Asian / Muslim perspectives on Arrange marriage?

Im 29yo male, annoyingly still single and in all honesty im fed up of being single.

Im kinda resigned to having an arranged marriage but am honestly apprehensive about a lot of things.

Incase people ask, why dont I ask any of colleagues out why didnt I ask anyone from uni...all those i was interested in uni had arranged marriages when young / were in relationships and in my line of work, I can guarantee I am not remotely interested in my colleagues (my colleagues are on average 12 years older than I am since become a registered health professional and in my currently workplace, I am 1 of 2 people born after the year 1980 (and 1990!)).

I kinda feel like I am being pressurised by my mum, who has mental health problems into getting married, due to her own insecurities about other people. Yes I want to get married and I definitely want to lose my V card and have kids. But the way she is going about it feels too chaotic. She relying on my idiot aunt and cousin to look for people, and has asked someone to spread word in community (about a few years late mind you).

There are some girls in community I would have said yes to in a heartbeat a few years ago, 1 of whom is my former crush & mutual best friends from 6th form, but I honestly dont know a thing about them these days and some of the things I see make me cringe.

Currently it seems there may be 2 ladies interested in me: 1 my ideal age range but too short for my liking and with loads of question marks. The other sounds very good on paper but she is 23, so ~ 7 years younger than me.

So yeah, Muslim / asian users of TSR who are married / in the process of arranged marriages, what are your thoughts and experiences on the subject?

Im 29yo male, annoyingly still single and in all honesty im fed up of being single.

Im kinda resigned to having an arranged marriage but am honestly apprehensive about a lot of things.

Incase people ask, why dont I ask any of colleagues out why didnt I ask anyone from uni...all those i was interested in uni had arranged marriages when young / were in relationships and in my line of work, I can guarantee I am not remotely interested in my colleagues (my colleagues are on average 12 years older than I am since become a registered health professional and in my currently workplace, I am 1 of 2 people born after the year 1980 (and 1990!)).

I kinda feel like I am being pressurised by my mum, who has mental health problems into getting married, due to her own insecurities about other people. Yes I want to get married and I definitely want to lose my V card and have kids. But the way she is going about it feels too chaotic. She relying on my idiot aunt and cousin to look for people, and has asked someone to spread word in community (about a few years late mind you).

There are some girls in community I would have said yes to in a heartbeat a few years ago, 1 of whom is my former crush & mutual best friends from 6th form, but I honestly dont know a thing about them these days and some of the things I see make me cringe.

Currently it seems there may be 2 ladies interested in me: 1 my ideal age range but too short for my liking and with loads of question marks. The other sounds very good on paper but she is 23, so ~ 7 years younger than me.

So yeah, Muslim / asian users of TSR who are married / in the process of arranged marriages, what are your thoughts and experiences on the subject?

Is 7 years too big a gap for you? You can potentially get to know her, see whether you get along better despite the age.

I think you should take some time to get to know both of these women and honestly 7 year age gap isn't too bad, you might still like them. Also is the height really that big of an issue? I'd recommend spending more time with both and seeing if you really like them or not. Don't rush into anything because you'll regret it if it's not the right choice

Nothing wrong at all with arranged marriages all about how you do it
In my family anyways "arranged" means you pick any girl of your liking and your father asked theirs to arrange a meeting you go on a few "dates" (supervised by her brother or mahram who is nearby but not interfering sort of like in a coffee shop but a few tables behind) prevents a one night stand if she's good but not good enough or anything haraam that's pretty much it no forcing no pressure
If you like her cool if not repeat it's like speed dating but with caution

same in my culture - i think of it as an analogue dating app

😂 look I know you feel lonely and sad I'm only 20 and I'm pretty sad only thing I can say is keep hoping you will get the "cinderella ending"
Most people expect it when they're least looking just don't do it because of your mum because you DONT want a divorce
I'd say you can wait 2 more years then consider arranged marriages

I want to get married because I want to move out and have kids. Only problem I have atm is the way my mum is being very aggressive on the matter / seems to be rushing so many things without thinking about repercussions (prime example. wasting X thousand pounds on a £300 job where instead of thinking logically, she hired whomever she could find despite havign virtually no money and using the bank of mum and dad to get a loan - tl;dr I have been the bank of mum and dad since I was 14/15 years old as they keep borrowing money from me (currently owe me between £12,000 and £16,000 - would be more than £20,000 but I wrote off a lot)

I understand that you wanna get married so you can move out and get away from your parents but rushing it won't help because it could potentially lead you into making the wrong decision which may end in divorce. You want something long lasting and for that you need some time to get to know the person before making any big decisions.

I want to get married because I want to move out and have kids. Only problem I have atm is the way my mum is being very aggressive on the matter / seems to be rushing so many things without thinking about repercussions (prime example. wasting X thousand pounds on a £300 job where instead of thinking logically, she hired whomever she could find despite havign virtually no money and using the bank of mum and dad to get a loan - tl;dr I have been the bank of mum and dad since I was 14/15 years old as they keep borrowing money from me (currently owe me between £12,000 and £16,000 - would be more than £20,000 but I wrote off a lot)

Im 29yo male, annoyingly still single and in all honesty im fed up of being single.

Im kinda resigned to having an arranged marriage but am honestly apprehensive about a lot of things.

Incase people ask, why dont I ask any of colleagues out why didnt I ask anyone from uni...all those i was interested in uni had arranged marriages when young / were in relationships and in my line of work, I can guarantee I am not remotely interested in my colleagues (my colleagues are on average 12 years older than I am since become a registered health professional and in my currently workplace, I am 1 of 2 people born after the year 1980 (and 1990!)).

Im 29yo male, annoyingly still single and in all honesty im fed up of being single.

Im kinda resigned to having an arranged marriage but am honestly apprehensive about a lot of things.

Incase people ask, why dont I ask any of colleagues out why didnt I ask anyone from uni...all those i was interested in uni had arranged marriages when young / were in relationships and in my line of work, I can guarantee I am not remotely interested in my colleagues (my colleagues are on average 12 years older than I am since become a registered health professional and in my currently workplace, I am 1 of 2 people born after the year 1980 (and 1990!)).

I kinda feel like I am being pressurised by my mum, who has mental health problems into getting married, due to her own insecurities about other people. Yes I want to get married and I definitely want to lose my V card and have kids. But the way she is going about it feels too chaotic. She relying on my idiot aunt and cousin to look for people, and has asked someone to spread word in community (about a few years late mind you).

There are some girls in community I would have said yes to in a heartbeat a few years ago, 1 of whom is my former crush & mutual best friends from 6th form, but I honestly dont know a thing about them these days and some of the things I see make me cringe.

Currently it seems there may be 2 ladies interested in me: 1 my ideal age range but too short for my liking and with loads of question marks. The other sounds very good on paper but she is 23, so ~ 7 years younger than me.

So yeah, Muslim / asian users of TSR who are married / in the process of arranged marriages, what are your thoughts and experiences on the subject?

absolutely. with me id go on a few dates before deciding to propose and having a fair(ish) engagement period of 3-12 months before nikah

You seem to have a lot on your plate maybe one thing at a time first sort out the matters with your parents you can't have them being that dependant on you when you have wife and kids to take care of
Worry about marriage round 30/31 not a matter to be rushed

Download a dating app. Like the muslim ones that are for marriage