University and Home life are SO different

Badges: 2
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
Hey guys, please excuse the anonymous post.

University is ending and I’m struggling to adapt back to my home life. I really found myself at university and feel like I can be myself in a large city without any judgement. Without sounding full of myself, I’m a popular person at uni, invited to every party and really find myself at the centre of anything going on. I basically couldn’t give two f***s about what anyone thinks of me because I know I have many large networks of friends that accept me for who I am.

My home life is a little different - family is great so that’s not an issue. But, I come from a small town and there’s that “small town mentality”. All my friends haven’t really moved on since sixth form and I know they’ve seen me on social media living my best life, but now I look back and without sounding rude, they are just dry…

When I say dry, I mean that their idea of a good night out is going to the pub, sitting with a few pints and dry conversation. Before uni I was happy doing that but now I love meeting new people and having interesting conversation, which is something my old pals don’t really partake in and keep to themselves. They worry too much about what others think and try to fit in with the “norm” (wearing designer to impress, keeping themselves to themselves with the worry of coming across weird to others if they make conversation with a stranger)

I feel a sort of anxiety when returning to home. A lot of bad things happened there and I’ve experienced a lot of trauma that I don’t really feel I’ve moved on from. When I visit, I dress different (to fit in with everybody else) and I worry about what people think of me. I don’t feel like I have a group of friends I fit in with where at uni I have several.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Last edited by Oneoffadvice; 4 weeks ago
Badges: 19
Report 4 weeks ago
You may consider reconnecting with your uni friends just in case you feel lonely. Social support from them is truly necessary especially in this time of lockdowns.
Badges: 19
Report 4 weeks ago
Are you friends from home judging you the way you are judging them, or accepting you for who you now are? You are making more of an issue of it than necessary by changing yourself.

Wouldn't life be boring if everyone was a clone and behaved and dressed the same way? If everyone had a degree and didn't want to do basic jobs like emptying bins, cleaning toilets etc? Just understand that people are unique and if you want to ditch them for that, what does it say about you? How are you going to cope with work when you meet people who don't have degrees or particular hobbies or watch trashy tv? Doesn't necessarily make them bad.

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