overthinking is ruining my friendships

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 months ago
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I have a very bad habit overthinking. I assume everyone hates me and and i struggle to trust people or believe the ice things they tell me. I don’t know how to control my thoughts. I tend to be paranoid and assume things and most of my assumptions are always wrong, No matter what i always think that someone is there to get me and it is so exhausting , my thoughts end up making me sad and anxious they have also lead to me breaking a friends trust recently because all they wanted me to do was be honest and ask for reassurance but i couldn’t because i thought if i kept asking if they hated me all the time they would get tired of me and now they won’t talk to me after i apologised and said i wanted to change and be a better person and stop assuming the worst in everything. If anyone has any ways to stop overthinking please help me because i don’t want to keep ruining relationships just because of my thoughts. Thank you.
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SaralH
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Report 3 months ago
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It's like reading about myself! I overthink everything - including overthinking my overthinking! It can be incredibly exhausting and damaging too, especially, as you note, to relationships. Have you tried any cognitive behaviour therapy to help with your anxiety? One thing I try to do, that I've been taught, is to try and ground myself when I feel my thoughts running away, stress and anxiety and the panic that comes from overthinking. I've been told to stop and focus on whats going on around me - what can I see, what can I touch, what (if food or drink is available!) can I taste. I'll focus in on sounds, too, whether its just birds or my boyfriends breathing when he sleeps (the time when way too much overthinking occurs!). Basically breaking the cycle of thoughts and enabling yourself to calm down, so hopefully, out of the stressful situation, you realise it isn't too bad.
Some support groups help, too. I joined a group on facebook for Introverted people to communicate with each other and support each other - just knowing you arent alone in this train of thought really brings comfort, and those with more experience in coping with these scenarios can provide great tips.
Wish you all the best, I know it isn't easy at all!
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 months ago
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(Original post by SaralH)
It's like reading about myself! I overthink everything - including overthinking my overthinking! It can be incredibly exhausting and damaging too, especially, as you note, to relationships. Have you tried any cognitive behaviour therapy to help with your anxiety? One thing I try to do, that I've been taught, is to try and ground myself when I feel my thoughts running away, stress and anxiety and the panic that comes from overthinking. I've been told to stop and focus on whats going on around me - what can I see, what can I touch, what (if food or drink is available!) can I taste. I'll focus in on sounds, too, whether its just birds or my boyfriends breathing when he sleeps (the time when way too much overthinking occurs!). Basically breaking the cycle of thoughts and enabling yourself to calm down, so hopefully, out of the stressful situation, you realise it isn't too bad.
Some support groups help, too. I joined a group on facebook for Introverted people to communicate with each other and support each other - just knowing you arent alone in this train of thought really brings comfort, and those with more experience in coping with these scenarios can provide great tips.
Wish you all the best, I know it isn't easy at all!
Thank you so much for you reply you really helped me!, i've been going to therapy for little bit over two years now for my depression and anxiety but due to covid i haven't been able to see them in person which i think is why it’s been a lot harder to stop and control my thoughts , but your advice was really eye opening and i will definitely start using these tips to help me calm down.
I wish you all the best too , I hope your okay!
Thank you for your help.
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