Having a miserable life complied with being an exmuslim

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
#1
Hey so I've considered myself an exmuslim for a long time now, probably since I was 12 and turning 18 this year. I've kept it a secret from my family and most of my friends. The only friends I have told is my closest friend and they completely understand and support me. My other friends are Muslim but are pretty open-minded so I might tell them when I leave home. Thing is, about leaving home, my parents are very strict, somali, conservative Muslims. My parents got divorced and I hardly talk to my dad however I'm still forced to go masjid and read quran by him. I've put up with this since I was around 5 and even though I've finished the quran I still have to attend. My brothers don't even have to endure this because they're 'men'. The masjid is also my grandmothers and I teach the younger kids there - I'll feel completely awful if I just threw a tantrum and quit. I also have to wear hijab everywhere and not allowed out of the house at all unless it's with my sister or going for school/tutoring. I absolutely hate this double life I'm living and if I were to ever rebel I'll get severely punished by my dad and my whole family. Also, with the somali community where I live they hate exmuslims.

With all of this, and the ***** life I've lived, having to deal with child abuse I just don't believe God is real. Why was I brought onto this world just to suffer? My parents didn't even want me to born and repeatedly tell me I'm only here today because abortion is haram. My mum is a narcissistic, manipulative and gaslighting ******* and my dad is a deadbeat who completely neglects my existence. Everyday my mental health keeps getting worse and I don't know what to do. At school everyone sees me as this quad A* student but don't know the actual reality.

I can't go to the GP for help because my mums friend works there and can't her mouth shut. I also have a mentor at school but she gives out the worse advice ever like 'revise to pass time'. I just want some antidepressants to help with this so does anyone have any advice?

p.s - please don't reply with something trying to get me to become Muslim again its just tonedeaf
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OxFossil
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#2
Report 2 months ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey so I've considered myself an exmuslim for a long time now, probably since I was 12 and turning 18 this year. I've kept it a secret from my family and most of my friends. The only friends I have told is my closest friend and they completely understand and support me. My other friends are Muslim but are pretty open-minded so I might tell them when I leave home. Thing is, about leaving home, my parents are very strict, somali, conservative Muslims. My parents got divorced and I hardly talk to my dad however I'm still forced to go masjid and read quran by him. I've put up with this since I was around 5 and even though I've finished the quran I still have to attend. My brothers don't even have to endure this because they're 'men'. The masjid is also my grandmothers and I teach the younger kids there - I'll feel completely awful if I just threw a tantrum and quit. I also have to wear hijab everywhere and not allowed out of the house at all unless it's with my sister or going for school/tutoring. I absolutely hate this double life I'm living and if I were to ever rebel I'll get severely punished by my dad and my whole family. Also, with the somali community where I live they hate exmuslims.

With all of this, and the ***** life I've lived, having to deal with child abuse I just don't believe God is real. Why was I brought onto this world just to suffer? My parents didn't even want me to born and repeatedly tell me I'm only here today because abortion is haram. My mum is a narcissistic, manipulative and gaslighting ******* and my dad is a deadbeat who completely neglects my existence. Everyday my mental health keeps getting worse and I don't know what to do. At school everyone sees me as this quad A* student but don't know the actual reality.

I can't go to the GP for help because my mums friend works there and can't her mouth shut. I also have a mentor at school but she gives out the worse advice ever like 'revise to pass time'. I just want some antidepressants to help with this so does anyone have any advice?

p.s - please don't reply with something trying to get me to become Muslim again its just tonedeaf
Sounds like you are in a very difficult place. Obviously, antidepressants are unlikely to be helpful when you are locked into the situation that is causing your unhappiness. Unless something changes in it, you are going to find it hard to change how you are feeling. However, there are online counselling services which offer live chat. That may give you a space to talk about your options. https://www.kooth.com/ is one - when you join you have to select an area of residence, but make one up if you like.

There are also several support organisations you might be able to contact to discuss your situation. Here's one - it includes online support sessions as well of tons of resources https://www.ex-muslim.org.uk/
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
sister if i may ask what made you lose faith in the existence of Allah does it maybe have to do with how your parents are treating you and whats going on around you or something else if so then may he make it easy for you sister but you have to understand people go through trials and some people face trials that are harder than others like for example your case with your parent's divorce and the bad things that your parents say to you. I can only make dua for you that may he make it easy on you I can't truly imagine what your going through so as a Somali brother and a human being i pray that your parents change the way they treat you

bye
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CosmicApathy1
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Can’t you just lie to your dad? You barely see him so why not?
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sunshine774
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I'm an ex Muslim and also had conservative Muslim parents. Feel free to PM me if you want, because I can understand your situation 😊
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sunshine774
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(Original post by Anonymous)
sister if i may ask what made you lose faith in the existence of Allah does it maybe have to do with how your parents are treating you and whats going on around you or something else if so then may he make it easy for you sister but you have to understand people go through trials and some people face trials that are harder than others like for example your case with your parent's divorce and the bad things that your parents say to you. I can only make dua for you that may he make it easy on you I can't truly imagine what your going through so as a Somali brother and a human being i pray that your parents change the way they treat you

bye
No offence but this is seriously not helpful.

I understand Muslims think their religion is the 'right way' and that something else causes people to lose faith.

