Intercourse snd disrespecting your partners body

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
My bf has 2 kids already. I don’t have any and don’t want any for a while minimum 5/6 years. Hence why I take birth control. I was on the implant for 3 years worst thing I ever did because of the side effects I gained so much weight snd depression. Now I’m on the pill. Which you take everyday same time however you can take it within 12 hours of the time you take it also.

Today I didn’t take it and it pasted 12 hours ,so I told my boyfriend not to *** in me as this worked for us in our first 6 months ,as I forgot it. He said ok.

We had a reallly good night. And we’ve been really good recently. So we had sex and he cummed Inside me. I was soooo upset and angry because I had told him not to. He’s done this before once and I took plan b in which I do not like taking and this was like 2 months ago. He apologised snd I said it was fine because I understand it was a mistake.

However it’s not like he can’t control it because first 6 months he did. And i feel if you can’t control it you shouldn’t be having sex.

I was so angry and I was about to go home as I wasn’t staying the night he told me to stay and he’ll make it up to me idk how but I said no and booked my Uber and left his house. If he didn’t agree to me I wouldn’t have done it or I would of blamed myself however it was mutual And told him he should respect my body. And if I get pregnant I’ll be aborting it because I don’t want a child and now I’ve been put it in that situation. He kept saying sorry sorry sorry but he’s said sorry before and did it again. He said I shouldn’t escalate situation because we’ve had a good night and I told him this is more important than a good day and he said he knows.

I don’t believe he did it maliciously because I know he cares about me. However I feel like this needs to NOT HAPPEN AGAIN because it’s a serious thing. I rarely ever forget to take it it’s only happened once before. And I would tell him in advance.

Am I being a *****?
Is it ok to feel like this?

Sometimes I’m dramatic but with things like this I don’t play around.
0
reply
WazzWazz98
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
My bf has 2 kids already. I don’t have any and don’t want any for a while minimum 5/6 years. Hence why I take birth control. I was on the implant for 3 years worst thing I ever did because of the side effects I gained so much weight snd depression. Now I’m on the pill. Which you take everyday same time however you can take it within 12 hours of the time you take it also.

Today I didn’t take it and it pasted 12 hours ,so I told my boyfriend not to *** in me as this worked for us in our first 6 months ,as I forgot it. He said ok.

We had a reallly good night. And we’ve been really good recently. So we had sex and he cummed Inside me. I was soooo upset and angry because I had told him not to. He’s done this before once and I took plan b in which I do not like taking and this was like 2 months ago. He apologised snd I said it was fine because I understand it was a mistake.

However it’s not like he can’t control it because first 6 months he did. And i feel if you can’t control it you shouldn’t be having sex.

I was so angry and I was about to go home as I wasn’t staying the night he told me to stay and he’ll make it up to me idk how but I said no and booked my Uber and left his house. If he didn’t agree to me I wouldn’t have done it or I would of blamed myself however it was mutual And told him he should respect my body. And if I get pregnant I’ll be aborting it because I don’t want a child and now I’ve been put it in that situation. He kept saying sorry sorry sorry but he’s said sorry before and did it again. He said I shouldn’t escalate situation because we’ve had a good night and I told him this is more important than a good day and he said he knows.

I don’t believe he did it maliciously because I know he cares about me. However I feel like this needs to NOT HAPPEN AGAIN because it’s a serious thing. I rarely ever forget to take it it’s only happened once before. And I would tell him in advance.

Am I being a b I t c h?
Is it ok to feel like this?

Sometimes I’m dramatic but with things like this I don’t play around.
He did that without your consent so technically that's actually [email protected]
He has no right to trivialise the issue
2
reply
SlaveofAll
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
Maybe a time apart from each should help you two think things through.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
My bf has 2 kids already. I don’t have any and don’t want any for a while minimum 5/6 years. Hence why I take birth control. I was on the implant for 3 years worst thing I ever did because of the side effects I gained so much weight snd depression. Now I’m on the pill. Which you take everyday same time however you can take it within 12 hours of the time you take it also.

Today I didn’t take it and it pasted 12 hours ,so I told my boyfriend not to *** in me as this worked for us in our first 6 months ,as I forgot it. He said ok.

We had a reallly good night. And we’ve been really good recently. So we had sex and he cummed Inside me. I was soooo upset and angry because I had told him not to. He’s done this before once and I took plan b in which I do not like taking and this was like 2 months ago. He apologised snd I said it was fine because I understand it was a mistake.

