My longest bf of 1 and a half yrs (Guy A) broke up with me a fw weeks ago. I say im over it. but im not. he wouldnt talk with me after he sent me a message ending things, blocked me. and it hurts so much becz everything he said still plays in my head on replay, every promise feels like a lie. my friends seem like they dont care. one of my two best friends for a bunch of years, still keeps contact with him even though she knows i hate it. they keep a snapstreak and he told her that their friendship means a lot to him. they only met becz of me. she says its her life and thats her longest snapstreak and she dont want to break it. he used to know how insecure i was about him talking with her, and they stopped talking for a few months back when we were together. I've been hurt a lot before, and so did he., so it was mutual that way. Another boy i crushed on before this ex, ghosted me to flirt with her (this happend last year). Another guy (Guy C for now) I used to flirt with, used to hit on her at the same time, and I kept my distance from him when I found out. Guy C then got jealous about me and Guy A, since me and Guy A were very serious about our relationship. Guy A and C are best friends. Guy A knew about me and C from before, and he was okay with it since it was over and I told him how much i regretted it. he reassured me saying my past didnt matter. in the end Guy C (who said he deleted every chat between me and him) send all the messages to Guy A, which caused the breakup since A felt I cheated on him (even though C thing was before A). I feel hurt and betrayed by my friends and him. So much that, I'm whinning to strangers on the internet which I know is stupid. I cant sleep at night and I feel empty. I pretend i'm happy but it feels suffocating.

Guy A was the first guy to ever really listen and understand, he was always there for me, we'd talk about our future, he asked me to marry him and i said yes, his family loved me, he'd dream about us and chose a name for our future kid, everything was perfectly planned out. We couldnt stay apart. I saw him at his most vulnerable and he's kept me strong when i feel like i cant carry on. For once i thought things would work out.

thts what i wrote, idk why the message didnt show up becz of moderation...

But thats the thing, i dont want some else better....when he was hurting, his friend Guy C was the one who supported him, cause he couldnt talk with me back then *i wasnt allowed to use social media and stuff and he Guy A knew, and he told me to be strong for him till we could talk again, and that he loves me more than life itself*. Guy C sent him screenshots of messages from long back, by hiding the things he said, which ended up making it seem like I forced him, even though it wasnt that way. He made it seem like I was being slutty which just reinforced Guy A's insecurities. Both me and Guy A had been hurt a lot before, but we understood each other, i've seen him in his most vulnerable, he's told me things no one else knows, i really thought he was the one for me. I used to overthink about him being too good to be true sometimes, and he'd feel the same way about me, he felt like he didnt deserve me sometimes but I always reassured him. When Guy C sent those things, it hurt him a lot, made him feel betrayed and he ended up breaking up with me. I tried talking to him, but he seems at that anger stage. I wish I could convince him.