🌼🍉 Brownies, books and planning a wedding - your favourite fiancés’ 2nd blog 🍉🌼
Scroll to see replies
Reply 60
Original post
by nathan1403I know, I'm well aware I'm extremely privileged, and since I almost got kicked out of my family when I first came out I'm totally aware of how much my parents do for me and how lucky I am to be able to afford university and stuff. But I also think that just because others have it worse, that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel sad or anxious from time to time. After all, I do still have anxiety and that won't go away just because I can go on holidays!
I think Anon is trying to say look on the bright side and focus on what you do have instead
Reply 61
Original post
by nathan1403I know, I'm well aware I'm extremely privileged, and since I almost got kicked out of my family when I first came out I'm totally aware of how much my parents do for me and how lucky I am to be able to afford university and stuff. But I also think that just because others have it worse, that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel sad or anxious from time to time. After all, I do still have anxiety and that won't go away just because I can go on holidays!
I completely agree in that I don't think it means you're not allowed to feel anxious or sad - they're natural emotions. What I think my point is that you do have a tendency at times to fixate on feeling sad and I sometimes think that you're disconnected from the real world. Of course you can be sad, but in reality you have little to be sad about and you live what is, in reality, a very privileged lifestyle with having the ability to have several holidays over summer, to maintain a decent lifestyle without working, and you have a fiance who loves you to bits. I think what I'm trying to say is that it's worth thinking about whether you're, or your subconscious, is creating sadness when in reality there doesn't need to be any.
Reply 62
17
Original post
by AnonymousI completely agree in that I don't think it means you're not allowed to feel anxious or sad - they're natural emotions. What I think my point is that you do have a tendency at times to fixate on feeling sad and I sometimes think that you're disconnected from the real world. Of course you can be sad, but in reality you have little to be sad about and you live what is, in reality, a very privileged lifestyle with having the ability to have several holidays over summer, to maintain a decent lifestyle without working, and you have a fiance who loves you to bits. I think what I'm trying to say is that it's worth thinking about whether you're, or your subconscious, is creating sadness when in reality there doesn't need to be any.
I know I do that sometimes, last night I was only sad because my anxiety created a situation that wasn't really there and then I cried about it, I know that's a bit pathetic but it's hard to break out of sad moods when my anxiety is involved
Fortunately I'm feeling much better today, Alex and I went to the gym for the first time this morning, it was embarrassing how unfit we both are but we had a laugh 
Reply 63
Original post
by nathan1403I know I do that sometimes, last night I was only sad because my anxiety created a situation that wasn't really there and then I cried about it, I know that's a bit pathetic but it's hard to break out of sad moods when my anxiety is involved Fortunately I'm feeling much better today, Alex and I went to the gym for the first time this morning, it was embarrassing how unfit we both are but we had a laugh
Fortunately I'm feeling much better today, Alex and I went to the gym for the first time this morning, it was embarrassing how unfit we both are but we had a laugh I get that, but I also think it's worth starting to confront that and develop better coping strategies. Like with my PTSD, I've found it really, really useful to have independent coping strategies which are healthy and which short cut that and it's really worked for me. I'm glad that you've had a great day and you're not tempting me to go to the gym!
Reply 64
Original post
by nathan1403I know I do that sometimes, last night I was only sad because my anxiety created a situation that wasn't really there and then I cried about it, I know that's a bit pathetic but it's hard to break out of sad moods when my anxiety is involved Fortunately I'm feeling much better today, Alex and I went to the gym for the first time this morning, it was embarrassing how unfit we both are but we had a laugh
Fortunately I'm feeling much better today, Alex and I went to the gym for the first time this morning, it was embarrassing how unfit we both are but we had a laugh Nathan, I know what you mean because I have been there myself.
Just concentrate on your coping mechanisms when things start to look bleak.
You will get through this because you can now recognise when things are getting on top of you and know how to deal with it.
