She is 2nd choice right?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
My ex never dated her but had a serious physical or romantic attraction to her for 2 years. He wanted her a lot as he experienced "love at first sight" for her. They fell out due to him, she tried to solve their issues, he didn't listen and cut her off. So they didn't date, never had sex, kissed nothing.
When he got with me, he didn't think of her initially but later on, he tried to reach out to her , recognizing her (when he fell out, he was ignoring her, refusing to talk to her) and tried to greet herm she didn't reciprocate.


After falling out with her, he moved and we connected (he already knew me as a friend, we weren't close nor talked too much though). But we had the opportunity as he moved to my country so we started dating shortly. So with me, he had sex, relationship, met my family, I met his family, families were on social media and we were together, LDR+living together for 2 years. He moved with me to my country again and we both started studying in the same university in Paris too.

After our break up, he left France, went back to his own country then decided to visit London again. Then met the same crush again and stirred up a "friendship" which is now a full blown relationship. He lives with her now and she's met his family too.

So she was the rebound and his 2nd choice right? As he dated her after me ?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#2
Bump
0
reply
sunshine774
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
Why do you keep posting threads about the same thing? I've seen at least a couple now. You need to move on.
0
reply
sunshine774
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
You seem obsessed, and that's unhealthy.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by sunshine774)
You seem obsessed, and that's unhealthy.
OK but at least tell me who is the 2nd Choice? I think her
0
reply
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
No.
It sounds like you were the second choice and she was the instant "love at first sight" that he always wanted to be with.
Good luck moving on with your life!
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#7
(Original post by londonmyst)
No.
It sounds like you were the second choice and she was the instant "love at first sight" that he always wanted to be with.
Good luck moving on with your life!
Wait. He didn't date her. He dated me. Then met her again and rebounded
0
reply
Fenec
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
Sorry man, she was clearly the first choice and he chose you because he couldnt have her (second choice ), once he could again? Went running straight back to her.You need to move on
0
reply
foobar123
Badges: 11
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
Seems as though he never quite got over her
2
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by Fenec)
Sorry man, she was clearly the first choice and he chose you because he couldnt have her (second choice ), once he could again? Went running straight back to her.You need to move on
But he himself left her and no ge didn't go running straight back. He went to meet friends. They virtually had no contact so he didn't even know she still lived in London and studied at the same uni as his friends
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#11
(Original post by foobar123)
Seems as though he never quite got over her
How? He met her again purely by chance. They had no contact
0
reply
Fenec
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
But he himself left her and no ge didn't go running straight back. He went to meet friends. They virtually had no contact so he didn't even know she still lived in London and studied at the same uni as his friends
Dont mean literally, just the gist of it. You seem very hung up on this and possibly obsessed as a previous comment has said. I suggest talking to someone such as a therapist about this
0
reply
YaliaV123
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 month ago
#13
You should talk to a professional about your obsessive thinking.
2
reply
foobar123
Badges: 11
#14
Report 1 month ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
How? He met her again purely by chance. They had no contact
Yeah. I've had similar things happen-- met somebody, been attracted, it ended sourly, I moved on begrudgingly - even easier if in a different city - accidentally bumped into them later and it ****ed me up and I wanted to try again. Everything resurfaces and spills over and you realise you didn't really move on.

You're trying to place yourself as first or second choice which I get from a self-esteem point-of-view but that's not the right way to look at this. Just hit the wrong timing
Last edited by foobar123; 1 month ago
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#15
(Original post by foobar123)
Yeah. I've had similar things happen-- met somebody, been attracted, it ended sourly, I moved on begrudgingly - even easier if in a different city - accidentally bumped into them later and it ****ed me up and I wanted to try again. Everything resurfaces and spills over and you realise you didn't really move on.

You're trying to place yourself as first or second choice which I get from a self-esteem point-of-view but that's not the right way to look at this. Just hit the wrong timing
Why did it **** you up???

I really want to know if I was first or not? Tell me without bias please
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#16
(Original post by YaliaV123)
You should talk to a professional about your obsessive thinking.
I'm not obsessed
0
reply
foobar123
Badges: 11
#17
Report 1 month ago
#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
Why did it **** you up???

I really want to know if I was first or not? Tell me without bias please
Because I still had feeling for them that I wasn't acknowledging. Easy to let them just sit somewere when you're somewhere else.

Idk the guy. I don't even know if I fully get the situation. He's probably conflicted and confused
Last edited by foobar123; 1 month ago
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#18
Report 1 month ago
#18
No. He settled for you, and went straight to her when he had the chance. You were always his second choice.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#19
Report 1 month ago
#19
Sorry to break it to you, but it sounds as if she was his first choice. Just because there was no s*x involved or none of the typical relationship/friendship elements in their relationship doesn’t mean that he still didn’t love her. He most likely got with you so he could use you as a rebound to try get over her but couldn’t so he kept reaching out to her.

I think it’s best to move on, if you keep obsessing about it, it’ll become unhealthy. Try speaking to someone close to your or seek a therapist if you’re emotions are haywired.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry to break it to you, but it sounds as if she was his first choice. Just because there was no s*x involved or none of the typical relationship/friendship elements in their relationship doesn’t mean that he still didn’t love her. He most likely got with you so he could use you as a rebound to try get over her but couldn’t so he kept reaching out to her.

I think it’s best to move on, if you keep obsessing about it, it’ll become unhealthy. Try speaking to someone close to your or seek a therapist if you’re emotions are haywired.
He wasn't reaching out to her. He lived in France. When he came and saw her 3 times, he tried twice or once I think. This is how he acted

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sho....php?t=7062063
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Feeling behind at school/college? What is the best thing your teachers could to help you catch up?

Extra compulsory independent learning activities (eg, homework tasks) (3)
3.57%
Run extra compulsory lessons or workshops (11)
13.1%
Focus on making the normal lesson time with them as high quality as possible (16)
19.05%
Focus on making the normal learning resources as high quality/accessible as possible (9)
10.71%
Provide extra optional activities, lessons and/or workshops (29)
34.52%
Assess students, decide who needs extra support and focus on these students (16)
19.05%

Watched Threads

View All