Is it normal to ignore your partner for days/weeks after an argument?

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Anonymous #1
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My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, due to work commitments at present, but we’ve both decided to relocate and live together starting next month
We’ve been together for almost 3 years and he has always ignored me for days, even weeks when we have an argument
This has made me second guess if I want to leave my job and life so we can be together

I have been told by friends that silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse? or is this actually normal to ignore your partner for this long?
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WazzWazz98
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It could be emotional abuse
It is childishness at the very least

A few days maybe but not weeks and certainly every time seems extreme
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CaptainDuckie
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Depends on the severity of the argument. I’d think the more heated the argument, the more the silent treatment is there. You can’t just argue then like expect everything to be alright with no space to think and breathe. That’s like having a boxing match with no breaks.
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black tea
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This is how some people deal with stressful situations, yes. Is it healthy? Probably not. Is normal (normal being used to mean "common" in this scenario)? No, but certainly not unheard of.
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amalie480
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I think it is emotional abuse, to be honest. It's fine to have your moments but if he's going several days/weeks without talking to you with no explanation then that's messed up. The least he could say is that he wants some space to think about what has happened.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
Depends on the severity of the argument. I’d think the more heated the argument, the more the silent treatment is there. You can’t just argue then like expect everything to be alright with no space to think and breathe. That’s like having a boxing match with no breaks.
Could be anything, from i’m tired because of work i’m ‘ boring ‘ and put work first too much or just because, it’s just every single argument, i get the major arguments people need time to breathe but i didn’t think it would be everytime
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Anonymous #2
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Time to leave him long distance relationships don't work
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amalie480
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Time to leave him long distance relationships don't work
I don't think it's to do with the fact that it's an LDR, I think it's the guy that's the problem
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by amalie480)
I don't think it's to do with the fact that it's an LDR, I think it's the guy that's the problem
Yeah well either way she needs to break up
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Anonymous #1
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Usually it’s because of nothing major, i think that’s why it bothers me so much, is this definitely not something i should be concerned about? especially before moving? imagine how it could be if we live together?
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amalie480
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah well either way she needs to break up
True
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Could be anything, from i’m tired because of work i’m ‘ boring ‘ and put work first too much or just because, it’s just every single argument, i get the major arguments people need time to breathe but i didn’t think it would be everytime


Yes, and every boxing match, both oppositions need breaks....
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Usually it’s because of nothing major, i think that’s why it bothers me so much, is this definitely not something i should be concerned about? especially before moving? imagine how it could be if we live together?


If you live together, same thing applies. Social distancing after each argument. Do have a talk about it after though.

I do believe he should let you know when he needs space though. I don’t like telling someone that though because it seems like such a defeatist thing to say.. idk, maybe it’s just me.
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Anonymous #1
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even if it’s over something minor, it still needs weeks?? surely this cannot be right
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Anonymous #1
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But how long does that social distancing need to apply for? if we’re living together and he does not wish to talk to me for weeks still, is that even normal?

I just keep being told this is emotional abuse and i’ve never experienced it before, previous relationships I have understood we need to debrief and have time apart but not weeks and by weeks i mean, literally weeks
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
If you live together, same thing applies. Social distancing after each argument. Do have a talk about it after though.

I do believe he should let you know when he needs space though. I don’t like telling someone that though because it seems like such a defeatist thing to say.. idk, maybe it’s just me.
But how long does that social distancing need to apply for? if we’re living together and he does not wish to talk to me for weeks still, is that even normal?

I just keep being told this is emotional abuse and i’ve never experienced it before, previous relationships I have understood we need to debrief and have time apart but not weeks and by weeks i mean, literally weeks
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
Yes, and every boxing match, both oppositions need breaks....
even if it’s over something minor, it still needs weeks?? surely this cannot be right
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But how long does that social distancing need to apply for? if we’re living together and he does not wish to talk to me for weeks still, is that even normal?

I just keep being told this is emotional abuse and i’ve never experienced it before, previous relationships I have understood we need to debrief and have time apart but not weeks and by weeks i mean, literally weeks


Might be a deeper rooted issue that’s not known. If you’re having arguments that frequently, might need to start handling things like adults and just agree to disagree.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
even if it’s over something minor, it still needs weeks?? surely this cannot be right


If it’s minor and he’s airing you for weeks, he might just not want to talk to you because you keep arguing over petty nonsense. This doesn’t sound like a happy relationship. You both need to learn how to agree to disagree.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
If it’s minor and he’s airing you for weeks, he might just not want to talk to you because you keep arguing over petty nonsense. This doesn’t sound like a happy relationship. You both need to learn how to agree to disagree.
If it becomes aggressive and he attacks me, it’s not that easy to agree to disagree
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