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What do you make of this?

I'm a 25M straight guy, always been attracted to girls, had multiple relationships and sexual adventures with girls, never been slightly attracted to a guy before. But I got hooked up on porn and it became an addiction and lately I watched a bisexual (MMF) threesome (I was concentrated on the girl but the guys interacted too) after I was confused of having bisexual dream about the same thing, to note that I was shaking of anxiety once I finished (Didn't enjoy it and it felt forced...I even turned the phone away as I was about to finish and the guys interacted and it was the only video I ever watched). Now, I feel extremely shameful and guilty for watching something that doesn't align with my sexuality, and it traumatised me that I've been losing sleep for the last month, whenever I close my eyes the images from the video comes haunting me and it disturbs me a lot. I feel that my life is ruined. I don't know if this porn induced HOCD (Never had OCD before) or just the guilt and shame of letting porn wrap my mind and doing something I've never remotely thought about.
Sexuality can change, there are plenty of people whose preferences change, just as there are those who know theirs at a young age.
Original post by username5702009
Sexuality can change, there are plenty of people whose preferences change, just as there are those who know theirs at a young age.

No it doesn't change. Some people hide it or most are aware of it as kids, they just don’t know what to make of it until they’re adults. That's when it ‘changes’.
It is real, I’ve experienced it. And gay and even bisexuals can get it towards the opposite or same sex. It’s ‘fear’ and ‘disgust’ of the same or opposite sex. For example, a gay person scared of being straight or a straight person scared of being gay (like me). Although this may seem weird and abnormal to you, this is OCD. It’s a really painful mental health illness and can cause intrusive thoughts, repetitive thinking and compulsions which can degrade your quality of life.

Everyone thinks about their sexual orientation when they’re 14-16, but this is different, it’s an illness that not a lot of people and unfortunately U.K. therapists know about. I had to get my treatment abroad because doctors here didn’t know anything about it. I struggled so much and wanted to commit suicide. I found a great doctor and am getting better now thankfully due to the therapy and meds. If I wasn’t getting better then that means it’s not ocd but now I’m almost free of these thoughts and am confident then ever that I’m straight!
I hope this can help loads of you out who are struggling with ocd or raises awareness for it.

Also, you definitely have ocd.
Original post by Anonymous
It is real, I’ve experienced it. And gay and even bisexuals can get it towards the opposite or same sex. It’s ‘fear’ and ‘disgust’ of the same or opposite sex. For example, a gay person scared of being straight or a straight person scared of being gay (like me). Although this may seem weird and abnormal to you, this is OCD. It’s a really painful mental health illness and can cause intrusive thoughts, repetitive thinking and compulsions which can degrade your quality of life.

Everyone thinks about their sexual orientation when they’re 14-16, but this is different, it’s an illness that not a lot of people and unfortunately U.K. therapists know about. I had to get my treatment abroad because doctors here didn’t know anything about it. I struggled so much and wanted to commit suicide. I found a great doctor and am getting better now thankfully due to the therapy and meds. If I wasn’t getting better then that means it’s not ocd but now I’m almost free of these thoughts and am confident then ever that I’m straight!
I hope this can help loads of you out who are struggling with ocd or raises awareness for it.

Also, you definitely have ocd.

This is an old thread but since you have just commented on it with this - the thread starter states that he has never had OCD so I have no idea how you can make that last statement based on the information he has provided.

Intrusive thoughts such as the OPs are just as likely due to the society in which they have been raised and a negative perception of being gay that has been instilled. And as that is just as plausible an argument you should not be telling anyone that they definitely do or do not have something.

Finally, sexuality is fluid and has the potential to change over time as you change. To say it cannot change would be wrong because there so many people who have experienced it change as they have got older. We cannot define everyone by our own experience.
Original post by Anonymous
This is an old thread but since you have just commented on it with this - the thread starter states that he has never had OCD so I have no idea how you can make that last statement based on the information he has provided.

Intrusive thoughts such as the OPs are just as likely due to the society in which they have been raised and a negative perception of being gay that has been instilled. And as that is just as plausible an argument you should not be telling anyone that they definitely do or do not have something.

Finally, sexuality is fluid and has the potential to change over time as you change. To say it cannot change would be wrong because there so many people who have experienced it change as they have got older. We cannot define everyone by our own experience.

Sexuality is not fluid. It is not. It’s just that people haven’t recognised what their sexuality is when they were young, they should mainly not label it. They understand it more as they get older. It does not change. That’s all silly theories.

Also, people can suddenly get hocd. You don’t need a background of ocd for it. Hundreds have gone to my psychiatrist about this even though they didn’t have a background of ocd. Thoughts like OPs is not due to negative perception, people with negative perception hate gay people but one can have HOCD and still have gay friends and like gay people and see them as family for example. HOCD is a different matter and as I’ve experienced it, I’m more empathetic and know what the OP is going through.

I also never had a background of ocd, but suddenly got HOCD due to my thoughts.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a 25M straight guy, always been attracted to girls, had multiple relationships and sexual adventures with girls, never been slightly attracted to a guy before. But I got hooked up on porn and it became an addiction and lately I watched a bisexual (MMF) threesome (I was concentrated on the girl but the guys interacted too) after I was confused of having bisexual dream about the same thing, to note that I was shaking of anxiety once I finished (Didn't enjoy it and it felt forced...I even turned the phone away as I was about to finish and the guys interacted and it was the only video I ever watched). Now, I feel extremely shameful and guilty for watching something that doesn't align with my sexuality, and it traumatised me that I've been losing sleep for the last month, whenever I close my eyes the images from the video comes haunting me and it disturbs me a lot. I feel that my life is ruined. I don't know if this porn induced HOCD (Never had OCD before) or just the guilt and shame of letting porn wrap my mind and doing something I've never remotely thought about.

Don’t worry OP you definitely have ocd! Make sure to see a good doctor that understands what you’re going through. Don’t go to therapists that say it’s okay to question your orientation. Good luck! I’m here if you have any questions.
Stop telling the OP that they have OCD - you are not the OP and you cannot say they are the same just because of what you experienced.

Enough people have stated that over time their sexuality changed or that it is fluid and it is not for you to tell them that they are wrong. You do not know how they have felt at each stage so you cannot tell them they are wrong.

Again - do not diagnose someone of the scantiest of information with absolutely no qualification - they are not you!
Original post by Anonymous
Stop telling the OP that they have OCD - you are not the OP and you cannot say they are the same just because of what you experienced.

Enough people have stated that over time their sexuality changed or that it is fluid and it is not for you to tell them that they are wrong. You do not know how they have felt at each stage so you cannot tell them they are wrong.

Again - do not diagnose someone of the scantiest of information with absolutely no qualification - they are not you!

You have no right to change my views so don’t push any of your ideas on me. He has ocd, it’s clear as the blue sky on earth that he has ocd. It’s not a sexuality problem.

Sexuality does not change. People just haven’t experimented properly and searched properly, they do this in their later years hence the ‘change’.
OP don’t listen to this user, I promise promise promise you it’s ocd. Definitely definitely see a good therapist for it.

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