AQA English literature power and conflict

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#1
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#1
Hi , Please can someone mark my essay answer to 'Compare the ways the poets in Kamikaze and one other poem present internal conflict?' using the AQA mark scheme and give some feedback on how to improve. Thank you!


Both kamikaze & Poppies present internal compact in their poems. In Kamikaze, the father experiences internal complect as he goes to complete the suicide mission by flying straight into American ships, he ends up turning back & returning home however he is rejected & not spoken to. In Poppies, it focuses on the internal conflict felt by the ones left behind therefore giving a non-conventional veiwpoint.

In both poems, the characters by to hide their true emotions. In Kamikaze, the poem starts with 'Her father embarked at sunrise". The verb`embark" seems as if he is willing to go & excited to start a new chapter to his life. In addition Japan was known as the land of success this links to patriotism & that the father is doing this as apatriotic duty for his country. The Japanese culture was very patriotic & you were remembered with pride if you died for your country.

Similarly in Poppies, as the mother is saying goodbye to her son who in leaving she says. I was brave. Here she doesn't want her son to leave but has to seem brave. Also, this the explores emotional suppering on to physical which opposes conventional ideas about bravery at that time.

Both poems present characters who have internal conflict to war. In Kamikaze, the father seems to be conflicted he has a duty of patriotison to fulfill however he will also miss his family and the place he grew up in. Another reason he could have turned back could have been that why was it him that had to go and not his brothers? As in the Japanese culture it would have to be the oldest son that stayed & the youngest that went. As the father leaves he is making a 'one way journey into history' here his family & neighbous all know his fate however he will be remembered as he sacrificed himself for his country. However, it is ironic as when he returns the 'mother never spoke in his presence' & neither did anyone else.

In Poppies, the mother also experiences internal conflict when her son is leaving, she constantly combines domestic & military language as shown in the quote 'Sellotape bandaged around myhand' Sellotape is a very domestic possession, however this in juxtaposed by the verb "bandaged" as it is done so when someone is injured. Perhaps it is a metaphor the mother is internally injured by her son's departure. The overwhelming use of domestic & military language shows the impact on the civillian's life I how it is continuously disrupted by the thoughts of war.

Both writers use form to show the internal conflict of the characters in their poems. In kamikaze, it is a normative poem which there is switches in persons between 1st & 3rd. There is no voice for the father & this could emphasize how he is rejected by society & ignored. In Poppies, Weir uses dramatic monologue to emphasize the focus on the mother & what she is going through. Similar to kamikaze, the son has no voice, highlighting the fact that her internal conflict is experienced due to the loss of her son.

In Kamikaze, Garland perhaps explores the internal conflict experienced by the family members as shown in the quote 'Till gradually we too learned to be quiet' this shows how unnatural it was to just ignore your father. However, there is hope as the structure of the poem consists of 3 sentences perhaps reflecting that the story is being teld orally & that maybe now the family is accepting & no longer ignoring the father and being more understanding. This is shown in the switch to 1st person, making the reader be bought directly to someone in close relation with the father, heightening the emotions.

In contrast in Poppies the internal conflict is just of the mother as there no voice of any other character. The use of free verse in the poem shows how the mother can't control herself and is absorbed by thoughts of loosing her son. Futhermore, it reflects the chaotic impact on those at home.

In conclusion both poems present internal conflict as a result of war and show it through language form & structure. However, to how representative this is to real life could be debatable as both poets aren't writing from first hand experience.
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snigdha101
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Hi, I just finished my GCSEs so I will give you feedback but not using the mark scheme or anything.

For the introduction, it's really good but try to include more comparing points between the poem rather than stating their respective summaries. You can also include another summary in the same intro.

Sometimes you miss the step between the language analysis and context. Try to be more sophisticated with your language analysis and explain the effect of it on the reader. Also, always link back to the starting point you've made (signpost to the examiner that you know your stuff)

I'll show you an example intro and a paragraph ( a comparison with Kamikaze and Baynet charge) and you can see if it is helpful.

Hughes’ ‘Bayonet Charge’ and Garland’s ‘Kamikaze’ are inextricably connected through various themes that echo and contrast each other, with many of their primary threads linking to the feelings experienced in war. Both poems show the inner conflict that can occur within a soldier in war but whereas in Bayonet Charge, the horror of war remains indescribable and ends in the tragic death of the soldier; the pilot in Kamikaze decided to leave his battle and instead experiences a metaphorical death.

