Met someone as a "friend", but they might have another motive?

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fenton484
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I'm not gonna lie. I'm lonely. Very lonely. I don't really have any friends. My cousin suggested I join a "friendship app". I was dubious about it, I thought it was asking for trouble, but i have no other way of making friends, so signed up.

I found this guy, and we began talking. yesterday we met at a pub, and drunk, i got drunk, i didnt intend to, he gave a lot of his drink to me and even paid for some of mine. I got the impression he was straight, though looking at him (he's 23, im 18) he looks a lot younger and even joked the other day he'd been asked to prove he was sixteen to buy a can of monster energy.

My mum though has found his instagram profile, and found he is following almost exclusively gay men and boys, some of whom, my mum believes, to be underage (though im 18 so nothing wrong there). I've also fond some pictures of him with filters typically associated with girls or gay boys.

So what do i do? ive asked him outright is he gay, yet to hear a response. My mum is worried im being "groomed" - though told her peadophiles generally go for under 18s - hence ""peado"phile. is he lying to me, does he actually want me for something else and not friendship?
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CaptainDuckie
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I think, given the fact that you’re sure he’s gay (make sure you wait for his response before making assertions though), he might just want you to be friends with him.

I doubt he would want something else, although since your mum is saying that then she probably has experience with this type of stuff..

I think you should definitely keep an eye out, since he’s getting you drunk etc. Make sure you don’t get too drunk if you don’t trust him, always be vigilant on how much you consume for now.

You can never be so sure about someone’s intention, you also met him on an app too so that’s even worse.
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 1 month ago
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londonmyst
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Trust your gut instinct and listen to what your feelings are telling you.
If you feel very uncomfortable around him or have no desire to be friends with him, best thing is not to stay in touch.
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Slx.24
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I've always disliked these "friendship" apps. Like specialised ones, snap/insta are a bit different imo
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fenton484
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
I think, given the fact that you’re sure he’s gay (make sure you wait for his response before making assertions though), he might just want you to be friends with him.

I doubt he would want something else, although since your mum is saying that then she probably has experience with this type of stuff..

I think you should definitely keep an eye out, since he’s getting you drunk etc. Make sure you don’t get too drunk if you don’t trust him, always be vigilant on how much you consume for now.

You can never be so sure about someone’s intention, you also met him on an app too so that’s even worse.
I asked him. he said he's bi. Yet to hear anymolre.
It really wasn't my intention to get drunk or anything, I envisaged a couple of drinks.
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fenton484
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(Original post by Slx.24)
I've always disliked these "friendship" apps. Like specialised ones, snap/insta are a bit different imo
Yeah I don't like them either
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Slx.24
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(Original post by fenton484)
Yeah I don't like them either
There are loads of other places to talk to people if you feel lonely, you could even use tsr! But it's a liil bit dead rn bcs of exams etc
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by fenton484)
I asked him. he said he's bi. Yet to hear anymolre.
It really wasn't my intention to get drunk or anything, I envisaged a couple of drinks.

Yeah, still even more dodgy....

Make sure you don’t get too drunk, as I’ve said lol
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fenton484
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(Original post by Slx.24)
There are loads of other places to talk to people if you feel lonely, you could even use tsr! But it's a liil bit dead rn bcs of exams etc
like where? and yeah IK TSR but its still kind of the same thing as the app - its unknown, i want to be meeting people. im trying to get a job, got an interview next week but even in the job i was in before i didnt mete anyone.
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fenton484
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
Yeah, still even more dodgy....

Make sure you don’t get too drunk, as I’ve said lol
is it even more dodgy?
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by fenton484)
is it even more dodgy?

Well, he’s given you a lot of his drink...

Have to put your guard up sometimes and say “I’m alright, thank you” and smile lol
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 1 month ago
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ANM775
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(Original post by fenton484)
I'm not gonna lie. I'm lonely. Very lonely. I don't really have any friends. My cousin suggested I join a "friendship app". I was dubious about it, I thought it was asking for trouble, but i have no other way of making friends, so signed up.

