should i break up with my boyfriend?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
we have been together for 4 months, things are going well..but he has no plans for himself or for the future like money, job etc. should it bother me?

he didn't go to college and works a low paying job and I'm a college student with a part-time job....I don't depend on him for anything though,we are both independent...are my standards too high?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
we have been together for 4 months, things are going well..but he has no plans for himself or for the future like money, job etc. should it bother me?

he didn't go to college and works a low paying job and I'm a college student with a part-time job....I don't depend on him for anything though,we are both independent...are my standards too high?
Best to break up with him
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Anonymous #3
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m

(Original post by Anonymous)
we have been together for 4 months, things are going well..but he has no plans for himself or for the future like money, job etc. should it bother me?

he didn't go to college and works a low paying job and I'm a college student with a part-time job....I don't depend on him for anything though,we are both independent...are my standards too high?
love him for who he is, not what he has and doesnt have
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
m


love him for who he is, not what he has and doesnt have
i do love him for who he is but he has no goals for himself at all
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Anonymous #1
#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Best to break up with him
i think its best as well, but I really like him,i just feel like he is kind of holding me back from achieving my own goals
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gaskell625
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i think its best as well, but I really like him,i just feel like he is kind of holding me back from achieving my own goals
Break up with him you can't let him hold you back for achieveing your dreams it becomes toxin and you feel worthless you can DO THIS! your amazing and you have the right to end this and live your best life xxxxx
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Bio 7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i think its best as well, but I really like him,i just feel like he is kind of holding me back from achieving my own goals
How is he doing that?
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WazzWazz98
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(Original post by Anonymous)
we have been together for 4 months, things are going well..but he has no plans for himself or for the future like money, job etc. should it bother me?

he didn't go to college and works a low paying job and I'm a college student with a part-time job....I don't depend on him for anything though,we are both independent...are my standards too high?
You are both still young and everyone has to start off from somewhere
Neither of you depend on each other so how much he earns shouldn't be a huge issue

It's unreasonable to assume he would be well on his way to achieving his life goals but I guess everyone should have something to aim for

As for feeling he is holding you back .... Are you embarrassed by him because he isn't as educated ?

There's nothing wrong with wanting someone who has the same approach to life as yourself (if you do want someone who is as educated as yourself etc and that's a deal-breaker then probably best to break up rather than being unhappy ) but it is wrong to belittle him

Remember that you're only working part time yourself so you're both only starting out so maybe it's a bit unfair to think him as inferior
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gaskell625)
Break up with him you can't let him hold you back for achieveing your dreams it becomes toxin and you feel worthless you can DO THIS! your amazing and you have the right to end this and live your best life xxxxx
this encouraged me so much!!! thank you!!! <3 <3
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Son of the Sea
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I don't think those are high standards at all. I think it's fairly normal for lots of people to want a partner who is going places or at least has ambition and set goals in mind.
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gaskell625
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(Original post by Anonymous)
this encouraged me so much!!! thank you!!! <3 <3
COOL I wanna follow you and become friends but your anonymous anyway you can take yourself off only if you feel comftable to do so.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Bio 7)
How is he doing that?
because we both have to think about the future...i would want to get married to him and I want stability in the relationship
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gaskell625
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true stability is key xx
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WazzWazz98)
You are both still young and everyone has to start off from somewhere
Neither of you depend on each other so how much he earns shouldn't be a huge issue

It's unreasonable to assume he would be well on his way to achieving his life goals but I guess everyone should have something to aim for

As for feeling he is holding you back .... Are you embarrassed by him because he isn't as educated ?

There's nothing wrong with wanting someone who has the same approach to life as yourself (if you do want someone who is as educated as yourself etc and that's a deal-breaker then probably best to break up rather than being unhappy ) but it is wrong to belittle him

Remember that you're only working part time yourself so you're both only starting out so maybe it's a bit unfair to think him as inferior
oh no, I am not embarrassed by him at all, and idc that he didn't go to college, college isn't that necessary tbh but I am talking about goals here, financial stability..... he is 26, I'm 20.....we are both at different stages in life and I feel like, at his age, he should have something serious going for himself
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lanasauricfield
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break up with him your standards are never too high. the fact that your having second thoughts should be anough of an answsrr to break up with him. life goals are important and if you don’t break up now you will later on down the line when it annoys you more
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
we have been together for 4 months, things are going well..but he has no plans for himself or for the future like money, job etc. should it bother me?