Reply 65
Original post
by nathan1403I know I do that sometimes, last night I was only sad because my anxiety created a situation that wasn't really there and then I cried about it, I know that's a bit pathetic but it's hard to break out of sad moods when my anxiety is involved Fortunately I'm feeling much better today, Alex and I went to the gym for the first time this morning, it was embarrassing how unfit we both are but we had a laugh
Fortunately I'm feeling much better today, Alex and I went to the gym for the first time this morning, it was embarrassing how unfit we both are but we had a laugh I get that, at times I get sad because I feel unlovable but then I realise that's ******** and watch funny tiktoks. Having something to fall back on is really important
Reply 66
17
Original post
by AnonymousI get that, but I also think it's worth starting to confront that and develop better coping strategies. Like with my PTSD, I've found it really, really useful to have independent coping strategies which are healthy and which short cut that and it's really worked for me. I'm glad that you've had a great day and you're not tempting me to go to the gym!
You should've seen me 5 years ago, I was much worse then than I am now, so I've definitely worked on coping strategies and stuff, and I still do try! I don't have any access to counselling or therapy at the moment, I may be privileged but that's one thing I can't afford
So it's just me and I'm trying very hard to stay on top of things, but it's been difficult with all the lockdowns and then things opening up again The gym isn't as bad as it sounds, there's lots of fit guys there showing off Original post
by PHREDNathan, I know what you mean because I have been there myself.
Just concentrate on your coping mechanisms when things start to look bleak.
You will get through this because you can now recognise when things are getting on top of you and know how to deal with it.
Just concentrate on your coping mechanisms when things start to look bleak.
You will get through this because you can now recognise when things are getting on top of you and know how to deal with it.
Thank you
I really do try my best, but I guess sometimes it looks like I'm not doing anything because I just get into bed and cry Original post
by josie71202I get that, at times I get sad because I feel unlovable but then I realise that's ******** and watch funny tiktoks. Having something to fall back on is really important
I find it hard to set my feelings aside and distract myself, but you're right, that stuff is important
Reply 67
Original post
by nathan1403You should've seen me 5 years ago, I was much worse then than I am now, so I've definitely worked on coping strategies and stuff, and I still do try! I don't have any access to counselling or therapy at the moment, I may be privileged but that's one thing I can't afford So it's just me and I'm trying very hard to stay on top of things, but it's been difficult with all the lockdowns and then things opening up again The gym isn't as bad as it sounds, there's lots of fit guys there showing off
Thank you I really do try my best, but I guess sometimes it looks like I'm not doing anything because I just get into bed and cry
I find it hard to set my feelings aside and distract myself, but you're right, that stuff is important
So it's just me and I'm trying very hard to stay on top of things, but it's been difficult with all the lockdowns and then things opening up again The gym isn't as bad as it sounds, there's lots of fit guys there showing off Thank you
I really do try my best, but I guess sometimes it looks like I'm not doing anything because I just get into bed and cry I find it hard to set my feelings aside and distract myself, but you're right, that stuff is important
Glad you're ok
There's some kids outside my local takeaway (17 year old boys) who won't stop staring at my walking aids and I'm pretty sure they pointed and laughed so I feel uncomfortable yay fun!
Reply 68
17
Original post
by josie71202Glad you're ok
There's some kids outside my local takeaway (17 year old boys) who won't stop staring at my walking aids and I'm pretty sure they pointed and laughed so I feel uncomfortable yay fun!
There's some kids outside my local takeaway (17 year old boys) who won't stop staring at my walking aids and I'm pretty sure they pointed and laughed so I feel uncomfortable yay fun!
Ugh, teenage boys are the worst, that's so mean
I hope they didn't stay around for long!Reply 69
Original post
by nathan1403Ugh, teenage boys are the worst, that's so mean I hope they didn't stay around for long!
I hope they didn't stay around for long!They did but I just walked the long way home. People seem to have become more annoying like that recently
Reply 70
17
Original post
by josie71202They did but I just walked the long way home. People seem to have become more annoying like that recently
I'm sorry to hear that
People are so immature!Reply 71
17
Anyway, we've updated the OP, it now includes a list of our anniversaries and the rewards we get for going to the gym
Reply 72
Original post
by nathan1403I'm sorry to hear that People are so immature!
