Rudeness and Manners

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JDINCINERATOR
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I find that being rude and being expected to have good manners is passé and quite bigoted. I understand that rude is another way of saying impolite, but I think most of the time I've heard this word flung about is in school classrooms. If you tell a child they're being rude and should stop their behaviour ,it's a way to try and control them based on the adult's expectations. Sure, if you're disruptive and stopping others from learning or being comfortable then that's ok, but what I don't think many people truly understand is that children behave the way they do based on the influences around them and a child will likely behave in accordance to what they've learned and policing that isn't always fair or necessary. As far as manners are concerned the concept is the same-they're enforced in an attempt to control people's behaviour and ensure that the etiquette in the environment is met and the people in that environment know their boundaries. But really how do we grow up as individuals if we keep on obeying the rules? Is it so we can be guided safely and protectively through our lives so we don't get into serious trouble-or is it so we don't question and work against the established systems we all pander to every day?
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Filthy Communist
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You wrote so much and said so little.

Just don't be a **** mate it's not that deep.
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JDINCINERATOR
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(Original post by Filthy Communist)
You wrote so much and said so little.

Just don't be a **** mate it's not that deep.
Well your method is straight to the point mine is more elaborate and detailed.
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lucyyy12
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nah I’d say manners are important.
what goes around comes around.
you mentioned children, imagine how much chaos a primary school class would be if they had no manners and couldn’t behave.
then imagine then growing up and becoming adults
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JDINCINERATOR
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(Original post by lucyyy12)
nah I’d say manners are important.
what goes around comes around.
you mentioned children, imagine how much chaos a primary school class would be if they had no manners and couldn’t behave.
then imagine then growing up and becoming adults
So you'd prefer having robotic children who obey the rules and grow up to be obedient workers?
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lucyyy12
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(Original post by JDINCINERATOR)
So you'd prefer having robotic children who obey the rules and grow up to be obedient workers?
have you been around primary school children?
do you know how hard it would be to teach them basic maths and english if there was no rules or sense of discipline in the classroom?
also, most of ks1 is about teaching them social skills and basic life skills so that they will treat other people properly. It’s not about making them robotic. Some children at age three or four genuinely have no clue on how to act around other children or people or what is appropriate behaviour.
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JDINCINERATOR
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(Original post by lucyyy12)
have you been around primary school children?
do you know how hard it would be to teach them basic maths and english if there was no rules or sense of discipline in the classroom?
also, most of ks1 is about teaching them social skills and basic life skills so that they will treat other people properly. It’s not about making them robotic. Some children at age three or four genuinely have no clue on how to act around other children or people or what is appropriate behaviour.
You can have rules and discipline but the concept of manners to me is just a way of trying to control children. I personally think people make too much of a fuss about children eating with their mouths open for example- sure it isn't pleasant but neither is going to the bathroom to do our business. Making rules and expectations will always have their drawbacks as well as their plus points-in this case manners are good for establishing cohesion but samey behaviour robs them of their individuality even in subtle and generally ineffectual ways.

No matter how much you try to conform children they'll go and do their own thing dependent on how they react to their environments. There is only so much teachers, parents and other authority figures can do. As for teaching them Maths and English properly-my perspective is if the child grows up in an environment that doesn't nurture them properly then their cares for education will suffer. Three and four-year-old children are in their formative and developing years, they don't have grown-in social skills-it's as if you expect children to just get on as soon as they convene-which would be nice and pleasant if that were to happen but it's unlikely.

The true and thorough diversity and complexity of humans especially children is lost on many people-which probably explains why there are many parents that can't be bothered with them and decide their mobile phones will be their greatest companion.
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lucyyy12
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(Original post by JDINCINERATOR)
You can have rules and discipline but the concept of manners to me is just a way of trying to control children. I personally think people make too much of a fuss about children eating with their mouths open for example- sure it isn't pleasant but neither is going to the bathroom to do our business. Making rules and expectations will always have their drawbacks as well as their plus points-in this case manners are good for establishing cohesion but samey behaviour robs them of their individuality even in subtle and generally ineffectual ways.

No matter how much you try to conform children they'll go and do their own thing dependent on how they react to their environments. There is only so much teachers, parents and other authority figures can do. As for teaching them Maths and English properly-my perspective is if the child grows up in an environment that doesn't nurture them properly then their cares for education will suffer. Three and four-year-old children are in their formative and developing years, they don't have grown-in social skills-it's as if you expect children to just get on as soon as they convene-which would be nice and pleasant if that were to happen but it's unlikely.

