is befriending a girl simpy?

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Anonymous #1
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I am uncomfortable asking a girl out who I don't know or know little. Rather, I just make friends and if I feel something for them, I will ask them out.
My male friends say this is what simps do and guys like me make women think they are all that, etc.
Do girls look down on guys who are simply friendly and not like flirty and stuff? do they not take them seriously but rather just see them as friends?
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username3477548
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no, go for it.
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ashtolga23
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No, I think it's a much nicer way to do things. Your friends sound like jerks who simply see women as a commodity.
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GyrosUberAlles
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I don't think so but your friends sound like incels.
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jenerous
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Do your male friends know what 'simp' actually means?
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urlocalinmate
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No, girls don't look down on friendly guys. Ignore the term 'simp', look at the actual definition, they definitely don't know it.
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StriderHort
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Yeah, your friends are weak, you should slap them down in public and establish some dominance.
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aliciana
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but how many times have you been friendzoned?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by jenerous)
Do your male friends know what 'simp' actually means?
I had lent a few books to this girl from work and my friends asked me if she was a ''fwb'' and I said no, just a friend. He was amused and told me ''a friend? lol don't help girls if they are just friends". So we got to talking about it and when we met the other friends from my group they all basically agreed that girls have outsized egos because 'guys like me' make them feel like they are something special and are spoiled etc.
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anosmianAcrimony
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Befriending a girl with the purpose and intention of doing nice things for her and then using that as leverage to extract sex - yeah, that could be considered simp-y, and also within the remit of the classic entitled incel mindset.

Befriending a girl because you're not sure whether you like-like her and want to get to know her better before you potentially ask her out - not simp-y.

Befriending a girl because having a friend is its own reward and not even expecting or angling for anything more - definitely not simp-y.

As I understand it, the idea of a "simp" is someone who goes to extreme lengths, or does absurd things for women to try to extract attention or sex from them. Your friends' application of the word here suggests befriending a girl is giving her something or doing her a favour. It really isn't. Being someone's friend is mutually beneficial. You're not losing something by befriending anyone, and it definitely doesn't entail a loss of self-respect.
Last edited by anosmianAcrimony; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by aliciana)
but how many times have you been friendzoned?
I have been rejected 2 times in the past if that is what you mean by friendzoned. I don't know if it was because of my behaviour towards them or they just weren't attracted to me but to me it looked like they just didn't find me attractive.
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aliciana
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have been rejected 2 times in the past if that is what you mean by friendzoned. I don't know if it was because of my behaviour towards them or they just weren't attracted to me but to me it looked like they just didn't find me attractive.
nah rejection can be harsh but at least it's honest, friendzoning is where they get you where they want you dangle a carrot a bit but never give you anything and just use you.
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CaptainDuckie
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Many girls look down on guys being “too” friendly. Emphasis on the word “too”.

As for asking the girl out, go ahead man. Don’t have this plan in place where you’re wanting to be friends with them first because all that’s doing is wasting time.
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Wired_1800
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am uncomfortable asking a girl out who I don't know or know little. Rather, I just make friends and if I feel something for them, I will ask them out.
My male friends say this is what simps do and guys like me make women think they are all that, etc.
Do girls look down on guys who are simply friendly and not like flirty and stuff? do they not take them seriously but rather just see them as friends?
I honestly don't understand why you would choose to friendzone yourself from the start. If you are not attracted to them or potentially want a relationship with them, then it is fine. However, if you do, then your tactics are wrong and your friends are right.

It is better imho to put your cards on the table from the start. If you get turned down, then you take it like a man and move on. No need to try to get a relationship through the window or backdoor cos you are lowkey scared or not confident.

Think about it and make your mind up, but i think your friends are probably right on this one. Good luck out there.
Last edited by Wired_1800; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by aliciana)
nah rejection can be harsh but at least it's honest, friendzoning is where they get you where they want you dangle a carrot a bit but never give you anything and just use you.
''use you'' in what ways? plenty of my male friends do not really give me anything either, just their friendship. What else are they supposed to give?
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Wired_1800
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(Original post by Anonymous)
''use you'' in what ways? plenty of my male friends do not really give me anything either, just their friendship. What else are they supposed to give?
Some women tend to “use” guys. They know the guy likes them but they keep them at a distance and friendzone them. The guy, unfortunately, is not very clever and hangs out offering support to them without getting any true affection in return.
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StriderHort
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(A mans female friends are generally the only ones who will honestly tell him about women btw)
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Elize W
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I had lent a few books to this girl from work and my friends asked me if she was a ''fwb'' and I said no, just a friend. He was amused and told me ''a friend? lol don't help girls if they are just friends". So we got to talking about it and when we met the other friends from my group they all basically agreed that girls have outsized egos because 'guys like me' make them feel like they are something special and are spoiled etc.
This story is soooo sad... So a guy with good intentions is told he shouldnt help someone if he doesnt expect to get anything in return....
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Wired_1800
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have been rejected 2 times in the past if that is what you mean by friendzoned. I don't know if it was because of my behaviour towards them or they just weren't attracted to me but to me it looked like they just didn't find me attractive.
An important advice is to get your numbers up. Go out and approach more girls. Take rejection as part of the experience because even the best guys get rejected. Don't allow yourself to fall into the friendzone esp for a girl that you really fancy. That crushing pain of rejection and being around her would end up hitting your confidence. Good luck
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Wired_1800)
I honestly don't understand why you would choose to friendzone yourself from the start. If you are not attracted to them or potentially want a relationship with them, then it is fine. However, if you do, then your tactics are wrong and your friends are right.

It is better imho to put your cards on the table from the start. If you get turned down, then you take it like a man and move on. No need to try to get a relationship through the window or backdoor cos you are lowkey scared or not confident.

Think about it and make your mind up, but i think your friends are probably right on this one. Good luck out there.

I agree.

Imagine you run the mile and at the end of it, she only says


i really like you as a friend, and nothing else

How much of an L would that be?
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