People are so immature!People are so immature I watched a woman nearly fall over staring at me once
Reply 73
Original post
by nathan1403….Every time one of us goes to the gym and spends at least 30 minutes working out or attends an exercise class, we get one point. Here are the rewards:
15 points - coffee and cake
30 points - cinema
45 points - meal out
60 points - day trip
75 points - clothes shopping and lunch
90 points - overnight trip
105 points - trip to Ikea with a £300 budget
120 points - spa and hotel weekend
The challenge runs until the end of the year. Current point count: 2.
15 points - coffee and cake
30 points - cinema
45 points - meal out
60 points - day trip
75 points - clothes shopping and lunch
90 points - overnight trip
105 points - trip to Ikea with a £300 budget
120 points - spa and hotel weekend
The challenge runs until the end of the year. Current point count: 2.
Omg that’s tough 😳- are you sure it shouldn’t be
1.5 points coffee and cake
3.0 points cinema
Etc… did you miss the decimal points out?
@josie71202 my friend who has a visible disability, if someone stares at her she just stops and smiles and says ‘hello can I help you?’… they usually just look really awkward and bugger off.
It’s so hot!!! And it’s my birthday at the weekend and M is being really secretive about what we’re doing. And he’s been involving my mum in whatever the plan is as they keep going quiet or changing the subject when I walk in the room. I’m kinda freaking out a bit.
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 74
Original post
by AnnaBanananaOmg that’s tough 😳- are you sure it shouldn’t be
1.5 points coffee and cake
3.0 points cinema
Etc… did you miss the decimal points out?
@josie71202 my friend who has a visible disability, if someone stares at her she just stops and smiles and says ‘hello can I help you?’… they usually just look really awkward and bugger off.
It’s so hot!!! And it’s my birthday at the weekend and M is being really secretive about what we’re doing. And he’s been involving my mum in whatever the plan is as they keep going quiet or changing the subject when I walk in the room. I’m kinda freaking out a bit.
1.5 points coffee and cake
3.0 points cinema
Etc… did you miss the decimal points out?
@josie71202 my friend who has a visible disability, if someone stares at her she just stops and smiles and says ‘hello can I help you?’… they usually just look really awkward and bugger off.
It’s so hot!!! And it’s my birthday at the weekend and M is being really secretive about what we’re doing. And he’s been involving my mum in whatever the plan is as they keep going quiet or changing the subject when I walk in the room. I’m kinda freaking out a bit.
I'm sure they have a good plan so don't worry and happy birthday
I tend to stare back at people who stare but they're bloody everywhere. I guess I've started noticing more and it's bothering me. It's just that a lot of little things have been bothering me recently it's just adding up.
Reply 75
Original post
by josie71202I'm sure they have a good plan so don't worry and happy birthday
I tend to stare back at people who stare but they're bloody everywhere. I guess I've started noticing more and it's bothering me. It's just that a lot of little things have been bothering me recently it's just adding up.
I tend to stare back at people who stare but they're bloody everywhere. I guess I've started noticing more and it's bothering me. It's just that a lot of little things have been bothering me recently it's just adding up.
People are idiots
- I know not on the same level but when I was ill people would stare and comment, it gets you down. It’s my 21st - I feel old, I like being 20!
Reply 76
Original post
by AnnaBanananaPeople are idiots - I know not on the same level but when I was ill people would stare and comment, it gets you down.
It’s my 21st - I feel old, I like being 20!
- I know not on the same level but when I was ill people would stare and comment, it gets you down. It’s my 21st - I feel old, I like being 20!
Yeah people are incredibly annoying
You're not that old
Reply 77
17
Original post
by AnnaBanananaOmg that’s tough 😳- are you sure it shouldn’t be
1.5 points coffee and cake
3.0 points cinema
Etc… did you miss the decimal points out?
@josie71202 my friend who has a visible disability, if someone stares at her she just stops and smiles and says ‘hello can I help you?’… they usually just look really awkward and bugger off.