Instead of accepting the fact that some people just don't believe anymore, period. There doesn't need to be something wrong with their life or them.
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Muhammad Razak
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey so I've considered myself an exmuslim for a long time now, probably since I was 12 and turning 18 this year. I've kept it a secret from my family and most of my friends. The only friends I have told is my closest friend and they completely understand and support me. My other friends are Muslim but are pretty open-minded so I might tell them when I leave home. Thing is, about leaving home, my parents are very strict, somali, conservative Muslims. My parents got divorced and I hardly talk to my dad however I'm still forced to go masjid and read quran by him. I've put up with this since I was around 5 and even though I've finished the quran I still have to attend. My brothers don't even have to endure this because they're 'men'. The masjid is also my grandmothers and I teach the younger kids there - I'll feel completely awful if I just threw a tantrum and quit. I also have to wear hijab everywhere and not allowed out of the house at all unless it's with my sister or going for school/tutoring. I absolutely hate this double life I'm living and if I were to ever rebel I'll get severely punished by my dad and my whole family. Also, with the somali community where I live they hate exmuslims.

With all of this, and the ***** life I've lived, having to deal with child abuse I just don't believe God is real. Why was I brought onto this world just to suffer? My parents didn't even want me to born and repeatedly tell me I'm only here today because abortion is haram. My mum is a narcissistic, manipulative and gaslighting ******* and my dad is a deadbeat who completely neglects my existence. Everyday my mental health keeps getting worse and I don't know what to do. At school everyone sees me as this quad A* student but don't know the actual reality.

I can't go to the GP for help because my mums friend works there and can't her mouth shut. I also have a mentor at school but she gives out the worse advice ever like 'revise to pass time'. I just want some antidepressants to help with this so does anyone have any advice?

p.s - please don't reply with something trying to get me to become Muslim again its just tonedeaf
Really sorry to hear of your situation. There is no blaming God. I'm not forcing u to embrace Islam or anything I'm just merely mentioning that your parents r going against the teachings of Rasoolullah SAW. They cannot say such foul things to u and I'm genuinely sorry that a) u feel this way about Allah and Islam b) that u have to go through it whether u r Muslim or not it's not right. U could explain to them that in Islam we k that children r a blessing that can earn a parent jannah. It is something highly desirable and Allah makes no mistakes so you coming into existence was already written. This means u r not a mistake nor can be 'destroyed'. Your parents need to nurture u and look after u. Explain to them they r sinning in the way they treat u by saying foul things. Whether or not u believe, if they r Muslim they will have to hear u out.

I can't recommend anything else and I hope u don't give up on Islam. Allah says in the Quran "with hardship comes ease" and "no soul will bear a burden greater than they can take" (paraphrased). This means Allah may be testing u by giving u parents that r difficult. Maybe that means in your future u bestowed blessings and a great job and life. Idk. There is free will that means ppl do evil but that doesn't mean Allah doesn't exist. He sees it he knows and will deal w it in the after life and potentially in this life. If there was no God how did we come to be? Think about the signs in the Quran. So many signs around the world and predictions that came true and were true about so many different things an illiterate man could have never predicted w/o God (Allah). Read the Quran translation w an open mind. Learn the real Islam b4 u disbelief. Learn the Islam u don't k of yet. Your parents have portrayed a picture of Islam that is wrong. Get closer to Allag and you'll see you'll feel much better w less depression inshaaAllah. If still then u don't believe it is up to u and your choice. As Muslims your parents have to accept that so u should talk to them about it if it's so hard on u bc clearly u need to.
If u want to talk I'll be free to msg and help u. I pray Allah guides u and eases your situation ameen
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Anonbro1
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey so I've considered myself an exmuslim for a long time now, probably since I was 12 and turning 18 this year. I've kept it a secret from my family and most of my friends. The only friends I have told is my closest friend and they completely understand and support me. My other friends are Muslim but are pretty open-minded so I might tell them when I leave home. Thing is, about leaving home, my parents are very strict, somali, conservative Muslims. My parents got divorced and I hardly talk to my dad however I'm still forced to go masjid and read quran by him. I've put up with this since I was around 5 and even though I've finished the quran I still have to attend. My brothers don't even have to endure this because they're 'men'. The masjid is also my grandmothers and I teach the younger kids there - I'll feel completely awful if I just threw a tantrum and quit. I also have to wear hijab everywhere and not allowed out of the house at all unless it's with my sister or going for school/tutoring. I absolutely hate this double life I'm living and if I were to ever rebel I'll get severely punished by my dad and my whole family. Also, with the somali community where I live they hate exmuslims.

With all of this, and the ***** life I've lived, having to deal with child abuse I just don't believe God is real. Why was I brought onto this world just to suffer? My parents didn't even want me to born and repeatedly tell me I'm only here today because abortion is haram. My mum is a narcissistic, manipulative and gaslighting ******* and my dad is a deadbeat who completely neglects my existence. Everyday my mental health keeps getting worse and I don't know what to do. At school everyone sees me as this quad A* student but don't know the actual reality.

I can't go to the GP for help because my mums friend works there and can't her mouth shut. I also have a mentor at school but she gives out the worse advice ever like 'revise to pass time'. I just want some antidepressants to help with this so does anyone have any advice?

p.s - please don't reply with something trying to get me to become Muslim again its just tonedeaf
While we are at it, according to Hanafi jurisprudence, women praying in congregations is disliked. [https://seekersguidance.org/answers/...ional-prayer/]

If you are Muslim, there are benefits in suffering. But you aren't. [https://www.abuaminaelias.com/dailyh...in-expiation/]
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