feel like people dont want anything to do with me

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Anonymous #1
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hi, so for reference, Ive been struggling with my mental health for 3 years and I struggle with anxiety and depression. Recently, I have realised I'm not close to many people and I feel like they do not want to be friends with me, or want to keep a distance, I always made an effort with people but they never would make an effort with me

how do I focus on myself and love myself ( I think anxiety is a barrier)

any help is appreciated x
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bored_user:)
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heyyy ld love to be friends with you mate! You are not alone okay? We are a community of loving and rational people who are kindhearted! We are always here for you!
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Anonymous #2
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It might be good to try making friends with people in similar situations to you, because they will be more understanding of your issues.
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NonIndigenous
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hi, so for reference, Ive been struggling with my mental health for 3 years and I struggle with anxiety and depression. Recently, I have realised I'm not close to many people and I feel like they do not want to be friends with me, or want to keep a distance, I always made an effort with people but they never would make an effort with me

how do I focus on myself and love myself ( I think anxiety is a barrier)

any help is appreciated x
About 14 months ago I was mentally at one of my lowest points. Now I feel like I am about 60%. I think that authentic recovery takes time. If you don't see results overnight, you should not get discouraged. This is really important, because people who have unrealistic expectations get disappointed the most, and it will inflame their pre-existing conditions of low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, etc.

Be prepared to spend months, maybe even a year, on this.

Avoid giving in to temptations of 'quick fixes' that make you feel temporarily better, like going to wild parties, drugs, or other typical escape mechanisms. I could list loads. Focus on things in your life that genuinely improve your self-esteem in a sustainable and healthy way. Once you feel like you are getting there, you're probably ok treating yourself to occasional raucous entertainment... though I will never encourage anyone to take drugs.

Focus on building long-term friendships and relationships, that feel like they have more depth to them. A lot of depression is caused by people feeling dissociated from others around them. You can even be super-extroverted and surrounded with people, a large family, or lots of flings, but despite that not have any depth to your relationships because all your interactions are superficial. That's a good recipe for developing depression in the future. So avoid that.

It is probably easier to build relationships with people in a similar position. But the trap there potentially is, that you forge a relationship that is built on your mutual misery. Thus, some people will keep themselves miserable, because that is the only thing they know how to talk about with others that makes them feel like they 'belong'. So build relationships instead with people who are focused on self-improvement, but also who don't just talk about themselves all the time. Genuine self-improvement though. Not fad diets. Stuff that actually works.

Asides that I do not really have any specific, measurable advise. Because you haven't described any specific problems.

And go to bed & get up at regular times. And eat right. Such simple things that make a big difference to your mood, which makes a difference to whether people want to be around you.
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