However it’s not like he can’t control it because first 6 months he did. And i feel if you can’t control it you shouldn’t be having sex.

I was so angry and I was about to go home as I wasn’t staying the night he told me to stay and he’ll make it up to me idk how but I said no and booked my Uber and left his house. If he didn’t agree to me I wouldn’t have done it or I would of blamed myself however it was mutual And told him he should respect my body. And if I get pregnant I’ll be aborting it because I don’t want a child and now I’ve been put it in that situation. He kept saying sorry sorry sorry but he’s said sorry before and did it again. He said I shouldn’t escalate situation because we’ve had a good night and I told him this is more important than a good day and he said he knows.

I don’t believe he did it maliciously because I know he cares about me. However I feel like this needs to NOT HAPPEN AGAIN because it’s a serious thing. I rarely ever forget to take it it’s only happened once before. And I would tell him in advance.

Am I being a b I t c h?
Is it ok to feel like this?

Sometimes I’m dramatic but with things like this I don’t play around.
Personally, I don't think you are in the wrong at all for leaving that situation. It is your body and he had to respect that which he didn't. Other than trusting he won't do it again however, there is little else that can be done to concretely bolster the fact you don't want it happening again.

You should sit down with him properly and discuss how it made you feel and that you do not want it happening again. Make sure he listens to you fully before replying so that your opinion is heard. I don't think it sounds like anything malicious though from the context provided.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
You shouldn’t have had sex if you were that worried or you should have asked him to use a condom.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Personally, I don't think you are in the wrong at all for leaving that situation. It is your body and he had to respect that which he didn't. Other than trusting he won't do it again however, there is little else that can be done to concretely bolster the fact you don't want it happening again.

You should sit down with him properly and discuss how it made you feel and that you do not want it happening again. Make sure he listens to you fully before replying so that your opinion is heard. I don't think it sounds like anything malicious though from the context provided.
Yes. I know. He looked very sorry and he was quiet which is not normal of him. I think he felt a lot of shame too. I believe he understands how I feel especially by leaving. I just felt like I ruined a good night/day which we really wanted as we was apart for 5 days.

I feel bad for being so mean about it ,Iknow he feels bad. but it’s serious topic.

Also we’ve both been so stressed out in our personal lives. So we needed today to relax with eachother and chill which we did. Then this happened.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#7
(Original post by SlaveofAll)
Maybe a time apart from each should help you two think things through.
How much time. I’ve thought things through. I’m just angry still.
0
reply
SlaveofAll
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
How much time. I’ve thought things through. I’m just angry still.
A cool-off period, perhaps taking few months
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes. I know. He looked very sorry and he was quiet which is not normal of him. I think he felt a lot of shame too. I believe he understands how I feel especially by leaving. I just felt like I ruined a good night/day which we really wanted as we was apart for 5 days.

I feel bad for being so mean about it ,Iknow he feels bad. but it’s serious topic.

Also we’ve both been so stressed out in our personal lives. So we needed today to relax with eachother and chill which we did. Then this happened.
Don't feel bad for your choice of leaving. In my opinion it was the right call and it strongly conveyed your opinion to your partner. It is a serious topic so handling it like one makes the most sense - if you play light of this fact, he may feel encouraged that it was not as big of a problem.

It is not your fault that things ended up as they did - but to try and remedy the situation, as I said before, try and properly sit down with him and talk through it calmly. If he reacts in a way you don't want or seems disingenuous, then remove yourself from the situation and take a break from the relationship so he can see the seriousness of the fact. If he is receptive (as I am sure he will be as it sounds like a mistake and poor use of judgement in the heat of the moment to me), then continue on as is and hopefully things go as you would like them to.
0
reply
Anonymous #4
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
My bf has 2 kids already. I don’t have any and don’t want any for a while minimum 5/6 years. Hence why I take birth control. I was on the implant for 3 years worst thing I ever did because of the side effects I gained so much weight snd depression. Now I’m on the pill. Which you take everyday same time however you can take it within 12 hours of the time you take it also.

Today I didn’t take it and it pasted 12 hours ,so I told my boyfriend not to *** in me as this worked for us in our first 6 months ,as I forgot it. He said ok.