It’s so hot!!! And it’s my birthday at the weekend and M is being really secretive about what we’re doing. And he’s been involving my mum in whatever the plan is as they keep going quiet or changing the subject when I walk in the room. I’m kinda freaking out a bit.
1.5 points coffee and cake
3.0 points cinema
Etc… did you miss the decimal points out?
@josie71202 my friend who has a visible disability, if someone stares at her she just stops and smiles and says ‘hello can I help you?’… they usually just look really awkward and bugger off.
It’s so hot!!! And it’s my birthday at the weekend and M is being really secretive about what we’re doing. And he’s been involving my mum in whatever the plan is as they keep going quiet or changing the subject when I walk in the room. I’m kinda freaking out a bit.
I wish!! But we're not going to get those muscles if we only work out for a few minutes each
Oooooohhhh that's exciting!
You'll have to let us know all the details, I'm just saying when Alex and my mum were being secretive, he ended up proposing to me!Reply 78
Original post
by nathan1403I wish!! But we're not going to get those muscles if we only work out for a few minutes each
Oooooohhhh that's exciting! You'll have to let us know all the details, I'm just saying when Alex and my mum were being secretive, he ended up proposing to me!
Oooooohhhh that's exciting!
You'll have to let us know all the details, I'm just saying when Alex and my mum were being secretive, he ended up proposing to me!But cake!!!
🤔 nah, I don’t think he would. Someday, but not yet, probably once he’s finished uni and we can live together…
Reply 79
@nathan1403 @nicalibres So happy for you both with the engagement. There are several people with great results so congrats
An update on us: We're getting on better with home educating so I hope we're allowed to do it for the rest of his education. Slowly venturing out to things he used to do. A slow process, but getting there.
Back to thread: I totally get both perspectives here (privileged life and think of what you do have, vs that your lifestyle doesn't affect your likelihood to have mental health struggles).
You've got to be very careful offering either though, at the risk of insensitivity and misunderstanding.
Let's go for a middle ground, as others have, of that sometimes having perspective and being grateful can help, but ultimately some days will just be tough and the person needs strategies and support to work through that.
talk over.
An update on us: We're getting on better with home educating so I hope we're allowed to do it for the rest of his education. Slowly venturing out to things he used to do. A slow process, but getting there.
Back to thread: I totally get both perspectives here (privileged life and think of what you do have, vs that your lifestyle doesn't affect your likelihood to have mental health struggles).
You've got to be very careful offering either though, at the risk of insensitivity and misunderstanding.
Let's go for a middle ground, as others have, of that sometimes having perspective and being grateful can help, but ultimately some days will just be tough and the person needs strategies and support to work through that.
talk over.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- GYG - A Year 11 thread.
- GYG Announcement: Vote for your 24/25 GYG WINNER(s) - a Kindle is up for grabs!
- "It seems we're on a journey/a trip through space and time": Dr TLG's blog!
- gyg a levelllllll!!!!!!
- Y11(S4) GYG of an A student?(25/26)
- yr 12 LOCK IN 🔒gyg
- A Week in the Life of Kingston Fashion Student
- What does your role as a Student Ambassador entail?
- Best places to relax in Bradford
- Maya’s Y12 A-level GYG ⭒ Restoration
- Dental Supercurriculars - Book Recommendations
- TSR Community Awards 2024: The RESULTS
- 🌟 jil 🌟 grow your grades 💰📈📊💸
- any my little pony fans? σ(￣、￣〃)
- Best places to relax in Bradford
- 🎾🏎️🧖🏻*♀️🫧 jil gyg 🧴💕 👗📺
- What do you do as a student ambassador?
- What Will You Be Reading Over The Summer?
- What student hacks actually saved you money?
- the race to the finish line - daisy's y11 gyg
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 month ago
What are the worst movies you have watched?Last reply 2 months ago
Blush, Bills & Boundaries - A self-care and wellness blogCreative corner
5
122
Last reply 6 months ago
Best laptop for students, Expert recommendations to chooseLast reply 6 months ago
Laptop recommendations for uniHow The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