he didn't go to college and works a low paying job and I'm a college student with a part-time job....I don't depend on him for anything though,we are both independent...are my standards too high?
If you're questioning it then you should probably break up with him. I get where you're coming from because I'd also want to be with someone who has their life somewhat figured out or at least has ambitions/goals just like me. It's quite a taboo topic but money is a big thing especially when you're an adult. Most relationships won't work if only one party is thinking about the long-term and wants financial stability and the other is the complete opposite, has no career goals or completely different plans for the future
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
we have been together for 4 months, things are going well..but he has no plans for himself or for the future like money, job etc. should it bother me?

he didn't go to college and works a low paying job and I'm a college student with a part-time job....I don't depend on him for anything though,we are both independent...are my standards too high?
I'm a girl and my standards are:

- 7-10 years older than me
- minimum GCSE's and level 3 diploma or A-levels(they don't need degree but need moderate intelligence which is graduated sixthform/highschool)
- Over 5'10 (I might overlook that if I really like him)
- Full time job(no lazy unemployed or part time work)
- Has to have thick hair (no short cuts or bald)
- Has to be romantic
- Sex at least once a week
- Has to enjoy kissing or holding hands
- Mature
-Kind
-Responsible
-No excess drinking (can of beer or glass of wine is fine but I don't want him drunk all the time )
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Anonymous #6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a girl and my standards are:

- 7-10 years older than me
- minimum GCSE's and level 3 diploma or A-levels(they don't need degree but need moderate intelligence which is graduated sixthform/highschool)
- Over 5'10 (I might overlook that if I really like him)
- Full time job(no lazy unemployed or part time work)
- Has to have thick hair (no short cuts or bald)
- Has to be romantic
- Sex at least once a week
- Has to enjoy kissing or holding hands
- Mature
-Kind
-Responsible
-No excess drinking (can of beer or glass of wine is fine but I don't want him drunk all the time )
I'm a guy and lets see if I can fit any of these (haha):

7-10 years older than me
I'm 28, so no idea if this is a match or not.

minimum GCSE's and level 3 diploma or A-levels(they don't need degree but need moderate intelligence which is graduated sixthform/highschool)
Got 11 GCSE's, 4 A-Levels + 1 degree in ICT (2:1)

Over 5'10 (I might overlook that if I really like him)
I'm 6'1, so passed this one.

Full time job(no lazy unemployed or part time work)
Yep. Work in cyber security.

Has to have thick hair (no short cuts or bald)
My head hair is reasonably thick, not long.

Has to be romantic
Friends have said I'm quite romantic, so I'll take their word over mine.

Sex at least once a week
Can do, but distance is a key factor.

Has to enjoy kissing or holding hands
Best things about being affectionate in a relationship / get-together.

Mature, Kind & Responsible
I would say I fit these three very well.

No excess drinking

Rarely drink anyway. Don't smoke, do drugs or anything of that nature.
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a guy and lets see if I can fit any of these (haha):

7-10 years older than me
I'm 28, so no idea if this is a match or not.

minimum GCSE's and level 3 diploma or A-levels(they don't need degree but need moderate intelligence which is graduated sixthform/highschool)
Got 11 GCSE's, 4 A-Levels + 1 degree in ICT (2:1)

Over 5'10 (I might overlook that if I really like him)
I'm 6'1, so passed this one.

Full time job(no lazy unemployed or part time work)
Yep. Work in cyber security.

Has to have thick hair (no short cuts or bald)
My head hair is reasonably thick, not long.

Has to be romantic
Friends have said I'm quite romantic, so I'll take their word over mine.

Sex at least once a week
Can do, but distance is a key factor.

Has to enjoy kissing or holding hands
Best things about being affectionate in a relationship / get-together.

Mature, Kind & Responsible
I would say I fit these three very well.

No excess drinking

Rarely drink anyway. Don't smoke, do drugs or anything of that nature.
You fit all of them lol. How many girls have you dated before?
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WazzWazz98
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#20
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(Original post by Anonymous)
oh no, I am not embarrassed by him at all, and idc that he didn't go to college, college isn't that necessary tbh but I am talking about goals here, financial stability..... he is 26, I'm 20.....we are both at different stages in life and I feel like, at his age, he should have something serious going for himself
Thanks for providing more context op
In that case I would agree with you

If you've had a serious talk with him and he can't provide an answer then you are right to consider breaking up - as you've rightly mentioned you are at completely different stages
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