We had a reallly good night. And we’ve been really good recently. So we had sex and he cummed Inside me. I was soooo upset and angry because I had told him not to. He’s done this before once and I took plan b in which I do not like taking and this was like 2 months ago. He apologised snd I said it was fine because I understand it was a mistake.

However it’s not like he can’t control it because first 6 months he did. And i feel if you can’t control it you shouldn’t be having sex.

I was so angry and I was about to go home as I wasn’t staying the night he told me to stay and he’ll make it up to me idk how but I said no and booked my Uber and left his house. If he didn’t agree to me I wouldn’t have done it or I would of blamed myself however it was mutual And told him he should respect my body. And if I get pregnant I’ll be aborting it because I don’t want a child and now I’ve been put it in that situation. He kept saying sorry sorry sorry but he’s said sorry before and did it again. He said I shouldn’t escalate situation because we’ve had a good night and I told him this is more important than a good day and he said he knows.

I don’t believe he did it maliciously because I know he cares about me. However I feel like this needs to NOT HAPPEN AGAIN because it’s a serious thing. I rarely ever forget to take it it’s only happened once before. And I would tell him in advance.

Am I being a b I t c h?
Is it ok to feel like this?

Sometimes I’m dramatic but with things like this I don’t play around.
Pull out method doesnt work. You can get pregnant from the precum. Use a condom or pill instead of asking your bf to pull out. In my opinion it is not that either of You act *****y. The method is *****y - it only leads to tons of stress and blaming each other but doesnt actually protect You from getting pregnant. A guy can easly find himself in the situation where he doesnt menage to pull out in time and You said it is not like he always doesnt menage to do it. He didnt this time. So maybe he failed when it comes to how he performed during sex and it is understandable You get mad because of all the stress but to be honest You should just buy condoms and have sex without stressing about pulling out in time which doesnt work anyway.
0
reply
Dada11
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
Hey pls take emergency pill (aka morning after pill) asap within 72 hours, preferably within 24 hours after intercourse
1
reply
Dada11
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
My bf has 2 kids already. I don’t have any and don’t want any for a while minimum 5/6 years. Hence why I take birth control. I was on the implant for 3 years worst thing I ever did because of the side effects I gained so much weight snd depression. Now I’m on the pill. Which you take everyday same time however you can take it within 12 hours of the time you take it also.

Today I didn’t take it and it pasted 12 hours ,so I told my boyfriend not to *** in me as this worked for us in our first 6 months ,as I forgot it. He said ok.

We had a reallly good night. And we’ve been really good recently. So we had sex and he cummed Inside me. I was soooo upset and angry because I had told him not to. He’s done this before once and I took plan b in which I do not like taking and this was like 2 months ago. He apologised snd I said it was fine because I understand it was a mistake.

However it’s not like he can’t control it because first 6 months he did. And i feel if you can’t control it you shouldn’t be having sex.

I was so angry and I was about to go home as I wasn’t staying the night he told me to stay and he’ll make it up to me idk how but I said no and booked my Uber and left his house. If he didn’t agree to me I wouldn’t have done it or I would of blamed myself however it was mutual And told him he should respect my body. And if I get pregnant I’ll be aborting it because I don’t want a child and now I’ve been put it in that situation. He kept saying sorry sorry sorry but he’s said sorry before and did it again. He said I shouldn’t escalate situation because we’ve had a good night and I told him this is more important than a good day and he said he knows.

I don’t believe he did it maliciously because I know he cares about me. However I feel like this needs to NOT HAPPEN AGAIN because it’s a serious thing. I rarely ever forget to take it it’s only happened once before. And I would tell him in advance.

Am I being a b I t c h?
Is it ok to feel like this?

Sometimes I’m dramatic but with things like this I don’t play around.
Hi OP I forgot to quote you just now but hope you act asap please have emergency contraception within 72 hours after intercourse, the sooner the better. Go to hospital, clinic, pharmacy, whatever. Best wishes.
0
reply
Dada11
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 month ago
#13
If im not mistaken emergency pill can be taken not more than twice a month. Ask pharmacist for it, there is still time, but time is ticking, OP. Regarding your relationship you have to make sure risky behaviour doesnt happen again, whatever it takes.
0
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 month ago
#14
There is a very simple solution to this.

Never have sex with pull-out conditions. Either have sex or don't have sex.

