I feel like a failure

So I’m 21.
When I came out of college I wanted to be a paramedic even since school. I went college did health and social care. I then did biomedical foundation year to get into paramedics as I didn’t have enough Ucas points half way through I realised it wasn’t right to continue it. I then researched what I can do to get in. I then did another course for 4 months that didn’t work out. I waited till September and did public health which I enjoyed for a year and finally got into paramedics. My parent then died from covid and it really affected me although I’m slowly moving on it still is abit ****. Anyways student finance said I’ve done too many years and couldn’t fund paramedics but said they would fund the last 2 years. So I managed to fund it myself through money I got from my parents will which wasn’t a lot.

I’m in first year paramedics and my placement went really bad and I felt like I enjoyed the job but the environment snd people who work there aren’t pleasant. I’m also a minority and there isn’t a lot so I felt very secluded regardless I continued until I started to not get along with my mentor we clashed multiple times and I felt like all their colleagues was gossiping about me. I had anxiety going in. I quit placement which my uni understood however now I don’t know what to do.

I feel like I’ve done so many years in uni and haven’t stuck to one degree. I feel like a failure and embarrassment to my family and people. Although my passion was paramedics , getting an insight to the type of people who work there and the environment I don’t want to be in a career like that for decades. I also don’t like science however I tried a lot during paramedics.

I’m now thinking to do social work.
But I’m scared I’ll become a failure.
Also I don’t know how I’ll pay for this when student finance said they will only pay my last 2 years of a course.

I feel like I’ve been jumping up and down. Imagine the same thing happens with social work. In school I enjoyed sociology this is a small link to social work but yeah. With paramedics I don’t like science but I liked the job and still managed my assignments etc.

What do I do? Has anyone ever been in this position.

I’m really stressed out and getting headaches from this.

Reply 1

username4899406

Well done for being so brave and soldiering on despite your parents op
It is an awful shame that you were not advised properly with regards to the foundation year in biomed - was it the wrong choice because it would not have allowed you to continue to paramedic science ? I am a little confused

It seems like careers really haven't discussed your options with you
Seek advice asap op

However I'm not sure why you went with paramedic science in the first place if you weren't so keen on it
However when you say the people and the environment....there will be good and bad eggs in every career field op.

I do hope things work out for you
Remember that there is no set timeline for when and how things should be achieved by

I feel like a failure

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