My boyfriend moving to uni

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Livymae
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Hi!

I didn’t really know where to go for help so I decided here. My boyfriend is a year older than me and moves to uni this year where as I go next year. We both want to go to the same uni which is great but it means him living 4 hours away from me for a year.

Today we got the news that he would be living in student houses where everything is communal beside the bedroom. He will be sharing this house with 6 different people, and it will be uni sex. We are both incredibly worried about this, him being more worried about sharing a bathroom with strangers but me more worried about who is going to be living with him. I trust him but I don’t know who these people are and I’m worried about what they would be willing to do.

I’m just wondering if anyone had any advice to help me stop worrying and just kind of relax about the situation?

Thank you, liv
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WazzWazz98
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I am therefore assuming he is first year
Why Is he not in halls then ?
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Zarek
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Roughing it a bit should be part of the student experience. You can always get a house together next year
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Surnia
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Are you wanting to go to the same uni as your boyfriend for the right reasons, ie the course it offers, as opposed to being together? Have you considered what would happen if you weren't accepted or you split up?

You say you don't know what other people in the house would be 'willing to do'; in what sense? If, as you say, you trust your boyfriend, that's the end of it. If he doesn't want to do something, he says no.
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Livymae
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(Original post by Zarek)
Roughing it a bit should be part of the student experience. You can always get a house together next year

Yeah that’s what we are planning on doing
If all goes well we have been looking at apartments for next year
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Livymae
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(Original post by Surnia)
Are you wanting to go to the same uni as your boyfriend for the right reasons, ie the course it offers, as opposed to being together? Have you considered what would happen if you weren't accepted or you split up?

You say you don't know what other people in the house would be 'willing to do'; in what sense? If, as you say, you trust your boyfriend, that's the end of it. If he doesn't want to do something, he says no.
Yeah I am, I appreciate the question though! I’m a student in forensics and the justice system and the uni we are looking at has an amazing course and is one of the loveliest places to live in my opinion. We wanted to go there before we met, it was a coincidence that got brought up half way through our first year together 😂

Thank you for saying that I appreciate it. I trust him and I know he will say no because he respects me. I’m just worried about what the other people will try and initiate with him if you get me?
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Livymae
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(Original post by WazzWazz98)
I am therefore assuming he is first year
Why Is he not in halls then ?
Yeah he is. He applied for halls but didn’t get them unfortunately so he got placed in first year houses where everything is shared besides the bedroom
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Kerzen
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(Original post by Livymae)

Thank you for saying that I appreciate it. I trust him and I know he will say no because he respects me. I’m just worried about what the other people will try and initiate with him if you get me?
Do you mean that you are concerned that he might get together with one of the women he is sharing with (if there are women)?
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Joleee
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i mean unless he got his own studio apartment he is bound to be living with other people including those of the opposite sex; you need to let it go and stop worrying cuz there nothing you can do. if your boyfriend wants to cheat he'll find a way to cheat. he's probably less likely to cheat with someone he shares a house with cuz most people don't want to **** where they eat cuz if things go south you still have to live with that person; plus you'd have to deal with how your other housemates feel about it; plus living together isn't always the sexiest conditions. messy people, scheduling access to the shower, someone's smoking in the flat, having to deal with noisy housemates when you're trying to sleep or study, someone's stealing food or hogging fridge space, someone's girlfriend stays over too much, someone's not taking out the garbage. it can all cause stress and make you less attracted to the people you live with. much more likely to cheat by meeting someone in class or at a nightclub.
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WazzWazz98
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(Original post by Livymae)
Yeah I am, I appreciate the question though! I’m a student in forensics and the justice system and the uni we are looking at has an amazing course and is one of the loveliest places to live in my opinion. We wanted to go there before we met, it was a coincidence that got brought up half way through our first year together 😂

Thank you for saying that I appreciate it. I trust him and I know he will say no because he respects me. I’m just worried about what the other people will try and initiate with him if you get me?
Some people will always have bad intentions
Regardless of whether you were living with your boyfriend during his first year or not
If you trust him then nothing else matters
It could be course mates mutual friends etc that instigate something not necessarily house mates so you just have to trust him to do the right thing
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Surnia
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(Original post by Livymae)
I’m just worried about what the other people will try and initiate with him if you get me?
If you go down the route of thinking someone might initiate something with your boyfriend you might as well lock him up and throw away the key, because a girl who sits next to him in lectures might flirt with him, or one who he meets through a uni society or in a bar or whilst shopping or travelling on a train or when he gets a job. You are massively overthinking it. Someone tries it on, he just says no; end of.