If there is a (too big a) risk of you getting pregnant from full sex, then do not have sex at all on that particular day or week or month.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
Don't feel bad for your choice of leaving. In my opinion it was the right call and it strongly conveyed your opinion to your partner. It is a serious topic so handling it like one makes the most sense - if you play light of this fact, he may feel encouraged that it was not as big of a problem.

It is not your fault that things ended up as they did - but to try and remedy the situation, as I said before, try and properly sit down with him and talk through it calmly. If he reacts in a way you don't want or seems disingenuous, then remove yourself from the situation and take a break from the relationship so he can see the seriousness of the fact. If he is receptive (as I am sure he will be as it sounds like a mistake and poor use of judgement in the heat of the moment to me), then continue on as is and hopefully things go as you would like them to.
Unfortunately he hasn’t called me today. I’m not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want to anger me more but usually he calls me everyday. He didn’t today this is weird but I’m not sure. How should I feel about this
0
reply
Son of the Sea
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#16
Report 1 month ago
#16
It’s not difficult at all. Get him to wear a condom when he’s inside you or don’t let his penis near your pussy. It really is that simple.
1
reply
Final Fantasy
Badges: 20
#17
Report 1 month ago
#17
Are you familiar with condoms? Also, I don't think women understand just how difficult it can be to control the point of climax for guys. IMO you are being very unreasonable and you're the one who's not taking the necessary precautions. And threatening to abort the baby if pregnant? Really was that necessary comment? Your partner deserves better. End the relationship, you clearly don't give a crap about any responsibility and wanna blame it all on your partner instead.
Last edited by Final Fantasy; 1 month ago
0
reply
black tea
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#18
Report 1 month ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
And i feel if you can’t control it you shouldn’t be having sex.
And I feel if you can't remember to use contraception when you don't want to get pregnant, you shouldn't be having sex...

Stop blaming him. You are just as much to blame here as he is. It sounds like it was a mistake (I'm not a guy so no idea how difficult it is is to control when you orgasm, but it does commonly happen that guys can't withdraw on time, which is why it is such a poor method of preventing pregnancy), just like you made a mistake not taking your pill. In future, consider using a condom or just not having penetrative sex if you forget to take the pill, and consider setting an alarm on your phone to remind you, or consider another long-term method of contraception if you forget to take the pill often. And instead of threatening to have an abortion, consider taking emergency contraception because having an abortion is a lot more unpleasant than taking the morning after pill.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#19
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
Are you familiar with condoms? Also, I don't think women understand just how difficult it can be to control the point of climax for guys. IMO you are being very unreasonable and you're the one who's not taking the necessary precautions. And threatening to abort the baby if pregnant? Really was that necessary comment? Your partner deserves better. End the relationship, you clearly don't give a crap about any responsibility and wanna blame it all on your partner instead.
I understand however , the first 6 months he was able to every single time. I said no as I’ve never met someone who’s able to but he said he’s able to and did so everytime for 6 months. I was threatening I was telling him he knows I won’t have a child anytime soon.
0
reply
WazzWazz98
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#20
Report 1 month ago
#20
(Original post by black tea)
And I feel if you can't remember to use contraception when you don't want to get pregnant, you shouldn't be having sex...

Stop blaming him. You are just as much to blame here as he is. It sounds like it was a mistake (I'm not a guy so no idea how difficult it is is to control when you orgasm, but it does commonly happen that guys can't withdraw on time, which is why it is such a poor method of preventing pregnancy), just like you made a mistake not taking your pill. In future, consider using a condom or just not having penetrative sex if you forget to take the pill, and consider setting an alarm on your phone to remind you, or consider another long-term method of contraception if you forget to take the pill often. And instead of threatening to have an abortion, consider taking emergency contraception because having an abortion is a lot more unpleasant than taking the morning after pill.
Some people on here need to educate themselves on consent
He ignored op's boundaries on what she consented to
So that makes the intercourse non consensual
In other words...it was [email protected]

What else will the bf justify next ? He didn't even give a reason..just said he was sorry and now he's gaslighting her ?

Get out of there op
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you tempted to change your firm university choice on A-level results day?

Yes, I'll try and go to a uni higher up the league tables (54)
29.35%
Yes, there is a uni that I prefer and I'll fit in better (15)
8.15%
No I am happy with my choice (101)
54.89%
I'm using Clearing when I have my exam results (14)
7.61%

Watched Threads

View All