The soldiers at the centre of each poem stop on a journey that they are making. In Kamikaze, this is a flight across the sea and in Bayonet Charge, a run across No Man’s Land. This pause allows the poet to explore the inner conflict between their duty and conscience. In Bayonet Charge, we see this in the second stanza when he ‘stopped’ and asked himself ‘in what cold clockwork of the stars and the nations was he the hand pointing that second’. This rhetorical question implies the soldier’s confusion, finding himself to be a cog in the machine of war. The reference to “cold clockwork” suggests the arbitrary yet inevitable nature of the war, in which nations found themselves drawn into conflict through political mismanagement. The soldier was an innocent victim, sucked into this ‘clockwork’ process. Neither the ‘stars’ nor ‘nations’ care about him, as demonstrated through the harsh alliteration of the ‘c’ sound but the soldier has to keep running. Later, we see the list ‘King, honour, human dignity etcetera’ Hughes is using a mocking tone to show the conflict between the noble virtues of war and the futility of death. In Kamikaze, the simile of the ‘little boats strung out like bunting’ shows the soldier’s turmoil as he imagines his death to be celebrated and his contribution to Japan honoured. However, the semantic field of death, ‘dark...black… dangerous’, contrasts with the celebration of the bunting suggesting he, perhaps, doesn’t believe he will be, or he should be, celebrated. The image of the bunting suggests public celebration and jolly colours but ironically juxtaposed with the idea of death. It shows how the deaths of these pilots were widely glorified as they were sacrificing themselves for honour and their country. Garland uses this clear contrast to emphasise on the inner conflict of the soldier- contemplating to carry on with his task or return home to his family. Rejoicing someone's loss of life creates a very gruesome image because people would normally grieve someone’s death but in Japan, people seem to be celebrating death. It depicts how the lives of these soldiers are disparaged, highlighting how unimportant the soldiers’ lives were to the government. This could lead to the inner conflict of the soldier; whether the soldier is dead or alive, he is going to be forgotten by society but if he decides to live, he can at least see his family but suffer a metaphorical death. Both the soldiers are wrestling with their roles in the war which is causing their inner hostility.
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#3
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#3
(Original post by snigdha101)
Hi, I just finished my GCSEs so I will give you feedback but not using the mark scheme or anything.

For the introduction, it's really good but try to include more comparing points between the poem rather than stating their respective summaries. You can also include another summary in the same intro.

Sometimes you miss the step between the language analysis and context. Try to be more sophisticated with your language analysis and explain the effect of it on the reader. Also, always link back to the starting point you've made (signpost to the examiner that you know your stuff)

I'll show you an example intro and a paragraph ( a comparison with Kamikaze and Baynet charge) and you can see if it is helpful.

Hughes’ ‘Bayonet Charge’ and Garland’s ‘Kamikaze’ are inextricably connected through various themes that echo and contrast each other, with many of their primary threads linking to the feelings experienced in war. Both poems show the inner conflict that can occur within a soldier in war but whereas in Bayonet Charge, the horror of war remains indescribable and ends in the tragic death of the soldier; the pilot in Kamikaze decided to leave his battle and instead experiences a metaphorical death.

The soldiers at the centre of each poem stop on a journey that they are making. In Kamikaze, this is a flight across the sea and in Bayonet Charge, a run across No Man’s Land. This pause allows the poet to explore the inner conflict between their duty and conscience. In Bayonet Charge, we see this in the second stanza when he ‘stopped’ and asked himself ‘in what cold clockwork of the stars and the nations was he the hand pointing that second’. This rhetorical question implies the soldier’s confusion, finding himself to be a cog in the machine of war. The reference to “cold clockwork” suggests the arbitrary yet inevitable nature of the war, in which nations found themselves drawn into conflict through political mismanagement. The soldier was an innocent victim, sucked into this ‘clockwork’ process. Neither the ‘stars’ nor ‘nations’ care about him, as demonstrated through the harsh alliteration of the ‘c’ sound but the soldier has to keep running. Later, we see the list ‘King, honour, human dignity etcetera’ Hughes is using a mocking tone to show the conflict between the noble virtues of war and the futility of death. In Kamikaze, the simile of the ‘little boats strung out like bunting’ shows the soldier’s turmoil as he imagines his death to be celebrated and his contribution to Japan honoured. However, the semantic field of death, ‘dark...black… dangerous’, contrasts with the celebration of the bunting suggesting he, perhaps, doesn’t believe he will be, or he should be, celebrated. The image of the bunting suggests public celebration and jolly colours but ironically juxtaposed with the idea of death. It shows how the deaths of these pilots were widely glorified as they were sacrificing themselves for honour and their country. Garland uses this clear contrast to emphasise on the inner conflict of the soldier- contemplating to carry on with his task or return home to his family. Rejoicing someone's loss of life creates a very gruesome image because people would normally grieve someone’s death but in Japan, people seem to be celebrating death. It depicts how the lives of these soldiers are disparaged, highlighting how unimportant the soldiers’ lives were to the government. This could lead to the inner conflict of the soldier; whether the soldier is dead or alive, he is going to be forgotten by society but if he decides to live, he can at least see his family but suffer a metaphorical death. Both the soldiers are wrestling with their roles in the war which is causing their inner hostility.
This is really really helpful, thank you so much👍
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