Should I go to uni with bad mental health?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
(This is more of a rant)
Hello, i’m about to go into Year 13 in September (provided I pass first year) doing a levels in sociology, psychology and geography, which ultimately means I need to seriously start thinking about my future and university. However, my mother passed away 4 years ago and since then I have been extremely miserable and depressed, which has only affected my college experience (really struggled to adjust to new school and environment - made no friends and was very lonely due to social anxiety, no motivation to get up and go to lessons so skipped a lot, fairly underachieving grades)

I currently have 0 clue what to do at uni and what I want as a career as i’ve just constantly thought theres no point as I have no future. I have no interests or hobbies and I don’t particularly enjoy any of my a levels or see me doing them as a career. I sit in my room 24/7 and do nothing because I have no motivation.

A logical thing would be to take a gap year, however my dad is pressuring me to go to uni as he wants to start dating again (an idea which i’m still not 100% comfortable with as I’m still grieving) and move house. I don’t want to feel like a burden staying at home and holding him back. I also feel like a gap year would be extremely lonely as the few friends I have would be leaving the city and going off to uni and I feel I would struggle to make friends. I also recently quit a summer job that I had been offered before I even started as I started worrying about my anxiety and I’m worried the same would happen in a gap year, making it extremely unproductive. But at the same time, I don’t want to go to uni just because I feel like I have to, especially as I don’t know what to study. I’m also worried uni will only make things worse - I might struggle to make friends and feel even more lonely, money struggles, motivation to go to lectures and study etc.

I’m not asking for anyone to tell me what to do, especially because it’s such a huge decision and essentially all up to me, I just needed someone to listen because I don’t really have anyone to do that for me.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
hey, thanks for sharing. I’m listening. may be worth speaking to someone at your school, I know it’s painful but honestly they’re there to help. I don’t think it could hurt to have a look around ucas just at some courses. you’re not committing yourself to anything but just seeing if there’s anything that interests you at all. or start with a uni - are there any cities that you love? have a look at the uni webpage. keep going, things will get better. loads of people do feel uni isn’t right for them and there are plenty of other options. you will find something right for you post sixth form
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
also should have mentioned if you do choose uni, there is lots and lots of support if you ask for it. you definitely definitely will not be the only one struggling with depression and freshers, student accommodation etc is designed to help you meet new people. It seems a scary concept I know but you’re in the same boat as more people than you realise
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#4
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#4
Really sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and how you are suffering after this

I'd echo the advice above about speaking to someone at school. I'd also consider speaking to your GP about support they might be able to offer you. Were you ever offered any bereavement/grief counselling or anything?

I don't think uni is out of reach completely but ideally you'd definitely have support and some sort of diagnosis if appropriate, so you can access help at any eventual uni easier :yes:
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Anonymous #2
#5
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#5
ALSO it’s a myth you need good grades to get into uni. honestly there are plenty of courses that require Bs/Cs and Ds
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Arden University
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
(This is more of a rant)
Hello, i’m about to go into Year 13 in September (provided I pass first year) doing a levels in sociology, psychology and geography, which ultimately means I need to seriously start thinking about my future and university. However, my mother passed away 4 years ago and since then I have been extremely miserable and depressed, which has only affected my college experience (really struggled to adjust to new school and environment - made no friends and was very lonely due to social anxiety, no motivation to get up and go to lessons so skipped a lot, fairly underachieving grades)

I currently have 0 clue what to do at uni and what I want as a career as i’ve just constantly thought theres no point as I have no future. I have no interests or hobbies and I don’t particularly enjoy any of my a levels or see me doing them as a career. I sit in my room 24/7 and do nothing because I have no motivation.

A logical thing would be to take a gap year, however my dad is pressuring me to go to uni as he wants to start dating again (an idea which i’m still not 100% comfortable with as I’m still grieving) and move house. I don’t want to feel like a burden staying at home and holding him back. I also feel like a gap year would be extremely lonely as the few friends I have would be leaving the city and going off to uni and I feel I would struggle to make friends. I also recently quit a summer job that I had been offered before I even started as I started worrying about my anxiety and I’m worried the same would happen in a gap year, making it extremely unproductive. But at the same time, I don’t want to go to uni just because I feel like I have to, especially as I don’t know what to study. I’m also worried uni will only make things worse - I might struggle to make friends and feel even more lonely, money struggles, motivation to go to lectures and study etc.

I’m not asking for anyone to tell me what to do, especially because it’s such a huge decision and essentially all up to me, I just needed someone to listen because I don’t really have anyone to do that for me.
anonymous #1

Morning! It sounds like you have had a few really challenging years, you do seem to have a great deal of self awareness of the challenges you have faced which I certainly didn't have till I got much older.

I think it is important that if you do go to University that you engage with the student support services, I have studied at 3 Universities and they have all gone out of their way to help students who have experienced mental health issues. They have a legal duty of care to try and support you, so I would signpost from day one what you have been through (I had a similar experience myself in my student days)

There are some avenues via the NHS to get further mental health support too https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/nhs...lth-helplines/


Marc
Arden University Student Ambassador
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#7
Really didn’t expect any responses so thank you all and also thank you for listening and being so understanding!! After reading your responses I definitely think I need to seek some support for my mental health, I think i’m just a bit afraid/embarrassed to admit to my family i’m not in a good state of mind which shouldn’t be the case at all. I did receive 6 sessions of grief counselling at my secondary school immediately after my mother’s passing but I definitely think I need something long term. I’ll also look into how I could manage this at uni and the different services provided by unis, maybe that will encourage me to go. Going to do a thorough search of uni courses too. Again, really appreciate the responses, thank you all so much
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