Autism has ruined my life
This is a rant. Be a bit grateful you're life is alright
I'm so upset how autism has ruined my life. I'm currently working at a 'british disneyland' (won't say the name) where staff live on the site. I worked at this site last year and my former roommate told me that colleagues saw me a guy who never spoke and saw me weird. I was hesitant to return but i have no life with my family so this was the only option for the summer.
I have struggled to even say a simple hello to people in the accommodation. I usually try my hardest to be social but this time, i am scared to even look at people. I'm stuck with a new roommate who is probably a more introverted version than me and just plays games after he finishes his work. I normally gain social interaction from roommates who invites me to social groups.
This is all my fault. i have no social skills. I had already conceded before joining the job. The little social skills i had have now diminished. this is me a problem, I do not have an identity nor a personality. I do not know what i stand for. As my father says, he doesn't know who i am, There is an identity problem within myself because i'm autistic and recently i have agreed with this.
I haven't eaten in a week at all since i started this job. I am a little bit halluncinating because i haven't eaten properly. I'm scared to go to the staff canteen. I have to travel to another city to eat something or else thats it.
This is a tragedy. I finally get the issues i have and it will lead to a tragic situation. Probably might spend money on private treatment for poor social skills and autism
I'm so upset how autism has ruined my life. I'm currently working at a 'british disneyland' (won't say the name) where staff live on the site. I worked at this site last year and my former roommate told me that colleagues saw me a guy who never spoke and saw me weird. I was hesitant to return but i have no life with my family so this was the only option for the summer.
I have struggled to even say a simple hello to people in the accommodation. I usually try my hardest to be social but this time, i am scared to even look at people. I'm stuck with a new roommate who is probably a more introverted version than me and just plays games after he finishes his work. I normally gain social interaction from roommates who invites me to social groups.
This is all my fault. i have no social skills. I had already conceded before joining the job. The little social skills i had have now diminished. this is me a problem, I do not have an identity nor a personality. I do not know what i stand for. As my father says, he doesn't know who i am, There is an identity problem within myself because i'm autistic and recently i have agreed with this.
I haven't eaten in a week at all since i started this job. I am a little bit halluncinating because i haven't eaten properly. I'm scared to go to the staff canteen. I have to travel to another city to eat something or else thats it.
This is a tragedy. I finally get the issues i have and it will lead to a tragic situation. Probably might spend money on private treatment for poor social skills and autism
(edited 2 years ago)
Hi there, I'm also autistic so feel as if I could give you some advice? Although, all autistic people are super different so apologies if this is no help at all!
The eating thing is definitely the biggest issue here. Going into the canteen alone would certainly be stressful, but is it because of the people there (the social aspect) or is it because of the noise and crowds (the sensory aspect)? I would recommend just putting headphones on, going down, ignoring absolutely everyone, and getting food quickly.
There is time to work on these social issues you're having, but not eating for a week is not something to make a habit out of.
As for the social aspect, it is difficult talking to people, even saying hi can of course be stressful. I know that I still have no idea how to start a conversation with someone unless we are in a situation that I can discuss with them. Even just giving people a wee smile in the corridors will slowly boost your confidence and make you seem like a more approachable person. A smile and maybe a small wave can help make people see that you don't mean to be unapproachable and that you are a nice person. Working on social skills takes time, and rebuilding the ones you had is a great place to start. You won't be doing anything you haven't done before, which should make things easier. Again, I recommend working in very small steps and slowly building that confidence back up
Reading the part about having no identity and personality really made me sad, as I have felt the exact same way many a time. It is something a lot of autistic and neurodiverse people struggle with. All I can really say is that spending time alone has really helped me with this. During lockdown I was basically alone the whole time, and so had no reason to mask. This made me realise that the front I put on with people is actually not at all who I am. I have gotten to know myself so well and no longer struggle with the idea that I have "no personality". I would recommend spending some serious time alone, figure out your likes and dislikes, your opinions, your views, without any influence from others. You will really get to know yourself and eventually realise that you absolutely have a personality, it has just been hidden for a while due to masking!
