Long Distance Relationships

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Anonymous #1
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Any advice for making a long distance relationship work whilst both away at uni - how to get the best work/ relationship balance?
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Any advice for making a long distance relationship work whilst both away at uni - how to get the best work/ relationship balance?
Make sure you're really communicating with each other. It's a lot harder through a screen, but make it a priority. Dedicate time out of your days to video call each other so you can actually talk. Even if it's about little things like whether the supermarket had your favourite cereal on special offer, it sounds really silly but it's things like that that can maintain the closeness. Talk about how you're feeling, especially if you're finding it hard.

Respect each other, respect that your lives are somewhat separate during this time. Don't restrict each other or get annoyed if either of you are seeing friends or doing other things, but also respect that you need to make time for each other too.

Trust each other until you have a reason not to. There will be times where either of you won't be able to reply right away or have a video call or whatever, but it's important to maintain that trust no matter what. Don't give yourself an issue unless there is one. It can be so easy to fall into the "are they cheating" mindset when long distance, but just have that trust in each other

If you do find it hard, just remind yourself of why you love that person and why you're with them. If your love is strong enough, you will survive the distance
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Make sure you're really communicating with each other. It's a lot harder through a screen, but make it a priority. Dedicate time out of your days to video call each other so you can actually talk. Even if it's about little things like whether the supermarket had your favourite cereal on special offer, it sounds really silly but it's things like that that can maintain the closeness. Talk about how you're feeling, especially if you're finding it hard.

Respect each other, respect that your lives are somewhat separate during this time. Don't restrict each other or get annoyed if either of you are seeing friends or doing other things, but also respect that you need to make time for each other too.

Trust each other until you have a reason not to. There will be times where either of you won't be able to reply right away or have a video call or whatever, but it's important to maintain that trust no matter what. Don't give yourself an issue unless there is one. It can be so easy to fall into the "are they cheating" mindset when long distance, but just have that trust in each other

If you do find it hard, just remind yourself of why you love that person and why you're with them. If your love is strong enough, you will survive the distance
Wow! Thank you! This is great advice! I’m just worried about the future really because my partner can be quite jealous and over protective even when we live in the same town so my head overthinks how it’s going to pan out when we are in separate cities with people neither of us know
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twinklelittlstar
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Make sure you're really communicating with each other. It's a lot harder through a screen, but make it a priority. Dedicate time out of your days to video call each other so you can actually talk. Even if it's about little things like whether the supermarket had your favourite cereal on special offer, it sounds really silly but it's things like that that can maintain the closeness. Talk about how you're feeling, especially if you're finding it hard.

Respect each other, respect that your lives are somewhat separate during this time. Don't restrict each other or get annoyed if either of you are seeing friends or doing other things, but also respect that you need to make time for each other too.

Trust each other until you have a reason not to. There will be times where either of you won't be able to reply right away or have a video call or whatever, but it's important to maintain that trust no matter what. Don't give yourself an issue unless there is one. It can be so easy to fall into the "are they cheating" mindset when long distance, but just have that trust in each other

If you do find it hard, just remind yourself of why you love that person and why you're with them. If your love is strong enough, you will survive the distance
PRSOM. also, make time for doing activities together! for example, u can watch a tv series or have a dinner date through video call. video calls are a yes or yes for me: seeing their face and not just hearing their voice can really help.

also, establish boundaries from the go- how many times do u guys want to speak (on video call, phone call, texting, whatever) a week? for some ppl it’s ok to speak once or twice a week, others like to speak daily w their partners. it’s important to discuss each other’s needs before entering a LDR, and settle on a middle ground that will satisfy both of you. also, establish the boundaries you would establish in a normal relationship: what is and what isn’t acceptable? are you confortable w your partner doing x things w other people without you being there? keep in mind that boundaries are extremely personal- follow your gut when establishing them, and respect each other’s boundaries.

trust. u need to trust each other. u mention that ur partner is quite jealous- it’s important that they trust you, and you trust them. there is A LOT of space in a LDR for doubts, overthinking and jealousy. u are not with ur partner. some days they will be out partying, others they will be out w friends, and u will not be there, and they will likely not respond to ur texts. u have to trust them enough to know that they will not do anything that will put at risk the relationship you both have (within the boundaries you’ve both agreed on). keep in mind there will be jealousy, because it’s a normal emotion. we have to stop demonising it- it is normal to want to be w the person you love, and to be jealous of those who can, when you can’t. but jealousy can develop into a problem if left untreated- you need to communicate, and communicate well and thoroughly. like drawtheline says, even the smallest details can draw the both of u closer. it’s important to discuss feelings, the positive and the negative. if feelings such as jealousy keep coming up in conversation, though, it can be a problem- it may stem from insecurity, and their partner can start to think that they don’t trust them.

super important: establish meeting days! ldr’s are a LOT more bearable when you have a set date to look forward to when u guys will meet. if u don’t establish this date, even if it’s two or three months away, it can be harder to keep the relationship going strong.

tbh can’t think of anything else rn, but just want to say that it’s all in the details. u might be a thousand miles away, but u can still send your partner flowers, letters (this is SUCH a cute thing to do🥰), book them a concert ticket, send them an ubereats, whatever! and above all, make time for them! if you do this, respect each other’s boundaries and communicate, you should be fine. I wish u all the luck!❤️
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Wow! Thank you! This is great advice! I’m just worried about the future really because my partner can be quite jealous and over protective even when we live in the same town so my head overthinks how it’s going to pan out when we are in separate cities with people neither of us know
How he reacts and responds is definitely down to him, try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know). Basically, if he is going to be jealous and, quite frankly, childish about being away from you, then it's going to happen so there's little point fretting about it as you can't control it. If he doesn’t trust you, or the people around you, then your relationship will struggle, but that won't be your fault. It can be a scary thought and will not always be easy, but as long as you both communicate and trust each other then you will be fine. If he struggles with that, then he needs to work on that himself as that has nothing to do with you.

But please don't change yourself or your life or what you want to do whilst at uni because he says he's jealous or tries telling you what to do. Make sure to stand your ground and make it clear to him that he can get as jealous as he likes but you're going to see friends and have a good time whilst still in a relationship, as it is possible to have both. He may take some time to adjust
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Anonymous #2
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Don't do it, its a waste of time and won't work
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Casmo
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It's really hard for me so I don't know how to make it easier. Keeping a long-distance relationship strong is tricky, I am sure it's possible but only if both of you do your best. Not so long ago, I came across reviews of black people meet and signed up there. I met a wonderful girl but fortunately, we live in the same city.
Last edited by Casmo; 1 week ago
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