Concerned for a friend

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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She's been confiding in me recently and no one really knows what her relationship is like on the inside. For some reason she's told only me and after seeing what it's like I would simply describe it toxic. I discovered they've already broken up twice before, he as self harmed and blamed her for it, called her narcissistic, b!tch, selfish etc. and basically he puts his issues on her from what I gather.

I'm concerned cause she has her own issues and is sacrificing other things to try and be there for him because somehow she still loves him a lot and tries her best. But when she starts messaging me I don't know how I'm not enough for him, and how he said he doesn't know if she loves him its like idk what to suggest I don't like telling people they should break up because it should be their decision not mine. But I'm still concerned the toll it's having on her. Do I just keep consoling her or do I be real and say it for what it is.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She's been confiding in me recently and no one really knows what her relationship is like on the inside. For some reason she's told only me and after seeing what it's like I would simply describe it toxic. I discovered they've already broken up twice before, he as self harmed and blamed her for it, called her narcissistic, b!tch, selfish etc. and basically he puts his issues on her from what I gather.

I'm concerned cause she has her own issues and is sacrificing other things to try and be there for him because somehow she still loves him a lot and tries her best. But when she starts messaging me I don't know how I'm not enough for him, and how he said he doesn't know if she loves him its like idk what to suggest I don't like telling people they should break up because it should be their decision not mine. But I'm still concerned the toll it's having on her. Do I just keep consoling her or do I be real and say it for what it is.
you should definitely be straight up and tell her. she’s your friend and she trusts u enough to confide so i think she will not be upset with your opinion. she’s probably just afraid and thinks it’s the wrong choice to break up with him so having another opinion may help her in her decision
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CaptainDuckie
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I think definitely raising your issues in a non-confrontational way I.e not patronising her or anything/ being judgemental, will be good in addition to consolation, to show that you’re giving her your opinions and telling her that everything is not looking too good from another lens. Encourage her that she deserves to be happy etc. But be there to support her on whatever decision she makes, or how long she needs to think about it. Clearly, their relationship doesn’t sound very healthy and only continuing it for her to be in that is causing more harm than good and she would probably wish that you had told her sooner.
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