rusty with this stuff so overthink

I don’t think there is anything wrong with not replying by 3 hours. She might have other commitments, and values. She’s showing you enthusiasm which further proves my point, just relax and take things slow.. seems like you’re rushing about the “heavy lifting” just chill dude lol.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
I don’t think there is anything wrong with not replying by 3 hours. She might have other commitments, and values. She’s showing you enthusiasm which further proves my point, just relax and take things slow.. seems like you’re rushing about the “heavy lifting” just chill dude lol.
Yeah it's probably all in my head as even with some of the shorter replies she continues to ask me questions and gets my jokes. I'm taking it slow but have just asked if she fancies a video chat sometime soon. Yeah I guess she's not used to initiating but it's been over a week I think we get along quite well. Another minor thing I find is that there's some flirting between both of us, but when I suggest something there's never a hint of wanting to do it together, she'll say like "oh I'll have to check this out" or "I need to get down there" so not sure
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah it's probably all in my head as even with some of the shorter replies she continues to ask me questions and gets my jokes. I'm taking it slow but have just asked if she fancies a video chat sometime soon. Yeah I guess she's not used to initiating but it's been over a week I think we get along quite well. Another minor thing I find is that there's some flirting between both of us, but when I suggest something there's never a hint of wanting to do it together, she'll say like "oh I'll have to check this out" or "I need to get down there" so not sure


Yeah I think this is what I was debating about on here earlier in how to ask for sex. To be honest, since it’s been over a week, do not ask her this early on as it will be a serious caution that she will think that you are objectifying her.


What are you both after? It has been over a week, she might just like you but not what anything further like a relationship etc. I think after talking to her for some time (if you want a relationship rather than just sex) you can then start to progress into making things exclusive between both of you.


Right now, it seems like she’s just getting to know you with a few lengthy hours to reply here and there. She’s obviously interested in you because she flirts etc. You should probably meet up with her soon so you can see how she is around you. (Chances are that she’ll be very touchy, etc)
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 1 month ago
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Surnia
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If you want instant replies, pick up the phone and talk to her. If you can't communicate like that, it's not worth pursuing.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Surnia)
If you want instant replies, pick up the phone and talk to her. If you can't communicate like that, it's not worth pursuing.

I think this is kind of being intrusive. They aren’t really on that stage to just randomly be calling unannounced, they’ve been both talking for just over a week.

She might get very annoyed and think of him as desperate/ needy and that he relies on her every minute of the day. She has other priorities in life, clearly and him disturbing that isn’t really the best way to go about things. Instead, he can organise a video chat to see what she says, this is throwing the ball on her court to see how she reacts to it.
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 1 month ago
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Surnia
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
I think this is kind of being intrusive. They aren’t really on that stage to just randomly be calling unannounced, they’ve been both talking for just over a week.

She might get very annoyed and think of him as desperate/ needy and that he relies on her every minute of the day. She has other priorities in life, clearly and him disturbing that isn’t really the best way to go about things. Instead, he can organise a video chat to see what she says, this is throwing the ball on her court to see how she reacts to it.
They haven't even been talking, they are messaging. And what's the difference between a phone call and a video chat? Either could be organised, and in both cases it's using your voice and having an instantaneous conversation.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Surnia)
They haven't even been talking, they are messaging. And what's the difference between a phone call and a video chat? Either could be organised, and in both cases it's using your voice and having an instantaneous conversation.

Talking/ messaging can be used interchangeably.

There’s a difference that one is showing your face + voice communication and the other is by means of only voice communication but you said that he should call her like it would have been unannounced or something. You especially even said that if they can’t communicate like that then it’s not worth pursuing which I majorly disagree on.
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Surnia
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
Talking/ messaging can be used interchangeably.

There’s a difference that one is showing your face + voice communication and the other is by means of only voice communication but you said that he should call her like it would have been unannounced or something. You especially even said that if they can’t communicate like that then it’s not worth pursuing which I majorly disagree on.
People do interchange talking and messaging, but it's not the same thing. I didn't mean don't pursue if they can't communicate specifically by phone, I mean if they can't maintain a normal voice conversation with haven't to think too long about what they are saying and dropping some emojis in there. And there's nothing wrong with a spontaneous phone call; the recipient doesn't have to answer.
Last edited by Surnia; 1 month ago
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Surnia)
People do interchange talking and messaging, but it's not the same thing. I didn't mean don't pursue if they can't communicate specifically by phone, I mean if they can't maintain a normal voice conversation with haven't to think too long about what they are saying and dropping some emojis in there. And there's nothing wrong with a spontaneous phone call; the recipient doesn't have to answer.


Talking and messaging can be used interchangeably in dating and it can be the same thing.

"Talking to someone" is sharing interaction and interest with the intention to be exclusive by the person who's doing the "talking", though there is still even some uncertainty in the other person's intention.
Messaging someone can fall under talking to someone in that sense.

Yes, there’s nothing wrong with that but I just disagree on the whole calling them this early on unannounced like that. There’s a lot of caveats with that. I’d actually encourage means of communication that’s not texting, but only if it was announced.
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Anonymous #1
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I asked if she wanted to do a video call but it's been almost day and not heard anything so not sure
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I asked if she wanted to do a video call but it's been almost day and not heard anything so not sure

Busy probably
Don’t lose hope. When she answers, ask her where she was for clarity.
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
Busy probably
Don’t lose hope. When she answers, ask her where she was for clarity.
Ok she's replied. Said she's also enjoyed chatting and up for a video call but said sometime at night because she's got a new job. I can only presume sorting things out for the job.

Find it strange though although I've texted her, her score on snap goes up after but trying not to read too much into this
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok she's replied. Said she's also enjoyed chatting and up for a video call but said sometime at night because she's got a new job. I can only presume sorting things out for the job.

Find it strange though although I've texted her, her score on snap goes up after but trying not to read too much into this

You’re deeping it. My guy, you aren’t even together. If anything mate, you should be trying your best to get to know her regardless. That’s if you really liked her.

She’s got a new job, see. Nothing is strange about it.

You think she’s cheating on you? Technically, that can’t even happen. You aren’t even together.
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Hazzz01
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A few hours is nothing, she's probably just busy with her own life, don't think much of it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
You’re deeping it. My guy, you aren’t even together. If anything mate, you should be trying your best to get to know her regardless. That’s if you really liked her.

She’s got a new job, see. Nothing is strange about it.

You think she’s cheating on you? Technically, that can’t even happen. You aren’t even together.
Like I said, I do overthink a lot but we're just continuing to ask questions and talk back/forth when we can. I do genuinely like her, yeah.

Nope and I didn't say there was.

Not at all, sometimes you expect you might get a reply back around that time but yeah it's probably just her with mates I get that
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