Is my driving instructor inappropriate?

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Anonymous #1
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I might be being a bit of a snowflake but I can’t stop thinking about it. Since is started my driving lessons last year, my driving instructor started of saying that he was a like my friend that was teaching me to drive. He used to give my high fives and stuff when I did things well, which I think is appropriate and normal. However since booking my test a couple of weeks ago, things have got a bit weird. He always calls me sweetheart and darling and I feel that he does unnecessary physical contact. Like at the start of one of the lessons I walked up to the car, he put his hand on my stomach and said I had a nice flat stomach ( yes I was wearing a short top but it was perfectly appropriate and it was 26 degrees). When we got in the car he said I smelt nice. When we started driving he asked me what I had done to my hair said it looked nice. During the lesson he touched my thigh about 6 times. In another lesson we continued to tough my thigh and rub my arm. When we had parked up he rubbed my arm a couple of times and kept holding my arm for like 20 seconds. Another time I had both my hands resting on my thigh when he was talking to me and then we reached over and out his hand over mine and squeezed them and was like proper looking into my eyes.This has sort of escalated since I booked my test last week. It just makes me feel uncomfortable but just want to know if I’m over reacting ?
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tinygirl96
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ew
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glassalice
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Have you been watching the Inbetweeners?

If you aren't trolling, you should cancel any future driving lessons. Seriously consider reporting him to the police. This man is a predator, you are not a snowflake.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by glassalice)
Have you been watching the Inbetweeners?

If you aren't trolling, you should cancel any future driving lessons. Seriously consider reporting him to the police. This man is a predator, you are not a snowflake.
No it’s completely true. I’ve got one lesson next week and then my driving test which I’m confident I’ll pass so the I’ll never have to see him again.
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glassalice
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No it’s completely true. I’ve got one lesson next week and then my driving test which I’m confident I’ll pass so the I’ll never have to see him again.
I am wondering if you could some how record the driving lesson so that you have evidence to present to the police.

I am sorry that you are having to put yourself through this- you are braver than me.
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Anonymous #1
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Another thing. He said that we don’t have to wear masks when we are driving. But I’m pretty sure it’s a legal requirement to wear masks? When I’ve seen him driving around he always has a mask on. It’s a bit weird. He also talks about sex quite a bit. Like today he told me that I was speeding and then made a joke about going to prison and then he said that prison would be great because you get free food and sex when you want it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by glassalice)
I am wondering if you could some how record the driving lesson so that you have evidence to present to the police.

I am sorry that you are having to put yourself through this- you are braver than me.
It just made me shiver today when he held my hand and I knew it was wrong. I drive auto aswell do there isn’t really any reason why he should be touching me apart from the steering wheel maybe, but I’m a pretty good driver so I don’t think he would need to
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shooonthebeat
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Another thing. He said that we don’t have to wear masks when we are driving. But I’m pretty sure it’s a legal requirement to wear masks? When I’ve seen him driving around he always has a mask on. It’s a bit weird. He also talks about sex quite a bit. Like today he told me that I was speeding and then made a joke about going to prison and then he said that prison would be great because you get free food and sex when you want it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure masks are still a requirement for driving lessons, I still have to wear masks with my instructor. From what you've said, your instruction seems like a creepy predator and you should definitely cancel all lessons with him and maybe even report his inappropriate behaviour. The fact that he's talking about sex as well just makes it even worse.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shooonthebeat)
Yeah I'm pretty sure masks are still a requirement for driving lessons, I still have to wear masks with my instructor. From what you've said, your instruction seems like a creepy predator and you should definitely cancel all lessons with him and maybe even report his inappropriate behaviour. The fact that he's talking about sex as well just makes it even worse.
Like I just want to know what other people’s lessons are like because I’ve never had another driving instructor. Like does your instructor ever give you high fives or anything?
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Anonymous #1
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He always says as well that I look like I’m 14 and that when I go to uni all the boys will be all over me.
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ANM775
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No it’s completely true. I’ve got one lesson next week and then my driving test which I’m confident I’ll pass so the I’ll never have to see him again.
He has factored that in too and is likely to make the BIG move next time you see him.

If you want my advice, cancel it and switch instructors..
Last edited by ANM775; 1 month ago
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Jaz._bg
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Normally driving instructors have dashcams in their cars or at least mine does so there should definitely be some audio evidence of him saying these things to you and although it cannot be seen in the video that he's touching you there should be some sounds that point to what he's evidently doing. I suggest definitely trying to find another driving instructor so that the situation doesn't escalate and there's a section in the government website where you can report driving instructors so I say definitely do that so then he won't continue to do it to his other students. But I really hope you're okay this sounds so bad!!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ANM775)
He has factored that in too and is likely to make the BIG move next time you see him.

If you want my advice, cancel it and switch instructors..
It’s actually making me feel quite scared. Like I don’t really know why I’m having another 2 hours before my test because I feel really confident.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Jaz._bg)
Normally driving instructors have dashcams in their cars or at least mine does so there should definitely be some audio evidence of him saying these things to you and although it cannot be seen in the video that he's touching you there should be some sounds that point to what he's evidently doing. I suggest definitely trying to find another driving instructor so that the situation doesn't escalate and there's a section in the government website where you can report driving instructors so I say definitely do that so then he won't continue to do it to his other students. But I really hope you're okay this sounds so bad!!
It’s weird because a girl in my class this year has the same instructor as me and I used to talk to her about him and some of the stuff he said to me and she had no idea what I was on about. Like he used to tell me how his wife has an affair and left him and told me about his pets almost like he was trying to be my friend. I told her this and she had no idea what I was on about because he had never told her this stuff
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jenerous
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You aren't overthinking it, no. That is not, bhy any stretch, the professional behaviour expected from a driving instructor so it is perfectly reasonable for you to think that, and I strongly suggest changing your driving instructor and not continuing with him any longer.
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MemoriesOfFields
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To be honest, it sounds like he is escalating things rapidly because he knows his time with access to you is shrinking.

You say you have one lesson left: if you are determined to attend, I would strongly recommend having someone else accompany you in the car. If you don't want to do this, I definitely recommend having someone visibly with you when you meet him for the lesson and make a clear declaration that this person will be waiting for you to be dropped off at a specific location at a specific time. Also make sure that this person can track you on your phone. The same applies if the instructor is driving you to/from your test.
Last edited by MemoriesOfFields; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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I just keep thinking of things. Like when it was hot a couple of weeks ago, I was wearing a short sleeve top. On my arms are some old self harm scars which he saw. He didn’t say anything but I could see him looking. This sort of coincided with things getting inappropriate. Maybe he sees me as vulnerable ?
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Justaboutalive
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He's defo behaving inappropriately, and you should not take any more lessons with him alone, at the very least.
Also you should report him.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MemoriesOfFields)
To be honest, it sounds like he is escalating things rapidly because he knows his time with access to you is shrinking.

You say you have one lesson left: if you are determined to attend, I would strongly recommend having someone else accompany you. If you don't want to do this, I definitely recommend having someone visibly with you when you meet him for the lesson and make a clear declaration that this person will be waiting for you to be dropped off at a specific location at a specific time. Also make sure that this person can track you on your phone. The same applies if the instructor is driving you to/from your test.
I’ve got 2 hours on Tuesday and then an hour before my test on Friday where he is going to pick me up.
I’m so scared now. I think I’m going to try and get a different instructor.
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MemoriesOfFields
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve got 2 hours on Tuesday and then an hour before my test on Friday where he is going to pick me up.
I’m so scared now. I think I’m going to try and get a different instructor.
Yes, that sounds sensible.
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