Why don't people like polyamory?

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shooonthebeat
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I never understood why most people are so fixated on having just one partner and they're so worried about getting cheated on. I hate commitment and surely it's better if you're with more girls with no commitment imo. If you're fully committed to one, you gotta deal with all her bs and it's just jarring but if you have more then you don't have to deal with all that as you're not as emotionally involved and it's more fun. If you're less emotionally involved, that's less stress for you and you're less likely to get hurt. What do you think about polyamory?
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Anonymous #1
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i would want a guy who has other girls because if im with this guy i want him to love me for me but if he has other girls then he clearly loves them more.plus how are you supposed to start a family if hes with other girls to? most girls want to start a family one day so we need a guy whos with just them so the kids have their dad around and a dad/bf thats supportive
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jas149
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Polyamory is something that I will never fully understand. Especially when some would say that they love their partner but they wouldn't mind having sex with someone else. I don't get that. How can you claim to love someone and be willing to do something so intimate with someone else? I've always been a "one man at a time" kind of woman. However, I'll never judge them for it. As long as both partners agree that their significant other can sleep with whomever they like, then that's fine. Plus the example you've given doesn't sound like a polyamorous relationship. It sounds more like casual hook-ups. Polyamorous relationships still require a commitment but just with multiple people
Last edited by jas149; 1 month ago
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Final Fantasy
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The idea of some other guy being intimate or sticking his penis in my partner doesn't sound very appealing to me. Fortunately, I have standards and a bit of dignity.

But you do you, I guess.
Last edited by Final Fantasy; 1 month ago
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shooonthebeat
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i would want a guy who has other girls because if im with this guy i want him to love me for me but if he has other girls then he clearly loves them more.plus how are you supposed to start a family if hes with other girls to? most girls want to start a family one day so we need a guy whos with just them so the kids have their dad around and a dad/bf thats supportive
He can still love you even if he has others, just because he has others it doesn't necessarily mean that he loves them more. Good point about family, I see where you coming from. I guess it would be harder to have a family in a polyamorous relationship.
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shooonthebeat
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(Original post by Final Fantasy)
The idea of some other guy being intimate or sticking his penis in my partner doesn't sound very appealing to me. Fortunately, I have standards and a bit of dignity.

But you do you, I guess.
Does it really matter if you're doing the same? You can both have multiple partners and polyamory isn't just about the sex.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shooonthebeat)
He can still love you even if he has others, just because he has others it doesn't necessarily mean that he loves them more. Good point about family, I see where you coming from. I guess it would be harder to have a family in a polyamorous relationship.
how do you know.ypu cant know if he loves one girl more then the other because your relationship wont be as strong.in a relationship one thing i personally look for is someone who is loyal and reliable.how can he be loyal if hes ****ing around with other girls? how can he be reliable when hes with these other girls? its not practical in the long run.sure short time relationship it could work but not a long term.
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_gcx
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(Original post by jas149)
Polyamory is something that I will never fully understand. Especially when some would say that they love their partner but they wouldn't mind having sex with someone else. I don't get that. How can you claim to love someone and be willing to do something so intimate with someone else? I've always been a "one man at a time" kind of woman. However, I'll never judge them for it. As long as both partners agree that their significant other can sleep with whomever they like, then that's fine. Plus the example you've given doesn't sound like a polyamorous relationship. It sounds more like casual hook-ups. Polyamorous relationships still require a commitment but just with multiple people
In my mind, it isn't that complicated: some people don't view sex as intimately as you describe.
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shooonthebeat
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(Original post by jas149)
Polyamory is something that I will never fully understand. Especially when some would say that they love their partner but they wouldn't mind having sex with someone else. I don't get that. How can you claim to love someone and be willing to do something so intimate with someone else? I've always been a "one man at a time" kind of woman. However, I'll never judge them for it. As long as both partners agree that their significant other can sleep with whomever they like, then that's fine. Plus the example you've given doesn't sound like a polyamorous relationship. It sounds more like casual hook-ups. Polyamorous relationships still require a commitment but just with multiple people
Ah okay I think you might be right about that last part. Some people just have a very high sex drive so one partner may not be enough for them. Also I believe you can love and be intimate with more than one person at the same time.
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Final Fantasy
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(Original post by shooonthebeat)
Does it really matter if you're doing the same? You can both have multiple partners and polyamory isn't just about the sex.
That's why I said being intimate as well. Doesn't even have to be physical. I want my partner to be in a long-term committed relationship to me, and I to her.
Last edited by Final Fantasy; 1 month ago
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shooonthebeat
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(Original post by Anonymous)
how do you know.ypu cant know if he loves one girl more then the other because your relationship wont be as strong.in a relationship one thing i personally look for is someone who is loyal and reliable.how can he be loyal if hes ****ing around with other girls? how can he be reliable when hes with these other girls? its not practical in the long run.sure short time relationship it could work but not a long term.
It's still loyal because he's not doing it behind your back, he's straight up telling you that he has others and he's okay with you having others too. There's not really a way to tell if he loves others more because you can't really measure love but as long as everyone is happy does it really matter? Also I think it could actually work long term because with more partners you're all supporting each other (financially, emotionally etc.) which makes things easier than having to deal with everything with only 2 people.
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_gcx
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I would only ever do polyamory in the sense of "swinging" together, ie. hooking up with other people or couples as a couple. I don't think it'd work for me otherwise.
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Anonymous #2
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I honestly would never be in a polyamorous relationship, not because I think that it is bad or anything, it's because I would feel insecure if my significant other was with other people. It would also make me feel like I am not enough for them.
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StriderHort
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If you're so scared of commitment then there's no one to put up with your BS when you really need it. FWBs tend to melt into the background when life gets tough.
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shooonthebeat
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I honestly would never be in a polyamorous relationship, not because I think that it is bad or anything, it's because I would feel insecure if my significant other was with other people. It would also make me feel like I am not enough for them.
Understandable, I can see why you might feel like that but that may not necessarily be the case. If your partner has others that doesn't really mean that you're not enough for them, polyamorous people just prefer to have multiple partners. Also if it makes you feel bad that your partner is with others then you can be with others too. I understand that polyamory isn't for everyone though so I respect your choices.
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Theloniouss
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If you want that, good for you. Personally, I want commitment from a relationship and I'm not entirely convinced that humans actually want polyamory.
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shooonthebeat
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(Original post by Theloniouss)
If you want that, good for you. Personally, I want commitment from a relationship and I'm not entirely convinced that humans actually want polyamory.
Tbh you can have committed polyamorous relationships and I personally believe that could work better than monogamous as you have more people all supporting each other together.
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Anonymous #3
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It's more of a way to shame guys to get them to commit to one girl
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_gcx
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(Original post by Theloniouss)
If you want that, good for you. Personally, I want commitment from a relationship and I'm not entirely convinced that humans actually want polyamory.
You would be surprised. It seems very common in some communities. In a way, monogamy is the thing that's contrived. That said, society isn't really set up for polyamory.
Last edited by _gcx; 1 month ago
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Final Fantasy
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(Original post by _gcx)
You would be surprised. It seems very common in some communities. In a way, monogamy is the thing that's contrived. That said, society isn't really set up for polyamory.
Usually throughout history, across most societies and cultures around the world it seems like monogamy is most dominant. Possibly due to religious influences over the past few millenia though.
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