I hope this could be of some help to you, although it may not be depending on your circumstances etc. Maybe try talking to a professional if you feel it would be beneficial? Although that is easier said than done. I hope you feel better soon!
The eating thing is definitely the biggest issue here. Going into the canteen alone would certainly be stressful, but is it because of the people there (the social aspect) or is it because of the noise and crowds (the sensory aspect)? I would recommend just putting headphones on, going down, ignoring absolutely everyone, and getting food quickly.
There is time to work on these social issues you're having, but not eating for a week is not something to make a habit out of.
As for the social aspect, it is difficult talking to people, even saying hi can of course be stressful. I know that I still have no idea how to start a conversation with someone unless we are in a situation that I can discuss with them. Even just giving people a wee smile in the corridors will slowly boost your confidence and make you seem like a more approachable person. A smile and maybe a small wave can help make people see that you don't mean to be unapproachable and that you are a nice person. Working on social skills takes time, and rebuilding the ones you had is a great place to start. You won't be doing anything you haven't done before, which should make things easier. Again, I recommend working in very small steps and slowly building that confidence back up
Reading the part about having no identity and personality really made me sad, as I have felt the exact same way many a time. It is something a lot of autistic and neurodiverse people struggle with. All I can really say is that spending time alone has really helped me with this. During lockdown I was basically alone the whole time, and so had no reason to mask. This made me realise that the front I put on with people is actually not at all who I am. I have gotten to know myself so well and no longer struggle with the idea that I have "no personality". I would recommend spending some serious time alone, figure out your likes and dislikes, your opinions, your views, without any influence from others. You will really get to know yourself and eventually realise that you absolutely have a personality, it has just been hidden for a while due to masking!
I hope this could be of some help to you, although it may not be depending on your circumstances etc. Maybe try talking to a professional if you feel it would be beneficial? Although that is easier said than done. I hope you feel better soon!
Have you posted something similar recently? It looks familiar.
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?p=95377584&highlight=disneyland
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?p=95377584&highlight=disneyland
Original post by Kerzen
Have you posted something similar recently? It looks familiar.
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?p=95377584&highlight=disneyland
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?p=95377584&highlight=disneyland
smart dectective.
I'm drinking so heavily, i forget if im posting the same thing here or in reddit.
The thread even shows i even conceded before i started work
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by nom06
Hi there, I'm also autistic so feel as if I could give you some advice? Although, all autistic people are super different so apologies if this is no help at all!
The eating thing is definitely the biggest issue here. Going into the canteen alone would certainly be stressful, but is it because of the people there (the social aspect) or is it because of the noise and crowds (the sensory aspect)? I would recommend just putting headphones on, going down, ignoring absolutely everyone, and getting food quickly.
There is time to work on these social issues you're having, but not eating for a week is not something to make a habit out of.
As for the social aspect, it is difficult talking to people, even saying hi can of course be stressful. I know that I still have no idea how to start a conversation with someone unless we are in a situation that I can discuss with them. Even just giving people a wee smile in the corridors will slowly boost your confidence and make you seem like a more approachable person. A smile and maybe a small wave can help make people see that you don't mean to be unapproachable and that you are a nice person. Working on social skills takes time, and rebuilding the ones you had is a great place to start. You won't be doing anything you haven't done before, which should make things easier. Again, I recommend working in very small steps and slowly building that confidence back up
Reading the part about having no identity and personality really made me sad, as I have felt the exact same way many a time. It is something a lot of autistic and neurodiverse people struggle with. All I can really say is that spending time alone has really helped me with this. During lockdown I was basically alone the whole time, and so had no reason to mask. This made me realise that the front I put on with people is actually not at all who I am. I have gotten to know myself so well and no longer struggle with the idea that I have "no personality". I would recommend spending some serious time alone, figure out your likes and dislikes, your opinions, your views, without any influence from others. You will really get to know yourself and eventually realise that you absolutely have a personality, it has just been hidden for a while due to masking!
I hope this could be of some help to you, although it may not be depending on your circumstances etc. Maybe try talking to a professional if you feel it would be beneficial? Although that is easier said than done. I hope you feel better soon!
