Why don't people like polyamory?

Scroll to see replies

Sorry but why does everyone have to like it?

Yeah I'm gonna be that person today. I'm so ****ing tired of everyone whining about their life choices. You wanna sleep around - go for it. You're gay? Cool I'm happy for you. You're asexual? Nothing wrong with that. You wanna save yourself for marriage? Ok good for you. You're attracted to animals? A bit weird but hey it is what it is. You're attracted to fat people? Well fat people need love too. But this whole bs about 'why doesn't the whole world like or accept it' - like why the **** does it matter? And why should everyone accept it? Do you and stop giving a **** whether anyone else likes it. The whole world will never agree with one thing.

Reply 21

username4521132

don't agree with it and tbh sounds trashy
but what gives me the right to judge

Reply 22

ważzer

Polyamory is by default objectification of people. It uses this dehumanising hierarchy of primary partner, nesting partner et veteran which grades people on their worth to a specific person. Not only that but many individuals will often 'poly bomb' their partner during a monogamic relationship, putting pressure to open up the relationship into polyamory, which is a way for them to cheat without feeling guilty. It is favoured by avoidant and immature individuals because it requires no commitment, no dedication. It is pure hedonism. Don't dress it up mate. You just want to shag around. Most people will have no problem with it, but don't act as if polyamory is at all compatible to monogamy.

Reply 23

_gcx

Study Forum Helper

Original post by ważzer

Really you get nowhere fussing about objectification. In a way any sort of lust is objectification. I prefer to call it a more "functional" approach. I don't see anything wrong with hedonism either. The vast majority of it just derives from religion and often reads to me like "you should severely restrict your own pleasure" but doesn't really do a good job explaining why. The logic behind it falls apart with religious influence. The "poly bomb" is just bad polyamory, it is not really due to anything inherent to polyamory. Good/ethical polyamory depends on good communication, keeping each-other aware, (it is generally not completely uncontrolled and a free-for-all, that is generally considered bad polyamory and glorified cheating as you say) and so on.

In the end, people want different things. If they just want someone to have sex with no deep emotional attachment, I don't think there's any issue with that, different strokes for different folks. As a society we shouldn't force people into any one set of rules for their relationship, people should be able to define them for themselves without being pressured by norms. I've always thought that is commitment and loyality are a burden for someone, rather than something that they automatically want to do out of genuine love, then maybe monogamy just isn't for them. And it's in our interest to present it as a feasible option - there are people who get into monogamous relationships, even when they are fully aware that they won't stay faithful, just because "that's the thing people do". (having polyamory as a reasonable alternative would hopefully mean these people eventually remove themselves from the monogamous dating pool) Of course - this would be contingent on them caring enough about hurting people.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 24

_gcx

Study Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymusy

I don't get open relationships/marriages. Like if you can't commit to one person then why get into a relationship or get married at all? Stay single and sleep with or be with as many people as you want at the same time with no strings attached then no one will get hurt as long as all the people are ok with it.

Not sure I get this - you've more or less described a configuration of polyamory with the second part. One reason why someone might want to have a "main" partner would be the consistency you have. It's not my cup of tea but I can see why people would be fine with it.

Reply 25

shooonthebeat

Original post by Delusion6

If you are happy being a simp to a hoe then you go right ahead my friend.

How is it being a simp if you got multiple partners as well? 😂

Reply 26

shooonthebeat

Original post by heermeet

Not saying everyone has to like to but most people see it as a negative thing because they don't know much about what it actually is. I agree with what you saying tho.

Reply 27

shooonthebeat

Fair enough, polyamory isn't for everyone ig.

Reply 28

Theloniouss

Universities Forum Helper

Original post by shooonthebeat

Not saying everyone has to like to but most people see it as a negative thing because they don't know much about what it actually is. I agree with what you saying tho.

Everyone knows what polyamory is. Some people just don't like it.

Reply 29

shooonthebeat

Original post by Theloniouss

Everyone knows what polyamory is. Some people just don't like it.

A lot of people have wrong conceptions about it and think it's just sexual but it's more than that.

Reply 30

_gcx

Study Forum Helper

Original post by Theloniouss

Everyone knows what polyamory is. Some people just don't like it.

I would disagree that they know what the spirit is. People know that it's having multiple partners, but people seem to think that it's often done in a complete free-for-all way without serious boundaries.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 31

Delusion6

Original post by shooonthebeat

How is it being a simp if you got multiple partners as well? 😂

Because you're still ok with being with a woman/women who have been with many other guys.

Like if you go to a market to buy an apple and theres only two left - both the same price, both really healthy but one has been touched by many other people and the other has only been picked up by one or two people - which one are you most likely to buy? Yeah you can wash both when you get home and they will still taste the same but still, realistically everyone wants the apple that hasn't been touched that much. In this scenario you're literally eating apples that multiple men have c*m all over. I mean ok dude, whatever makes you happy.

Reply 32

shooonthebeat

Original post by Delusion6

Lol man's comparing women to apples 💀 it's really not that deep bro. What difference does it make if her body count is high? Think about it, does it really matter if she's ****ed 20 different guys or ****ed the same guy 20 times? I don't understand why some people have this obsession with only wanting to be with virgins or women with low body counts, it makes no difference whatsoever.

Reply 33

username5800807

This is not true. Research has shown that there is no difference in satisfaction, commitment and happiness in polyamory and monogamy, but I have have read many cases were polyamory burns spectacularly to the ground. Its not a matter of what is better, but more of which is best for you. I don't think you can love more than one person at a time as that would be a crush, infatuation or attraction. Love is much more than attraction, infatuation, etc. Love requires investment, it needs to be nurtured every single day and most people don't have the time nor the energy to cultivate this for multiple relationships. If you want a scientific reply, its because humans have neural receptors for pair bonding hormones, namely oxytocin and vasopressin. These hormones are only seen in monogamous species and plays no role in non-monogamous species. So these are my reasons why I wouldn't want polyamory and why most people wouldn't want it as well.Ps:- Jealousy is natural for the vast majority of people and it is not necessarily bad to be jealous. In fact, a little bit of jealousy can strengthen your relationship and bring you and your partner closer. Another thing is that I have come across an article that showed that Harvard University researchers may have found genetic signatures of monogamy in humans. I would also recommend you go through the culture-gene co-evolutionary theory, which, in simple terms, states that cultural norms exist to strengthen biological imperative. Hope this helps.

Reply 34

shooonthebeat

Original post by Djrocks234

I agree that it's about what best for you. Personally, I believe you can love more than one person at a time. Most people think polyamory is just about sex but it's much more than that. It's about building your empire together. Why struggle with just two people when you can be stronger with more? United we are stronger!
From a religious perspective, jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins and I believe it is something that we can overcome. People are always going to get jealous at least to some extent, it's in human nature. In any relationship, you need to make compromises for each other. I dislike monogamy but if I was really into one woman then I may consider being monogamous for her. I expect her to do the same with me. Instead of being overly possessive, she should be more accepting of my lifestyle. I would never use polyamory as an excuse to cheat. I'd straight up tell my potential partner that I want to be polyamorous and depending on how they react, we may/may not move forward with the relationship.