Anonymous #1
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So the day before my exam my GF of 4 years breaks up with me completely out of the blue due to us doing long distance. I was 4th decile last year (did about a month of study) and this year I dropped to 9th decile despite studying all year and working my ****ing ass off and scoring 15-20% above the averages on the Qbanks, exceling on the wards etc.

Other than the SJT what can I do to scrap some extra points, this break up just completely ****ed me, can't believe she couldn't just wait.

Please help, what the ****.
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No_fixed_abode
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So the day before my exam my GF of 4 years breaks up with me completely out of the blue due to us doing long distance. I was 4th decile last year (did about a month of study) and this year I dropped to 9th decile despite studying all year and working my ****ing ass off and scoring 15-20% above the averages on the Qbanks, exceling on the wards etc.

Other than the SJT what can I do to scrap some extra points, this break up just completely ****ed me, can't believe she couldn't just wait.

Please help, what the ****.
Personally I would focus on self care and give yourself some time to heal. Your F1 years will be very busy which could also be a small blessing at times.

As for the scores, I would urge you to bear in mind that your Foundation years are a small part of your medical career and to try to throw yourself into whatever location you find yourself in rather than resenting it because you might have been in a higher scoring deanery.

Also, your scores also seem very important to you so I would suggest you work out what it is that truly drives the motivation to get grades.

Finally I would also bear in mind that there is never a good time to break up with someone and arguably doing it after you have moved across the country with someone is also a bad idea. Not saying that it coming 'out of the blue' doesn't suggest there was a communication problem in the relationship, but just suggesting that in the grand scheme of things there may never have been a good time for a breakup.
Last edited by No_fixed_abode; 1 month ago
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Cheesychips1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So the day before my exam my GF of 4 years breaks up with me completely out of the blue due to us doing long distance. I was 4th decile last year (did about a month of study) and this year I dropped to 9th decile despite studying all year and working my ****ing ass off and scoring 15-20% above the averages on the Qbanks, exceling on the wards etc.

Other than the SJT what can I do to scrap some extra points, this break up just completely ****ed me, can't believe she couldn't just wait.

Please help, what the ****.
I'm so sorry, break ups and are so hard.
I think they have taken away intercalation and publication points (correct me if I'm wrong) but the SJT can be a great equaliser! You can still get into a lot of good deaneries with an above average SJT score. I would say the majority of my friends have had a pretty similar time wherever they did F1/2 and most have enjoyed it.
Easier said than done but focus on yourself and make yourself number 1 priority. Enjoy your last year of medical school and those nice holiday breaks and get yourself in a good position for starting work. With time the pain will pass and this will just be a chapter in your life.
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04MR17
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I find it really sad that 22 posts needed to be removed from this thread for users taking swipes at each other.

If you're going to post in an advice thread, you must be doing so to help the OP. If you want to have a row with another user, find another thread.

Not difficult.
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No_fixed_abode
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(Original post by 04MR17)
I find it really sad that 22 posts needed to be removed from this thread for users taking swipes at each other.

If you're going to post in an advice thread, you must be doing so to help the OP. If you want to have a row with another user, find another thread.

Not difficult.
Fair point. My bad.
Last edited by No_fixed_abode; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by No_fixed_abode)
Personally I would focus on self care and give yourself some time to heal. Your F1 years will be very busy which could also be a small blessing at times.

As for the scores, I would urge you to bear in mind that your Foundation years are a small part of your medical career and to try to throw yourself into whatever location you find yourself in rather than resenting it because you might have been in a higher scoring deanery.

Also, your scores also seem very important to you so I would suggest you work out what it is that truly drives the motivation to get grades.

