think_patronus
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January - Applied on deadline day because of deep insecurities about my course of choice
May - Received all offers (5/5) and asked two universities to change my course. They accepted.
July - on deadline day again, firmed/marked as insurance these two unis above
Today - received my grades: 45/45 D's (I did an Access Course)

But I am still confused, deeply.

I am not at all excited about the firm choice subject, nor about the Uni itself (King's college) I chose it because of the internship module (which... I could do during summer at other unis, right?) and the USA as option for travel abroad.
I am not 100 % sure about my insurance choice subject either (UCL, comparative literature) because it does not offer travel to the USA to study and it is so academic that a career coach told me that academics is different from what employers look for.

I get into problematic panic mode when I think about these things so I keep putting them off. I feel anxious and tense and awful just writing you about this but I know that I have to do something.

Who could I talk to? My tutor at the course has not been helpful throughout the process of choice (being mature students, I know I am supposed to know and I guess it's not her job to question me).

I am scared and don't know what to do.

In my life, I want to work in Marketing/Pr & Communications. I have applied for two apprenticeships in these roles (no answers yet), but I want to have a degree. Studying this year has been awesome, in terms of developing my academic knowledge.

I know that ,despite the grades, I was 0% interested in our last History and Sociology modules.
I did my extended project on Sociolinguistic (taking in papers from psychology) and I found the research for it to be extremely boring (academic writing in papers, at least for what I looked for, is so flat.)
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Kogomogo
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Don't dicount the value of an internship module, it can be hard getting onto one without connections so if you're able to get one set up via your uni then that takes a lot of the work out of finding one yourself and planning it, plus you'd have the support of your uni teachers during it which can be a big help too rather than going it alone. That internship will then also give you useful connections and experiences for after uni.

Study abroad can also be fun, add to your development and provide experiences to your cv that help you stand out.

Will the course you have firmed qualify you to work in the career area you want? If so then the choice that is best for you will be the one where you can grow, have a good time, be supported, be enthusiastic about your course and as a result of all of that finally come out with a better grade than if you'd gone elsewhere.
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McGinger
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Its perfectly normal to get cold-feet at this stage - going to Uni is a big step and thousands of people will be feeling exactly the same right now.
Breathe deeply, and think about all the good things you want Uni to be, and all the experiences that are ahead of you. It will change your life - but in the best ways possible.
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think_patronus
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Thank you so much for your replies <3 I do have cold-feet.

KCL doesn't seem to help you with the internship module, at least for what I understand. You have to find it yourself and apply and go through the process as any external candidate

My offer is for Digital Culture, which I found useful in the marketing/PR aspirations (I hope) because everything moves through the digital world, but it seems to be sociological and I have started to find a bit insufferable how the subject is so left-wining. It feels like I am feeding depressing thoughts to my already precarious mental health.

I don't feel like I need to know how unjust the world is - I live it - and how academics explain it; I want to learn how to succeed so I can lift up other people and grant them opportunities those injustices deprives them of.
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