I found this guy, and we began talking. yesterday we met at a pub, and drunk, i got drunk, i didnt intend to, he gave a lot of his drink to me and even paid for some of mine. I got the impression he was straight, though looking at him (he's 23, im 18) he looks a lot younger and even joked the other day he'd been asked to prove he was sixteen to buy a can of monster energy.

My mum though has found his instagram profile, and found he is following almost exclusively gay men and boys, some of whom, my mum believes, to be underage (though im 18 so nothing wrong there). I've also fond some pictures of him with filters typically associated with girls or gay boys.

So what do i do? ive asked him outright is he gay, yet to hear a response. My mum is worried im being "groomed" - though told her peadophiles generally go for under 18s - hence ""peado"phile. is he lying to me, does he actually want me for something else and not friendship?


I howled with laughter reading that..

You'd better watch yourself OP :rofl:

this guy definitely has "motives"...
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Slx.24
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(Original post by fenton484)
like where? and yeah IK TSR but its still kind of the same thing as the app - its unknown, i want to be meeting people. im trying to get a job, got an interview next week but even in the job i was in before i didnt mete anyone.
Yeah I feel you irl is better
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fenton484
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(Original post by ANM775)
I howled with laughter reading that..

You'd better watch yourself OP :rofl:

this guy definitely has "motives"...
damn it lol, i think i was too pissed to read too much into it. I'm aspergic so i naturally struggle to interpret peoples motives sometimes but looking back i can see it

I asked him does he fancy me, what do i do if he says yes or what if he just says no, if the latter should i continue to meet him
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ANM775
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(Original post by fenton484)
damn it lol, i think i was too pissed to read too much into it. I'm aspergic so i naturally struggle to interpret peoples motives sometimes but looking back i can see it

I asked him does he fancy me, what do i do if he says yes or what if he just says no, if the latter should i continue to meet him

I can't tell you what to do

but I can tell you what I'd do if he says yes to the question i'd make my excuses and not meet him again, and if he said no i'd also make my excuses and not meet with him...

after him trying to get you drunk like that, I wouldn't trust him..
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fenton484
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(Original post by ANM775)
I can't tell you what to do

but I can tell you what I'd do if he says yes to the question i'd make my excuses and not meet him again, and if he said no i'd also make my excuses and not meet with him...

after him trying to get you drunk like that, I wouldn't trust him..
He said he doesnt fancy me
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ANM775
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(Original post by fenton484)
He said he doesnt fancy me
If you were a hungry spider, and a fly hovering above you asked "are you going to eat me if i come down here?" what would you say?






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the reason why he is saying no is that he doesn't want to scare you off..,
but my mark words, that spider has got plans for you. be very careful you don't fall into his web, because he is definitely spinning one..
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fenton484
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(Original post by ANM775)
If you were a hungry spider, and a fly hovering above you asked "are you going to eat me if i come down here?" what would you say?






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Show
the reason why he is saying no is that he doesn't want to scare you off..,
but my mark words, that spider has got plans for you. be very careful you don't fall into his web, because he is definitely spinning one..
That’s true. argh what is it with me lol I always seem to see people for being nice and well meaning. A few months back, I opened up to someone I thought was a friend about personal stuff. When drunk one night, I stupidly shared some erotic fantasy of mine I had written. He only ended up sharing it to the girl it was about and others. I told myself for months I was in the wrong and he did it for the right reasons, then I noticed whenever I ended up talking about girls with him. The girls in question would block me whenever I messaged them. I figured what had happened but it was too late. Don’t know why I’m such a bad judge of character
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Slx.24
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(Original post by fenton484)
That’s true. argh what is it with me lol I always seem to see people for being nice and well meaning. A few months back, I opened up to someone I thought was a friend about personal stuff. When drunk one night, I stupidly shared some erotic fantasy of mine I had written. He only ended up sharing it to the girl it was about and others. I told myself for months I was in the wrong and he did it for the right reasons, then I noticed whenever I ended up talking about girls with him. The girls in question would block me whenever I messaged them. I figured what had happened but it was too late. Don’t know why I’m such a bad judge of character
Wow that's such a dh move ._.
Don't worry bro you'll get better life's tough and sucks 😔
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