Gf doesn't really have sex anymore

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
The main issue is the family business her parents employed her in which has her working early 7 days a week. Basically last time I stayed over hers I was over for 4 nights and we didn't have sex once. That is out the ordinary for us, but I believe it's to do with the fact she wants to sleep earlier.

I'm staying over for 5 nights next time and I'm aware she'll have to get up early most days. I know there are couples that say well you don't need sex, but to me it sort of completes a relationship it feels strange not to at this age anyway (early 20s). I like the romance and love expressed through it.

When we've had sex in the past she's blamed me for not initiating it at a good time. There's been times where its kept us up later than we'd like and she'd be like initiate it at some other time of the day, do it earlier then there's no problem. She's my second ever gf I don't know how to do that, she never initiates because she's awkward around that stuff. I don't really know how to, it ends up late because we're usually in bed at night time and if she puts on a film I don't want to come across annoying and interrupt that. Last time it was just hop in bed, watch film, sleep, repeat.

Anyone have ideas what to do about this? Do I talk to her directly, do I try and initiate this stuff in a different way at a different time? I'm kinda stuck here. It feels weird just asking for it, I like it to happen naturally and its problematic it always happens naturally at night in bed strangely enough. But yeah with her going to sleep early I'm afraid it just doesn't happen at all.
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Anonymous #2
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It sounds very problematic especially with that all week long job. To be honest that part kinda sounds really bad for her in general. Like how does one work 7 days a week having so little time and energy that they cant even have sex and not go insane. Normaly i would advise you to do it on weekend or something but in this situation i honestly dont know. The best way would probably just to talk with her about it so she understands your perspective and tell you if she has any ideas about what to do.
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CaptainDuckie
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To be honest, it may well be the case that you have to ask for it/ do things at a quicker pace... set like a time to just get really intimate; kissing, touching, grabbing.
Then just do it. The best time to do so would be in the early morning, or during when you both watch Netflix together. Don’t even bother about the film dude, at like 15 minutes in, begin the kissing straight away. Don’t wait or feel scared because it’s your girlfriend.. like she says, she said do it earlier so do it at like as soon as you both go into bed to watch Netflix rather then prolong everything. Or both of you go into bed even earlier than usual to do it.
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #3
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Why doesn’t she ever initiate sex? It’s silly for her to blame you if she doesn’t initiate it. You could skip the film some nights and just have sex. It doesn’t sound like she’s bothered about having sex to be honest.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Why doesn’t she ever initiate sex? It’s silly for her to blame you if she doesn’t initiate it. You could skip the film some nights and just have sex. It doesn’t sound like she’s bothered about having sex to be honest.
He said she had trouble initiating sex so it is mostly him who does that. She sure could improve in that regard at some point but that is not a quick fix to the current problem and a one they would probably work on anyway if they wanted to.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He said she had trouble initiating sex so it is mostly him who does that. She sure could improve in that regard at some point but that is not a quick fix to the current problem and a one they would probably work on anyway if they wanted to.
He has trouble initiating as well. There’s no point complaining about his attempts if she doesn’t even try at all.
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Dunnig Kruger
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Next time you go over to hers, have an unprocessed plant based supper ready for her when she gets home. Include ingredients like pistachio nuts (unsalted and lightly roasted), as well as raw / non-mushy veggies, fruit, leaves, herbs. The aim is to give her tasty nutritional meals with plenty of roughage, that's high in anti-oxidants and low in inflammatory foods. If she drinks alcohol, give her 1 alcoholic drink with her meal along with a large glass of water. Have a light hearted positive conversation with her during the meal.
At the end of the meal initiate some light intimate contact with her. A kiss and a cuddle. Or a kiss and 1 minute shoulder massage. Something like that.
Then clear away and wash the dishes.

Then initiate your love making with her. If she's not up for sex, be fine about it. Do your best to ensure she gets a good nights sleep. And repeat the process the next evening. If she's still not up for it, arrange to get out the house on the 3rd night for a date with her that's not too taxing. Make it a quick date. Attempt light intimate contact during the date and try to escalate to sex on your return home.

When you do get to make love with her, do your best to make it orgasmic for her.

Do not talk to her about this, unless she brings up the subject herself. In which case have an emotionally positive and supportive towards her conversation with her about it.

Your girlfriend sounds like a wonderful woman. She deserves a man that stands out from the crowd in the right kinds of ways. All you have to do is to be that man and you should be onto a winner.
It sounds like in order for this relationship to succeed that you will have to act in masculine ways. The right kind of masculine ways. Where you take on the leadership role whenever the situation demands. As well as - when appropriate - the Gordon Ramsay chef role. As well as you having clear life goals that you actively work towards.
Be a man. A man she will respect.
Last edited by Dunnig Kruger; 1 month ago
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