Does he worry about someone initiating something with you when you come into contact with other guys? If not, it's a bit double standards that he trusts you more than you trust him, and it is about each other and not what other people do.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Livymae)
Hi!

I didn’t really know where to go for help so I decided here. My boyfriend is a year older than me and moves to uni this year where as I go next year. We both want to go to the same uni which is great but it means him living 4 hours away from me for a year.

Today we got the news that he would be living in student houses where everything is communal beside the bedroom. He will be sharing this house with 6 different people, and it will be uni sex. We are both incredibly worried about this, him being more worried about sharing a bathroom with strangers but me more worried about who is going to be living with him. I trust him but I don’t know who these people are and I’m worried about what they would be willing to do.

I’m just wondering if anyone had any advice to help me stop worrying and just kind of relax about the situation?

Thank you, liv
Good luck with whatever happens. All I know is that if a man is surrounded by 5 other females everyday whilst his girlfriend is more than 100 miles away.... Good luck. Secrets may be hidden for a while but in the end they are always revealed...
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Livymae
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Get ready for him to dump you at some point
Do you genuinely think he will?
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Livymae
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Good luck with whatever happens. All I know is that if a man is surrounded by 5 other females everyday whilst his girlfriend is more than 100 miles away.... Good luck. Secrets may be hidden for a while but in the end they are always revealed...
Do you genuinely think he will cheat? Even though he swears he would never
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Admit-One
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Ignore the anon fools. If he's happy he can keep it in his pants for 12 months.
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Manclass98
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(Original post by Livymae)
Do you genuinely think he will cheat? Even though he swears he would never
Yeah, I wouldn't be worried at all. Guys don't just fling themselves at others - and vice versa - if they're happy in their relationship. I lived away from my partner for the whole uni experience bc he didn't go to uni, and it was never an issue that we even considered. If you trust him and vice versa, it'll be fine. I do get your point about others (girls can be ruthless!) but again, he would decline if he really loved you, which I'm sure he does if he's willing to live with you from next year, as that's a huge commitment.
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Livymae
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(Original post by Kerzen)
Do you mean that you are concerned that he might get together with one of the women he is sharing with (if there are women)?
Yeah that’s what I mean
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Livymae
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(Original post by Manclass98)
Yeah, I wouldn't be worried at all. Guys don't just fling themselves at others - and vice versa - if they're happy in their relationship. I lived away from my partner for the whole uni experience bc he didn't go to uni, and it was never an issue that we even considered. If you trust him and vice versa, it'll be fine. I do get your point about others (girls can be ruthless!) but again, he would decline if he really loved you, which I'm sure he does if he's willing to live with you from next year, as that's a huge commitment.
Thank you for this reply, it is really reassuring. We really trust each other but I just don’t know what other girls can do which is scary when I’m not going to be with him all the time. I understand what you have said though and it makes sense, thank you for replying to this, I appreciate it. I’ve just got to learn not to let my small worry be a big thing and cause an issue between us.
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Livymae
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(Original post by Admit-One)
Ignore the anon fools. If he's happy he can keep it in his pants for 12 months.
Thank you for replying with this! We will have small holidays when we can see each other and stuff so I’m hoping it won’t be too bad. He better be able to keep it in his pants though 😂
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Admit-One
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(Original post by Livymae)
Thank you for replying with this! We will have small holidays when we can see each other and stuff so I’m hoping it won’t be too bad. He better be able to keep it in his pants though 😂
Heh, sorry to be blunt above. Honestly, you seem happy with him and he has the incentive of you joining him after he first year so I'm sure he'll be fine. Obviously you can't control other peoples behaviour but he can draw the line if he is on the receiving end of some flirting or whatever.
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