The eating thing is definitely the biggest issue here. Going into the canteen alone would certainly be stressful, but is it because of the people there (the social aspect) or is it because of the noise and crowds (the sensory aspect)? I would recommend just putting headphones on, going down, ignoring absolutely everyone, and getting food quickly.
There is time to work on these social issues you're having, but not eating for a week is not something to make a habit out of.
As for the social aspect, it is difficult talking to people, even saying hi can of course be stressful. I know that I still have no idea how to start a conversation with someone unless we are in a situation that I can discuss with them. Even just giving people a wee smile in the corridors will slowly boost your confidence and make you seem like a more approachable person. A smile and maybe a small wave can help make people see that you don't mean to be unapproachable and that you are a nice person. Working on social skills takes time, and rebuilding the ones you had is a great place to start. You won't be doing anything you haven't done before, which should make things easier. Again, I recommend working in very small steps and slowly building that confidence back up
Reading the part about having no identity and personality really made me sad, as I have felt the exact same way many a time. It is something a lot of autistic and neurodiverse people struggle with. All I can really say is that spending time alone has really helped me with this. During lockdown I was basically alone the whole time, and so had no reason to mask. This made me realise that the front I put on with people is actually not at all who I am. I have gotten to know myself so well and no longer struggle with the idea that I have "no personality". I would recommend spending some serious time alone, figure out your likes and dislikes, your opinions, your views, without any influence from others. You will really get to know yourself and eventually realise that you absolutely have a personality, it has just been hidden for a while due to masking!
I hope this could be of some help to you, although it may not be depending on your circumstances etc. Maybe try talking to a professional if you feel it would be beneficial? Although that is easier said than done. I hope you feel better soon!
I thank you for your comment
The idea is to seek private treatment later this year but also this won't likely help my disorder.
I had been feeling severly depressed as usual since February 2020. I knew that month somthing wasn't right. since then, i feel tired and fed up and breathless.
Autism is diffuclt to defeat
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Quiet Benin
The idea is to seek private treatment later this year but also this won't likely help my disorder.
The idea is to seek private treatment later this year but also this won't likely help my disorder.
Why do you feel that you must seek private treatment? Your GP would be able to refer you to the local Autism support service.
Original post by Kerzen
Why do you feel that you must seek private treatment? Your GP would be able to refer you to the local Autism support service.
The conversation i had with IAPT was they gave me contact details of support and there were willing to offer cbt. As someone who studied psychology, i know this doesn't work with individuals with autism.
Thanks for caring though.
Original post by Quiet Benin
The conversation i had with IAPT was they gave me contact details of support and there were willing to offer cbt. As someone who studied psychology, i know this doesn't work with individuals with autism.
Thanks for caring though.
Thanks for caring though.
IAPT is something you would have referred yourself to. Your GP would be able to refer you to the team who deal with Autism.
Original post by Kerzen
IAPT is something you would have referred yourself to. Your GP would be able to refer you to the team who deal with Autism.
It was my GP who persuaded me to contact IAPT. Their initial plan was to put me on their last antidepressant that i have not tried and this antidepressant actually made somebody i knew who had severe depression killed himself (i had tried several antidepressants before which none had work).
How do i tell my parents, i want to go on a city break before i return to my shithole of a house?
I am quitting. I feel worse than yesterday. It's been a week ive been here. Those that have been here for a week are literally best friends. This is a me problem, not the centre.
I am quitting. I feel worse than yesterday. It's been a week ive been here. Those that have been here for a week are literally best friends. This is a me problem, not the centre.
Original post by Quiet Benin
How do i tell my parents, i want to go on a city break before i return to my shithole of a house?
I am quitting. I feel worse than yesterday. It's been a week ive been here. Those that have been here for a week are literally best friends. This is a me problem, not the centre.
I am quitting. I feel worse than yesterday. It's been a week ive been here. Those that have been here for a week are literally best friends. This is a me problem, not the centre.
If you don't like the place you are working at but feel able to do something, what about one of the Butlin's jobs I've suggested to other posters?
I've no idea where this 'British Disneyland' you mention is, but it's obviously somewhere where you are very unhappy.
Would this work for you?
https://butlinscareers.co.uk/search-item/?id=20337
