english language gcse

The sun was looking out of the window?

Could someone give me feedback on this creative writing essay I wrote
Outside, the sun dripped warmth like hot wax, both soothing and smarting the giggling children in the gardens. The land glowed with light; the heat tingled through the veins of my body. Radiating a spark of glow amid the darkness, it had brought life to my face like a goddess reborn.
Once I too was a child, playing frivolously with the supple hands of my friends, letting the fresh air caress my skin and running around joyfully with an elegant white dress that danced around the yellow marigolds. I had played under the same magnificent tree that now stares at me every day.
Tired from looking outside from my barred window, I lay on an ancient, decayed and rock hard bed. Comfort and pleasure, feelings never given from this bed, and even sleep (a basic human need) had died decades ago. Sleep begged me to be its companion and holds its hands in peace, but however much I tried the thoughts, that raced in my mind like a swarm of bees and scorpions never let me out from being a prisoner.
The once sapphire-blue walls had now turned into a corpse, grey colour. Peeling slowly, the walls had left their will to live. Infectious moss ravenously ate through the wall, creeping into every crevice and every corner insight. Exposed, the no concrete wall waited for someone to take pity, waited for someone to paint it the colour is loved and cherished.
Dilapidated, decayed and drained: I lifted my feeble body slowly.The coldness of the floor electrocuted my body, sending waves of pulsating shiver on my trembling body. Decayed leaves scattered the damp floors and cracked like bones with each step. The leaves have been huddling here for a timeless amount.
Time was meaningless in this room as decades, years, and even minutes have passed, but my mind stuffed with the thought never escaping. Dying in this room that I have watched, analysed and grew old with to only hate it.Dying.To never be the young child that smiles at everything in life.Dying.A life filled with laughter and a life that I don't want to run away from every day. That guilt would shatter my meek heart into thousands of pieces.
dream was all I could. Dream of freedom.Dream of love
Indulge in the magical fantasies of once escaping.

I think that you constructed the sentences so beautifully. I am unable to see how English language is your worst subject. You played around with the senses in such a way, and included the flashback. The only thing that I can say is that teachers love when you connect the end to the begging, so mentioning light in the final sentence would do the trick.