Friend said there's no point being mates if I don't meet up

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Anonymous #1
#1
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Is he right? I text often and stuff but don't meet because I can't. He's mentioned it a few times and got upset with me but now he's saying he's been so upset with me because when he arranges plans I never come, he said there's no point being mates if I don't go out and then said I think it's best if we don't talk for a bit.
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lil_lily__
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#2
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as someone who has a super busy best friend, it can be hard. especially because you start to feel that they just don't like or care about you enough to make time for you, even when it's not the case. so I can see where he is coming from, but obviously, if you are just busy and you really don't have the time, then it's not your fault and it's not great that he's making you feel bad about something that is out of your control. I'd say to just try to make sure he knows that you do actually care about him and value him as a friend, and just try to help him understand that it's not just you not wanting to meet, but the fact that you can't. and maybe try to find some time to meet, even if it's not super soon and not for long.
Last edited by lil_lily__; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by lil_lily__)
as someone who has a super busy best friend, it can be hard. especially because you start to feel that they just don't like or care about you enough to make time for you, even when it's not the case. so I can see where he is coming from, but obviously, if you are just busy and you really don't have the time, then it's not your fault and it's not great that he's making you feel bad about something that is out of your control. I'd say to just try to make sure he knows that you do actually care about him and value him as a friend, and just try to help him understand that it's not just you not wanting to meet, but the fact that you can't. and maybe try to find some time to meet, even if it's not super soon and not for long.
Sometimes you can't make time
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lil_lily__
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sometimes you can't make time
i know, which is why i gave other options. you could always try facetiming occasionally I guess?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by lil_lily__)
i know, which is why i gave other options. you could always try facetiming occasionally I guess?
I do but they still think it's not good enough
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WazzWazz98
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I do but they still think it's not good enough
I mean we have been under lockdown for over 18 months on and off, so they should be used to not meeting in person
they should be more understanding if they're genuinely your friend
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WazzWazz98)
I mean we have been under lockdown for over 18 months on and off, so they should be used to not meeting in person
they should be more understanding if they're genuinely your friend
They were just in like lockdown say we need to really meet up after and they did a lot but I never went
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lil_lily__
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(Original post by WazzWazz98)
I mean we have been under lockdown for over 18 months on and off, so they should be used to not meeting in person
they should be more understanding if they're genuinely your friend
I agree, it's not like you have suddenly stopped meeting up with them, you haven't even been able to for most of the past year!
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Foxehh
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What do you mean by "when he arranges plans I never come"? Do you tell him you're going to show up to things and flake out at the last second? If thats what you're doing then its plain rude, 'being busy' isnt an excuse. Dont make time commitments if you cant follow through with them.
If you mean something else then its still hard to believe that you never have time to see your friend. Everyone has freetime. It makes sense why he'd feel you arent making an effort into the friendship.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Foxehh)
What do you mean by "when he arranges plans I never come"? Do you tell him you're going to show up to things and flake out at the last second? If thats what you're doing then its plain rude, 'being busy' isnt an excuse. Dont make time commitments if you cant follow through with them.
If you mean something else then its still hard to believe that you never have time to see your friend. Everyone has freetime. It makes sense why he'd feel you arent making an effort into the friendship.
No I just say I'm busy straight away but also I can't drive yet so have no way of getting there even when I am free. I did say 1 time I'll come because I was free and a famliy member was free to give me a lift but then my family member had something come up so I couldn't meet my friend so I told them with notice. I'm busy a lot but even when I am free I can't get there anyway until I drive so that what I say
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Foxehh
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No I just say I'm busy straight away but also I can't drive yet so have no way of getting there even when I am free. I did say 1 time I'll come because I was free and a famliy member was free to give me a lift but then my family member had something come up so I couldn't meet my friend so I told them with notice. I'm busy a lot but even when I am free I can't get there anyway until I drive so that what I say
Have you explained to him that you dont have anyone to drive you? Saying you're busy all the time sounds like an excuse. Assuming he can drive, why dont you ask him to pick you up or something?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Foxehh)
Have you explained to him that you dont have anyone to drive you? Saying you're busy all the time sounds like an excuse. Assuming he can drive, why dont you ask him to pick you up or something?
Yes I've said that. I am busy all the time though so ots not an excuse. None of them can drive
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Anonymous #1
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Bump
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I've said that. I am busy all the time though so ots not an excuse. None of them can drive
Busy with what?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Busy with what?
Just working and stuff or doing things at home etc
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Anonymous #1
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Anyone else?
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