My mum and dad still treat me like a child, even thouh I'm 18

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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My mum and dad have been great for me, in paying out for therapy and things, but its especially my mum who just can't seem to let go of me and accept that I want independence. She's constantly negative, about jsut about anything, despite telling me to be "positive" in the past. I'm trying to get a job, yet when I apply for them, my mum doesn't think that "I can do it". She doesn't get how people just add people on Snapchat and arrange things like that; she acts as if whenever I meet someone I don't know I'm gonna get molested or something, despite me literally being way older than child molesters go to - because of one simple reason. i'm no longer a child! My mum constantly goes on about how she will miss me if I go to university, yet her constant interference in my affairs is making me want to go more than anything. My dad isn't completely innocent in this two; he even demands that I ask his permission before going on dating apps because its "his money" (even though its mine, money that I got for them from birthdays and stuff or my own earned cash"). Though tbf to my mum, she did pull him up on this and he later took it back, btu he still seems to have this attitude that I have to "live by his rules as I'm living in their house". Firstly, I resent that attitude, it's very controlling and outdated IMO, and secondly half the time what I do doesn't concern the actual house. It's not as if I'm bringing people back to the house and trashing it is it? I don't have much of a social life, but whenever an opportunnity does arise for me to meet people, I secretly hope in a way that it ends up getting cancelled, just to save me the dread from having to try and explain to my parents what it is and justify why I should go. When I had a girlfriend last year, my dad literally demanded that I "keep the door open", and I was only allowed to kiss and hug. I was 17. The girl I was with wasn't 16 yet (she was 15), but c'mon, people my age do far worse things with girls way younger than her. I've always felt nervous going into relationships because of how they will react.

I feel like I'm being manipulated, blackmailed in a way, psycholoigcally by my mum, because she always attempts to guilt me into being dependent on her; like she'll always remind me of how she and my dad paid out for therapy for me, and my mum says she gets "hurt" when I choos to share things with others but not her. I think deep down, she's very guilty about sending me to a school where I got horrendously bullied, and my mum and dad didn't move me until it was way too late, not until myself, my cousin, and a counsellor managed to persusade them to do so. For the record, I don't think their bad parents, they've always had my best interests at heart, but sometimes what they percieve to be my "best interests" are different from mine. My mum is way too risk averse, and on top of that, for years I've had to keep what I want to do as a career a secret from them because I feel like I'd dissapoitn them if I didn't go to university; now they seem to accept I don't have to, but I always get subtle hints from them that they're dissapointed in me for not going so. Like i was selling my laptop, just because i needed money, and I get asked by my mum "so i take it you're not goin to university then?". It's just **** like that that drives me insane. My mum demands that she be able to follow me on social media, and doesn't get why I might have not allowed her to. I just feel like both my parents are very out of touch and seem to hesistant to let me make my own decisions (and mistakes). Recently, I got diagnosed with aspergers (autism), and my mum didn't want me to get diagnosed ,was constnatly putting me off it, and when I was diagnosed, she almost denied I had a disability outside of the house, like when it comes to jobs, she was like "oh, you're not disabled ,why are you saying you have a disability?" And despite me being eligible for university grants because of my condition, she didnt' sign me up for them.

TLDR: my parents, particuarly my mum, seem overly protective of me and won't let me live without constantly intruding on my life.
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SubhanF
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Report 1 month ago
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It seems like your are really overthinking this , they do seem a bit overprotective but that’s because they care about you . I really advise you to talk about this and their response should hopefully clarify the situation for you 👍
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