Is dating always going to be this frustrating??

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Anonymous #1
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Okay so I'm single for the first time in my 20s and have just started putting myself out there...

I met a great guy on Hinge. We went out for drinks and I felt an immediate spark. The conversation was great, we were laughing a lot, had a lot in common etc etc...at one point we even kissed. It was a very spontaneous, I must have you now kind of kiss. And towards the end of the night he asked me of I wanted to hear from him again. I said yes and he seemed happy.

Then this morning I woke up to a text from him saying he had fun but he'd rather just leave it at that. And I'm left thinking ????? Did I just imagine that we had spark! And what about the kiss! 😭😭😭

Anyway, I've only been on dates with 2 guys so far and I already feel like giving up haha

Does everyone have frustrating experiences like this all the time, or is this quite rare?
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CaptainDuckie
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He might have just found you physically attractive but not someone he sees himself in the future with.

This is dating for you. Its not for the weak hearted.
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Surnia
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Reread what you've written; you felt a spark, not necessarily that you both had it. Don't read too much into what happened and don't let yourself get carried away on a first date. Some people just get caught up in the moment and enjoy it at the time, but change their mind in the cold light of day.

Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince!
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Anonymous #2
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Swear that guy was on here talking about it, he said he had a great time laughed a lot but didn't feel the spark
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
He might have just found you physically attractive but not someone he sees himself in the future with.

This is dating for you. Its not for the weak hearted.
Maybe I should take it as a compliment that he at least found me physically attractive
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Reread what you've written; you felt a spark, not necessarily that you both had it. Don't read too much into what happened and don't let yourself get carried away on a first date. Some people just get caught up in the moment and enjoy it at the time, but change their mind in the cold light of day.

Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince!
True, just because I felt it doesn't mean he did too!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Swear that guy was on here talking about it, he said he had a great time laughed a lot but didn't feel the spark
Don't think it was him. My date was only last night!
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Maybe I should take it as a compliment that he at least found me physically attractive

If you want. But the more important thing to think about is why he might have not seen you that way ....
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aliciana
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
If you want. But the more important thing to think about is why he might have not seen you that way ....
not really, he just didn't feel it and she wasn't his type for the long term, she doesn't have to change herself for him
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
If you want. But the more important thing to think about is why he might have not seen you that way ....
Well, I'll never really know why. It's not like I can just ask him, without sounding desperate!

But I do know I'm far from perfect! All I can do is keep working on myself and hope I'll meet someone o like who likes me back!
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by aliciana)
not really, he just didn't feel it and she wasn't his type for the long term, she doesn't have to change herself for him

and where did I say this?
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well, I'll never really know why. It's not like I can just ask him, without sounding desperate!

But I do know I'm far from perfect! All I can do is keep working on myself and hope I'll meet someone o like who likes me back!


I meant it in a more self-reflection way. Not in a way that you must change yourself.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
I meant it in a more self-reflection way. Not in a way that you must change yourself.
Yes I agree, thanks for clarifying 😊
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well, I'll never really know why. It's not like I can just ask him, without sounding desperate!

But I do know I'm far from perfect! All I can do is keep working on myself and hope I'll meet someone o like who likes me back!
If you ask 10 different guys why things didn't work out between you, you could get 10 different answers. Alternatively, next time it could be you that enjoys the date at the time and changes your mind the next day. It happens, it's fine to say no, and at least this one had the courtesy to be upfront and honest.

Nobody's perfect, don't sweat that and go changing yourself (unless you have some very questionable habits, no offence!). If you put on an act for a date, you'll find it difficult to sustain. And be open about what makes you compatible with someone, as it's not always the obvious things. My boyfriend has always been much more outgoing than me, we have very different interests, and we established this very early on when dating. I still don't know exactly what the attraction was, on either side, but, somehow, we got together.
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londonmyst
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Try not to take it personally.
There are plenty more attractive single fish in the dating sea.
Many of whom will be compatible with your dealbreakers and keen to attract your attention.

The dating world is something of a combination between a jungle, circus and casino.
Sometimes dates will be awful, while others will be great and some boring.
It is all valuable life experience.
Some dating incidents can be very helpful in terms of providing: a reason to edit dealbreakers, bright red lights style warning to other daters or giving friends lots of laughs.
Remember that every lousy date, rejection or breakup brings you closer to finding the right person and relationship.
Good luck!
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urlocalinmate
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Yeah, do not give up (I feel like giving up a lot myself). This will happen. You'll find the right man eventually. I understand it's somewhat difficult to move on, clearly, this guy wasn't the one for you.
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