The true and thorough diversity and complexity of humans especially children is lost on many people-which probably explains why there are many parents that can't be bothered with them and decide their mobile phones will be their greatest companion.
I think you’re thinking a bit deep.
There’s nothing wrong with teaching kids a simple please and thank you.
Kindness costs nothing, and what goes around comes around.
I wouldn’t want to live in a society where everyone is awful to each other for no reason
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JDINCINERATOR
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(Original post by lucyyy12)
I think you’re thinking a bit deep.
There’s nothing wrong with teaching kids a simple please and thank you.
Kindness costs nothing, and what goes around comes around.
I wouldn’t want to live in a society where everyone is awful to each other for no reason
I don't have an issue with kindness, kindness is a wonderful and endearing characteristic. I just don't think it should be tethered to the ideals of manners and rudeness-because they seem like forceful concepts to me.
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lucyyy12
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yeah but if you don't have good manners (even if they are forced as you say) and you work in say, customer service, you're not going to get on very well.
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JDINCINERATOR
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(Original post by lucyyy12)
yeah but if you don't have good manners (even if they are forced as you say) and you work in say, customer service, you're not going to get on very well.
You're right you do need "good manners" and etiquette in customer service-but that shows just how messed up being an employee can be with all the rules in place. I think if someone provokes you in a job like that then you should be entitled to give them a dose of what they gave you. I think in roles like customer service you're more prone to be walked all over because you're constantly worried about getting fired and most crucially losing your income. Money really does control us all and it's fickle.
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Jamie
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#12
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#12
(Original post by JDINCINERATOR)
I find that being rude and being expected to have good manners is passé and quite bigoted. I understand that rude is another way of saying impolite, but I think most of the time I've heard this word flung about is in school classrooms. If you tell a child they're being rude and should stop their behaviour ,it's a way to try and control them based on the adult's expectations. Sure, if you're disruptive and stopping others from learning or being comfortable then that's ok, but what I don't think many people truly understand is that children behave the way they do based on the influences around them and a child will likely behave in accordance to what they've learned and policing that isn't always fair or necessary. As far as manners are concerned the concept is the same-they're enforced in an attempt to control people's behaviour and ensure that the etiquette in the environment is met and the people in that environment know their boundaries. But really how do we grow up as individuals if we keep on obeying the rules? Is it so we can be guided safely and protectively through our lives so we don't get into serious trouble-or is it so we don't question and work against the established systems we all pander to every day?
If this is your attempt to construct a defence for a upcoming sexual assault and sexual harrassment trial I would suggest a different tactic.
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NonIndigenous
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I'm direct.

Sometimes people think I'm rude or antagonistic, but I rarely care. I have my ambitions and a short temper for bureaucracy and unnecessary extra work that slows me down. Provided I have no bad intentions (which I very rarely do), people really have nothing to worry about. It doesn't bother me in the long run, because in the long run they're usually proven wrong in their assumptions.

Thing about being "polite" and all that... is even the greatest ar*hole backstabbing snake can learn to be polite and kiss a*s. It is quite meaningless.

At least when I'm nice to someone, they know it is authentic.
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Foxehh
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Some parents do micromanage their children though teaching them not to be dipwits is hardly a means of control. I, like most people, dont associate with people who cant act with even the most basic manners around me. It shows a lack of respect.
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CosmicApathy1
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Why did man write so much
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Wise Goldie
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(Original post by Foxehh)
Some parents do micromanage their children though teaching them not to be dipwits is hardly a means of control. I, like most people, dont associate with people who cant act with even the most basic manners around me. It shows a lack of respect.
the respectful fox
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shooonthebeat
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(Original post by CosmicApathy1)
Why did man write so much
Truss so much waffle 😂😭💀
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lucyyy12
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#18
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(Original post by JDINCINERATOR)
You're right you do need "good manners" and etiquette in customer service-but that shows just how messed up being an employee can be with all the rules in place. I think if someone provokes you in a job like that then you should be entitled to give them a dose of what they gave you. I think in roles like customer service you're more prone to be walked all over because you're constantly worried about getting fired and most crucially losing your income. Money really does control us all and it's fickle.
you're going to get the sack if you so much breathe the wrong way at a customer.
you have to be as nice as possible to sell stuff, even if they are in the wrong. that's sort of the point of customer service. nobody is going to buy something from someone who doesn't have decent manners/social skills.
of course you'd get fired if you're putting customers off. bosses want to make money, through making sales.
even if you don't like manners for some reason, i don't think you'd want the sack.

money controls us to an extent, we need food and shelter and warmth obviously. some people are just money hungry and that's it. they aren't good people. but there are good people in the world too who actually care about others and go out of their way to be nice for no personal gain.

i think you have a very negative world view
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JDINCINERATOR
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Jamie)
If this is your attempt to construct a defence for a upcoming sexual assault and sexual harrassment trial I would suggest a different tactic.
Changing the context of the situation won't garner the same results.
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JDINCINERATOR
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#20
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(Original post by shooonthebeat)
Truss so much waffle 😂😭💀
Is that because you don't understand it?
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