Finally I would also bear in mind that there is never a good time to break up with someone and arguably doing it after you have moved across the country with someone is also a bad idea. Not saying that it coming 'out of the blue' doesn't suggest there was a communication problem in the relationship, but just suggesting that in the grand scheme of things there may never have been a good time for a breakup.
Of course my scores are super important, I wanted a specific F1 location seeing as i'm leaving the country for F2, plus I wanted to push myself. I was expecting 1st decile. GF was mega depressed, even now 5 weeks later she's begging to have me back and offering to pay for flights etc for me to visit.
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Helenia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Of course my scores are super important, I wanted a specific F1 location seeing as i'm leaving the country for F2, plus I wanted to push myself. I was expecting 1st decile. GF was mega depressed, even now 5 weeks later she's begging to have me back and offering to pay for flights etc for me to visit.
She sounds like someone who will cause ongoing drama if you let her. Give yourself a break and just get on with what you can do for now. You may still be able to get where you want to go, and letting yourself get eaten up with resentment is not going to help anything.
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asif007
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Of course my scores are super important, I wanted a specific F1 location seeing as i'm leaving the country for F2, plus I wanted to push myself. I was expecting 1st decile. GF was mega depressed, even now 5 weeks later she's begging to have me back and offering to pay for flights etc for me to visit.
Seeing as the advice I mentioned before was deleted and I can't remember everything I wrote, let's take a different approach to this.

After the way your ex-gf behaved at a very crucial time for you, I would not even consider taking her back if I was in your position. Instant block and erase from your life. At this point, she has shown you her true colours which means you are in control now. Do not go travelling anywhere to see her and do not listen to her grovelling, crying, begging - whatever tricks she tries to play on you. If she wants to see you, she can pay for her own flights and she can travel to you by herself. She can try explaining herself to you while you watch her behaviour for any signs of meaningful change. All this is on your own terms - you decide the time, place and topic of discussion. She either agrees to your terms, or she never hears from you again. Being depressed is no excuse for the way she treated you - any serious girlfriend in a genuine relationship with you would have taken the opportunity to talk to you about her feelings instead of knee-jerk break-up. The latter reaction is the irrational emotional-driven response we expect from immature princesses in their 20's who never had a strong male figure disciplining them - not what you would expect from someone who claims to love and respect you (if they really did).

Go back to your OP and read through the fallout of her actions that you described to us. Now tell me, is that someone you would consider taking back after she ruined what was important to you in your life (i.e. doing well in your med school exams)? If I was in your position, that would be unforgivable. When a woman treats you as badly as this gf did to you - be ruthless and take no prisoners.
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Cheesychips1
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(Original post by asif007)
Seeing as the advice I mentioned before was deleted and I can't remember everything I wrote, let's take a different approach to this.

After the way your ex-gf behaved at a very crucial time for you, I would not even consider taking her back if I was in your position. Instant block and erase from your life. At this point, she has shown you her true colours which means you are in control now. Do not go travelling anywhere to see her and do not listen to her grovelling, crying, begging - whatever tricks she tries to play on you. If she wants to see you, she can pay for her own flights and she can travel to you by herself. She can try explaining herself to you while you watch her behaviour for any signs of meaningful change. All this is on your own terms - you decide the time, place and topic of discussion. She either agrees to your terms, or she never hears from you again. Being depressed is no excuse for the way she treated you - any serious girlfriend in a genuine relationship with you would have taken the opportunity to talk to you about her feelings instead of knee-jerk break-up. The latter reaction is the irrational emotional-driven response we expect from immature princesses in their 20's who never had a strong male figure disciplining them - not what you would expect from someone who claims to love and respect you (if they really did).

Go back to your OP and read through the fallout of her actions that you described to us. Now tell me, is that someone you would consider taking back after she ruined what was important to you in your life (i.e. doing well in your med school exams)? If I was in your position, that would be unforgivable. When a woman treats you as badly as this gf did to you - be ruthless and take no prisoners.
'immature princesses in their 20's who never had a strong male figure disciplining them' this is incredibly yikes, I'm not sure if you mean to but you sound like a misogynist
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