Is my rebound falling for me?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
This guy who I've been friends with for more than 4 years, is also low key my fwb (we havent had sx, just got physical) and he is also aware that it started out when he was my rebound and I just got out of one of my longer relationships. We've been good friends even after, I dated another guy after and this dude has still been a good friend, we kept in touch after he switched schools.

Even if we havent talked in a long while cause we're busy with school and life, we still manage to pick up conversations right where we left off everytime we do talk again. He isnt a romantic person, doesnt like cheesy stuff, and I love a romantic guy, which is why we started off in the first place, because even though we have crazy attraction between us, we want different things in a relationship. I need a protective, clingy of sorts kinda guy who'd put effort into us, but he likes more laid back kinda stuff. I'd want the guy to reply to me often and he takes his time with his replies.

But after my latest breakup, we started flirting again. But this time he's been more romantic, as in not just sx talk, but he thinks about cuddles with me, and getting me gifts for my birthday, which isnt like him. He's been calling me baby and sweetheart, and about how he knows me as his lady, and how we got a special kinda bond. He's been talking about how I wouldnt have ended up in my last relationship (which was toxic) if he didnt switch schools, and about how we would have dated because he feels very close to me.

A few weeks back when I got real depressed about my ex, I was thinking about ending it all, and wasnt in a good place, I told him about and he was super supportive, and told me he really does care about me and wouldnt know what he'd do if he lost me. He then later told me he loved me at 3 in the morning, and then it was a little awkward so he said he loved me more than a friend but not that way, like how you love your family and we changed topic and didnt speak of that again.

He knows he was my rebound, but then says he doesnt want to label it that way or as fwb, because I mean more to him. To me I've never been a part of his close friends circle because we were part of different groups at school. We were both pretty popular and attractive people, but he hung out with other popular kids who hated me, and I hung out with other people who his popular friends didnt support. So, when him and I did hang out, it was in secret, and we'd have to sneak around to be together.

Right before he left school, one of the times we snuck away from everyone, we sat on the floor with my head on his chest, and he put his arm around me, we sat there in silence, and he told me that he wished he could freeze that moment, away from the drama and everything, just him and me, together. I said I wished the same, and I know I've wanted him and I to be more than friends sometimes, but then I try to tell myself that it wouldnt work out because we want different things.

I'm just worried he's actually falling for me, because of the way he's been acting lately, and if we do take things forward, I'd loose him as a friend. I might be overthinking his feelings because of my latest breakup which was about 2 months back, but I want someone to give me fresh perspective.
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Surnia
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm just worried he's actually falling for me, because of the way he's been acting lately, and if we do take things forward, I'd loose him as a friend. I might be overthinking his feelings because of my latest breakup which was about 2 months back, but I want someone to give me fresh perspective.
Because of the way he's been acting; what about your actions? You haven't exactly discouraged him. In your words, you've been flirting and getting physical, maybe because he was a safe bet and it could be your little romantic fantasy without being serious. Are you really over your previous toxic relationship, because now you've got to face up to the fact that someone may want commitment again from you? Could it be that which bothers you more than it being this guy maybe falling for you?

You could lose him either way; if you take things forward and there's a messy break-up, or you tell him you're not interested in taking things further and even have to draw back from what you have been doing. You need to have a proper talk with him and find out how things stand. And ASAP, otherwise it's not fair on him and you'll be going mad thinking it over.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Surnia)
Because of the way he's been acting; what about your actions? You haven't exactly discouraged him. In your words, you've been flirting and getting physical, maybe because he was a safe bet and it could be your little romantic fantasy without being serious. Are you really over your previous toxic relationship, because now you've got to face up to the fact that someone may want commitment again from you? Could it be that which bothers you more than it being this guy maybe falling for you?

You could lose him either way; if you take things forward and there's a messy break-up, or you tell him you're not interested in taking things further and even have to draw back from what you have been doing. You need to have a proper talk with him and find out how things stand. And ASAP, otherwise it's not fair on him and you'll be going mad thinking it over.
Well I have flirted with him occasionally, like twice since my last breakup. I havent discouraged him since he knows he's my rebound and when I need someone and I'm feeling lonely he's always been the one I lean to, and he knows that. I've not been afraid of commitment for a long time, and I doubt thats it. About being over my previous guy, some days are better than others, and I talk to this guy about it too. He asks me to block him and move on and he's been supportive most of the time, he knows sometimes I still wish for my previous guy but he keeps me grounded.

He tells me all my previous choices in men were trash and he's the only good dude who could sweep a lady like me off her feet. His words almost exactly. I'm just worried a proper talk might make things awkward if its just me overthinking his feelings and he isn't falling and its just like before between us. He isn't much of a deep person in the cheesy romantic kinda relationship so I doubt a messy breakup is possible between us, like I just know. And he doesn't always reply really soon nowadays since we've both been busy with university applications and last minute stuff, this feels like something I should ask when he's online and we're talking?
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I have flirted with him occasionally, like twice since my last breakup. I havent discouraged him since he knows he's my rebound and when I need someone and I'm feeling lonely he's always been the one I lean to, and he knows that. I've not been afraid of commitment for a long time, and I doubt thats it. About being over my previous guy, some days are better than others, and I talk to this guy about it too. He asks me to block him and move on and he's been supportive most of the time, he knows sometimes I still wish for my previous guy but he keeps me grounded.

He tells me all my previous choices in men were trash and he's the only good dude who could sweep a lady like me off her feet. His words almost exactly. I'm just worried a proper talk might make things awkward if its just me overthinking his feelings and he isn't falling and its just like before between us. He isn't much of a deep person in the cheesy romantic kinda relationship so I doubt a messy breakup is possible between us, like I just know. And he doesn't always reply really soon nowadays since we've both been busy with university applications and last minute stuff, this feels like something I should ask when he's online and we're talking?
No, you don't do this online. You meet up and do it face-to-face and get it sorted out, one way or the other. If it turns out you're overthinking, it's a much-needed reality check for you.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Surnia)
No, you don't do this online. You meet up and do it face-to-face and get it sorted out, one way or the other. If it turns out you're overthinking, it's a much-needed reality check for you.
Well with COVID and everything, we havent met up in a while and he keeps asking if we could later on, but my family is strict about the not meeting people right now, so Idk when we could. We're going to uni in two different countries and not sure when we'd get to meet again, it might be a year almost tbh. But yea I'll have the conv with him soon ig
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